Chapter 69 Living Different
Friday Afternoon - 2:00 PM
Victoria stood in front of her closet.
Rows of black suits. Navy blazers. Silk blouses in muted tones.
Work clothes. All of it.
She pulled out a pair of jeans she'd bought five years ago. Never worn. Tags still attached.
Cut them off. Pulled them on.
They fit.
She grabbed a simple sweater. Sneakers from the back of her closet.
Looked at herself in the mirror.
Not Victoria Thorne, COO.
Just Victoria.
It felt strange. Somehow good strange.
She left the apartment without a plan. Without a schedule. Without anywhere she needed to be.
The freedom was dizzying.
At the park three blocks away, she bought coffee from a cart. Found a bench in the sun.
Watched people.
A woman jogging with a stroller. An elderly couple feeding ducks. Teenagers on skateboards.
Normal people. Living normal lives.
She'd forgotten what that looked like.
Her phone stayed in her pocket. No emails to check. No calls to return. No meetings to prepare for.
Just sitting. Being.
When was the last time she'd done this?
She couldn't remember.
Twenty minutes passed. Maybe thirty. Time felt different without a schedule dictating it.
Movement caught her eye.
A small boy running toward the playground. Dark hair. Dinosaur shirt.
Leo.
Victoria sat up straighter.
Elena followed behind, laughing as Leo ran ahead. Alexander beside her, carrying a small backpack.
They looked—happy.
Relaxed.
Like they belonged here.
Leo reached the swings, turned back. "Mama! Dad! Come push me!"
Victoria's chest tightened.
She wants to leave. Give them privacy.
But Leo spotted her first.
"AUNT VICTORIA!"
He ran toward her, full speed.
She barely had time to stand before he crashed into her legs.
"Hi, Leo."
"What are you doing here? Do you live at the park? That would be SO cool! Can people live at parks? I think they should. There's swings and grass and—"
"Leo, breathe." Elena arrived, slightly out of breath. "Hi, Victoria."
"Hi."
Alexander appeared beside them. "This is a surprise."
"I was just—" Victoria gestured vaguely. "Walking. Sitting. I don't know. Existing."
"Mood," Elena said.
Leo tugged Victoria's hand. "Can you come play with us? We're going to the swings and then the slide and then maybe the monkey bars but I'm not very good at those yet but I'm practicing!"
Victoria looked at Alexander. "I don't want to intrude—"
"You're not intruding," he said. "Come on."
They walked to the playground together. Leo between Victoria and Alexander, holding both their hands.
"Did you know," Leo said seriously, "that some dinosaurs could run really fast? Like faster than cars? Miss Sarah told me."
"I didn't know that," Victoria said.
"It's TRUE. And they had big legs. THIS big—" He stretched his free arm wide, nearly losing his balance.
At the swings, Leo climbed on. "Push me! Everyone push me!"
"We can't all push you at once," Elena said.
"Why not?"
"Physics."
"What's physics?"
"The reason three people can't push one swing."
"That's a dumb reason."
Alexander started pushing. Leo shrieked with delight.
Victoria and Elena sat on a nearby bench.
"How are you?" Elena asked.
"Strange. Good strange. I slept until nine this morning."
"Wow."
"I haven't slept past six in ten years." Victoria watched Leo swing higher. "I didn't know what to do with myself."
"Welcome to unemployment. It's disorienting."
"That's the word. Disorienting." She paused. "How's the job hunt?"
"Terrible. You?"
"Haven't started. I'm—" Victoria stopped. "I'm taking a break. From everything."
"Good for you."
They sat in comfortable silence.
Leo convinced Alexander to push him higher. "I can touch the sky! I'm basically flying!"
"You're about four feet off the ground," Alexander said.
"That's VERY high!"
Elena smiled. "He has no fear."
"None. It's impressive."
"It's terrifying."
More silence. Then Victoria said, "I'm seeing Lily on Sunday."
Elena turned. "That's wonderful."
"Terrifying. She probably won't remember me."
"She will. Kids remember."
"I hope so." Victoria's voice was quiet. "I keep thinking about what to say. How to explain where I've been. Why I—" She stopped. "There's no good explanation to that."
"The truth is usually enough."
"The truth is I chose wrong. I let work consume everything. That I was a terrible mother."
"You were a mother trying to survive in an impossible situation."
"That doesn't make it better."
"No. But it makes it human."
Leo abandoned the swings. Ran to the slide. "Watch this! I'm going down backwards!"
"Please don't—" Elena started.
Too late. He went down, shrieking the whole way.
Landed in a heap at the bottom. Laughing.
"Did you SEE that?"
"We saw," Alexander said. "Very impressive. Also dangerous."
"Yeahhh danger is my middle name!"
"Your middle name is James."
"I'm changing it to Danger."
Elena stood. "I should supervise before he breaks something."
She walked to the slide. Alexander joined her.
Victoria watched them. A family. Natural. Easy.
The way she'd had once.
And she'd lost it.
Her phone buzzed. Reminder for a meeting that no longer existed.
She deleted it.
Twenty minutes later, Leo declared himself "exhausted from all the playing."
They sat on a bench together. Leo climbed into Alexander's lap.
"My legs are so tired. I might never walk again."
"That's very dramatic," Elena said.
"I'm very good at being dramatic."
Victoria stood. "I have to go. Let you all—"
"Stay for a bit," Alexander said. "Unless you have somewhere to be?"
She didn't. "Okay." She nod.
Leo looked at her. "Aunt Victoria, do you like dinosaurs?"
"I don't know much about them."
"WHAT?" His eyes went wide. "You don't know about dinosaurs?"
"Not really."
"That's SO sad! Don't worry, I'll teach you. First, there's the T-Rex. He's the king. Then there's—"
He launched into an extensive explanation of dinosaur taxonomy.
Victoria listened. Actually listened.
Not performing interest. Not thinking about the next meeting.
Just listening to a three-year-old explain his passion.
It was—nice.
When Leo finally wound down, Elena stood. "We should get home. Someone needs a nap."
"I don't need a nap—" Leo yawned hugely.
They walked together to the parking lot.
At Elena's car, Leo hugged Victoria's legs. "Bye, Aunt Victoria! Remember what I taught you about dinosaurs!"
"I will."
After they drove away, Victoria and Alexander stood by his car.
"You look different today," he said.
"Different how?"
"Lighter. Like something lifted."
"I feel lighter. Like I can breathe for the first time in years."
"It's terrifying, isn't it?"
"And wonderful."
He smiled. "Yeah."
"Are you really starting a business?"
"Maybe. We're thinking about it."
"That's insane."
"I know."
"But good for you."
They hugged. Brief but genuine.
"Thank you," Victoria said. "For choosing right."
"You chose right too. Eventually."
"Better late than never?"
"Exactly."
She got in her car. Drove home.
Inside her apartment, she looked around.
Everything so perfect. So controlled. So empty.
She opened her laptop. Not for work. For the first time in a decade, not for work.
Pulled up old emails. Found one from many years back.
Hey Vic, we miss you! Girls' trip to Vermont this summer? Please say yes. We never see you anymore. - Rachel
She'd declined. Too busy. Too many meetings.
Victoria hit reply.
Rachel - I know it's been forever. I'm sorry. I got lost in work and forgot what mattered. Are you still doing those Vermont trips? If so, I'd love to join. I have a lot of time now and a lot to make up for. - V
She sent it before she could overthink.
Opened her calendar. Looked at Sunday.
Two PM. Maple Street Park. One hour with Lily.
After that—nothing.
No meetings. No obligations. No schedule.
Just possibility.
Victoria started planning.
After Sunday, after seeing Lily, after taking the first step toward being a mother again—
She'd take a real vacation. Not a work trip disguised as leisure. A real vacation.
Maybe Vermont with Rachel and the others.
Maybe somewhere alone.
Maybe it didn't matter where. Just that she went.
That she lived.
That she stopped apologizing for taking up space in her own life.
For the first time in years, Victoria felt something close to excitement.
Not about a merger or a deal or a promotion.
About life.
Her life.
The one she'd almost forgotten she had.
She closed the laptop.
Made tea.
Sat by the window watching the sun set.
Tomorrow, she'd prepare for Sunday. Figure out what to say to Lily.
Tonight, she'd just be.
Just Victoria.
Finally learning how to be herself.
After thirty-five years of being everyone else.
It was a start.
And starts, she was learning, were all you needed.
The rest would figure itself out. Or it wouldn't.
Either way, she'd be living.
Really living.
For the first time.
Finally.