Chapter 64 Pretending We're Okay
They finished the dishes in silence.
During bath time, Leo was unusually quiet.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"Are we poor now?"
Elena's hands stilled in his hair. "What?"
"Jamie at school said when people don't have jobs, they're poor. And you don't have a job. And Dad doesn't have a job. So are we poor?"
"We're—" She stopped. How did you explain this to a three-year-old? "We're going to be fine."
"But Jamie said—"
"Jamie doesn't know our situation."
"What's a situation?"
"It means—" She sighed. "It means we're figuring things out."
"Oh." He thought about this. "Can I still go to school?"
"Yes."
"And can we still have food?"
"Yes, baby. Always."
"Then I think we're okay. Those are the important things, right?"
Her throat tightened. "Right."
After putting Leo to bed, Elena found Alexander on the couch, laptop open.
"Anything?"
"Two more rejections. One non-response." He closed the laptop. "I'm starting to think I need a new approach."
"Like what?"
"I don't know yet. But applying to corporate positions clearly isn't working."
She sat beside him. "What else can you do?"
"That's the problem. This is all I know. Business. Strategy. Deals." He leaned back. "I'm thirty years old and I have exactly one skill set. And nobody wants it."
"You have other skills."
"Like what?"
"You're good with Leo. Patient. Kind. You learn fast—you figured out grilled cheese on the first try."
Despite everything, he smiled. "Those aren't marketable skills."
"Maybe they should be."
They sat in tired silence.
"I don't want to go," Alexander said eventually.
"Then stay."
"I—"
"Please. I don't want to be alone right now."
He studied her face. "Okay."
They moved to her bedroom. Lay down fully clothed.
Elena curled into his side. "Tell me something good."
"Leo won at checkers twice."
"He told me seventeen times."
"He's proud of himself."
"He should be."
Elena's hand rested over his heart. "You're going to be okay."
"I don't know."
"That's not comforting."
"You asked for honesty."
"I changed my mind. Lie to me."
He pressed a kiss to her hair. "We're going to be fine. Better than fine. This is all going to work out perfectly."
"Better. Keep going."
"In six months, we'll look back on this and laugh."
"Ambitious."
"In a year, we won't even remember being scared."
"Now you're just making things up."
"You told me to lie."
She tilted her head up. Kissed him softly.
When she pulled back, his eyes were dark.
"Elena, he said softly."
"Don't. Don't think. Just—" She kissed him again.
This time, he kissed back.
It started gentle. Seeking comfort. Connection.
But it shifted. Deepened.
His hand slid into her hair. Her fingers curled into his shirt.
When they broke apart, both breathing harder, he rested his forehead against hers.
"We should stop."
"Shall we?"
Neither of them moved.
"Leo's right down the hall."
"I know."
"And we're both exhausted and emotionally wrecked."
"True."
"So we should—"
She kissed him again.
This time, he didn't suggest stopping.
They stayed like that. Trading lazy kisses in the dark. Holding on like the world might disappear if they let go.
Eventually the kisses slowed… then picked up again.
Elena shifted on top of him, knees bracketing his hips.
Alexander’s hands found her waist immediately. “Hey. You sure?”
She kissed the corner of his mouth. “Very sure.”
He let out a quiet laugh that vibrated against her lips. “We’re terrible at being responsible tonight.”
“Worst parents ever,” she deadpanned, rocking her hips just enough to make him suck in a breath. “Leo’s gonna wake up tomorrow and we’ll be like, ‘Sorry kid, we were busy being inappropriate.’”
“Shhh.” He grinned, even as his fingers tightened on her hips. “You’re gonna get us in trouble.”
“Me? You’re the one getting hard under me.”
“Excuse you, that’s your fault.” He slid his hands up under her tank top, thumbs brushing skin. “You and your evil hips.”
She snorted softly. “Evil hips. That’s a new one.”
“Accurate.” He tugged the tank top up and off in one quick move. Tossed it somewhere. “Come here.”
She leaned down so their foreheads touched. “Make me.”
His voice dropped. “Don’t tempt me, Moreno.”
“Too late.”
She reached between them, palming him through his jeans. He jerked.
“Jesus—warn a guy.”
“Where’s the fun in that?” She popped the button, dragged the zipper down slow. “You were saying?”
“I was saying—” He lifted his hips so she could shove the jeans and boxers down far enough. “—that if you keep teasing I’m not gonna last.”
She wrapped her hand around him, gave one slow stroke. “Then don’t.”
He groaned—quiet, strangled. “You’re mean tonight.”
“You love it.”
“Unfortunately, yeah.” He caught her wrist, brought her hand to his mouth, kissed her palm. “But I want you more than I want to win this argument.”
She smiled against his jaw. “Smooth talker.”
“Learned from the best.”
She sat up enough to shimmy out of her shorts and underwear. He helped—impatient, tugging them down her thighs.
When she settled back over him, the head of him nudged right where she was already slick. They both froze for a second.
Elena exhaled. “Okay. Hi.”
“Hi,” he echoed, voice rough. Eyes locked on hers. “You good?”
“Better than good.” She sank down an inch. Then another. “God.”
He gripped her hips, holding her still for a beat. “Breathe.”
“I am breathing. Mostly.”
“Liar.” He thrust up gently—testing. “Better?”
She bit her lip, nodding. “Much.”
They started moving together—slow at first, careful, aware of every creak of the mattress.
“Shh,” she whispered when the frame gave a tiny squeak.
“You shh,” he shot back, grinning. “You’re the one making those little noises.”
“I am not.”
“You literally just did it again.”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
He did. Deep, messy, swallowing whatever sound she might’ve made next.
She braced one hand on his chest, the other on the headboard. The new angle made him hit deeper.
“Fuck—there,” she breathed.
“Yeah?” He snapped his hips up again—sharper this time. “Right there?”
“Don’t stop.”
“Wasn’t planning to.”
They kept the rhythm quiet but urgent. Every few thrusts he’d murmur something ridiculous against her ear just to make her laugh.
“You’re gonna kill me,” he whispered after one particularly good roll of her hips.
“Good. Then we’ll both go out happy.”
He huffed a laugh. “Romantic.”
“Shut up.”
She reached down between them, fingers finding her clit.
His eyes darkened. “That’s it. Touch yourself for me.”
“Bossy.”
“Effective.”
She circled faster. Her thighs started trembling.
“Alexander—”
“I know.” He slid a hand up to cover her mouth—gentle, thumb brushing her cheek. “I’ve got you. Let go.”
She did.
Quietly. Head dropping to his shoulder, body locking around him in tight pulses.
He followed right after—three more hard thrusts, then he buried his face in her neck, groaning low as he came.
They stayed like that a minute, breathing hard, tangled and sweaty.
Eventually he eased her down beside him, pulling her half on top of his chest.
She pressed a lazy kiss to his collarbone. “We’re disgusting.”
“Happy disgusting,” he corrected.
She laughed under her breath. “Fair.”
He stroked her back in slow circles. “We’re gonna figure tomorrow out, you know.”
“I know.”
“Together.”
“I know.”
“Good.” He kissed the top of her head. “Because I’m not going anywhere.”
She curled tighter against him. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
They lay there in the quiet, listening to each other breathe.
Tomorrow the bills would still be waiting. The roof would still leak. The job search would still suck.
But tonight?
Tonight they had this.
And for right now, it felt like enough.
Wednesday Morning - 6:30 AM
Elena woke to her alarm. Alexander still asleep beside her.
She watched him for a moment. Peaceful. Younger in sleep.
Then reality crashed back.
No job. Dwindling savings. Bills due soon.
She got up carefully. Didn't wake him.
In the kitchen, she made coffee. Started breakfast.
Leo appeared, already in his school clothes.
"Is Dad still here?"
"He's sleeping."
"Good. I want to tell him about my checkers strategy."
"You can tell him when he wakes up."
Alexander emerged ten minutes later, hair disheveled, yesterday's clothes wrinkled.
"Morning."
"Morning." Elena handed him coffee.
Leo ran over. "Dad! I figured out how to win at checkers!"
"Yeah? Tell me."
"You have to think THREE moves ahead. Not just one. Mrs. Chen taught me."
"That's excellent strategy."
"Yes."
After breakfast, they drove Leo to school.
The drop-off was easier today. Leo ran inside without hesitation, already looking for his friend Marcus.
In the car afterward, Alexander checked his phone.
"Three more rejections."
"I'm sorry."
"I'm running out of places to apply."
Elena started her own job search on her phone. Waitress positions. Retail. Customer service.
By noon, she'd applied to eight positions.
Alexander had applied to two more.
Neither of them had heard anything back.
They made lunch. Ate in silence.
The afternoon stretched ahead. Empty. Uncertain.
"We can't keep doing this," Alexander said.
"Doing what?"
"Waiting. Hoping. Applying to jobs that won't hire us."
"What's the alternative?"
He set down his sandwich. "I don't know. But there has to be something else. Something we're not seeing."
"Like what?"
"I don't know yet. But I'll figure it out."
Elena wanted to believe him. To trust that solutions existed.
But wanting didn't make it true.
"We pick up Leo in an hour," she said.
"Okay."
They cleaned up lunch.
Got in the car.
Drove to the community center.
Leo came out chattering about painting and songs and a game called "Duck Duck Goose" that was apparently the best thing ever invented.
They went home.
Made dinner.
Did bath time.
Read stories.
Put Leo to bed.
Normal life. Continuing.
While underneath, everything crumbled.
One day at a time.
One hour at a time.
They'd keep pretending.
For each other.
The fragile hope that maybe—maybe—something would change
before the bills finally won.