“What is going on out there?” Aria groaned as she rolled over in bed. It was almost one week to the day when she first found out she was going to have a baby. The entire week had raced by in a blur. Aria spent her time divided between going to work, finishing up her classes, and feeling sick and overwhelmed. When she wasn’t heaving up every last thing she ate, she was worried about how she was going to raise a child all on her own. So, when she awoke on Saturday morning, the one morning she was going to get to sleep in, to the sound of someone fiddling with her doorknob, she was a bit outraged.
Reluctantly, Aria tossed the covers off, hopped out of bed, and strode down the hall to find out who was making all that racket just outside her door. “Can I help you?” Aria asked irritably, as she swung her door open wide.
Instantly, she wished she had stayed in bed. Standing out in the hall was none other than Landen. It had been nearly three months since she’d last laid eyes on him. His red hair, which he always wore in a spikey style, was now just a little bit longer. His green eyes looked crisper, as he had chosen not to wear his glasses that morning. But, besides those two features being a little different, nothing about Landen had changed. He was even wearing the blue and grey rain jacket.
Aria had the door open at arm’s length, and she stared at Landen. “What do you want?” she asked through clenched teeth.
“You changed the door locks?” Landen said simultaneously. Aria glanced down at his hand then, and she noted that he was holding onto a set of keys. That explained the noises he’d been making a few moments ago. He was trying to use his key to get into the apartment, but as she had changed the locks just days after she kicked him out, he was unable to do so.
“I did,” Aria said, her voice steely.
“But how was I supposed to get in?” Landen asked, sounding completely bewildered.
Aria snorted. “You weren’t supposed to get in.”
Landen’s lower lip protruded a little, and he slowly tucked his keys back into his pocket. He stood out there in the hallway and shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the next. “I know things haven’t been great between us, Aria, but I didn’t think you’d lock me out.”
“You just expected me to let you in then?” Aria questioned. She could feel the heat rising in her chest. Over the last few days, this had not been a good sign. Any time she got even a little agitated, she suffered through a bout of morning sickness. She wasn’t sure how her queasiness connected to her temper, but she knew it was best to keep it in check. She didn’t want to have to go racing for the toilet bowl just now. She clenched and then unclenched her fists, allowing herself a deep, slow inhale through her nose. Then, she moved away from the door, so she was no longer blocking it. “Come in,” Aria said softly.
Landen glanced up at her as if she might be joking, so she gave him an encouraging nod. “Thanks, Aria,” Landen said meekly, ducking his head as he crossed the threshold. He took off his coat and laid it across the beige couch. Aria watched him, and she found the gesture irritated her. He was acting as if nothing had changed, and that simply wasn’t the case.
“Landen,” Aria started, and she heard the harsh way she ground out his name. She slowed herself with another quick inhale. Then, she tried again. “Landen, it’s early. Why are you here?”
Landen glanced around the apartment. “I came to congratulate you.”
“Congratulate me?” Aria repeated because she needed a moment to absorb his words. Could it be possible that Landen somehow knew she was pregnant? No, the only person she’d told was Joan, and she had sworn her closest friend to secrecy.
“Right…isn’t it normal to congratulate someone after they’ve graduated with their master’s degree?” Landen asked, furrowing his brow as though he were confused now.
“Yes,” Aria replied eagerly. She clapped her hands together. “Of course. You came to congratulate me on earning my degree.”
Landen gave her an appraising look. Aria had rolled out of bed so quickly, she was still wearing just her pajamas, a thin cotton nightshirt, and a scandalously short pair of boxer shorts. Suddenly, she felt rather naked in his presence, so she moved to the couch and plucked a quilt off the back of it. She wrapped it around her shoulders. Even after she was covered, he continued staring at her. “I knew that you took your finals earlier in the week, so I figured you’d probably be celebrating by now.”
“This early in the morning?” Aria asked. She turned to look out the apartment window. They were on the third floor, and no matter what time of year it was, if the sun was shining early in the morning, it was glinting through that window. True to form, the cheerful sunshine was spilling through the window and casting a beam of light onto the coffee table.
Landen shrugged. “I wanted to catch you before all the festivities began.”
“Sure,” Aria replied, not quite believing that story. She moved so that she was positioned right in front of the sofa, and then she plopped heavily onto the cushions, feeling them poof up around her bottom comfortably.
Landen stopped standing in the doorway. He closed the door behind him and then moved into the living room. He perched on the edge of the couch, not too close to Aria. “Why did you change the locks?” Landen asked, clearly unable to let that go.
Aria tilted her head and looked at him out of the corner of her eye. “I changed the locks because I didn’t want you to be able to come back in here any time you pleased.”
“Really? That’s it?” Landen replied, his green eyes looking disheartened.
“Is there any better reason?” Aria answered his question with a question. She felt that he was being a bit thick-headed. The last time they’d spoken, she’d told him she didn’t want to see him ever again. Of course, she’d changed the locks. She didn’t want a man she no longer trusted to have open access to her apartment anytime he pleased.
“Aria,” Landen said in the voice he used when he was patronizing her. This made the tiny hairs on her arms bristle now. “What if I wanted to see you? What if we needed to talk?”
“You could knock on the door, and I would open it, just like I do for every other stranger who comes to my apartment,” Aria snapped forcefully.
“Stranger?” Landen echoed in a strangled voice. “I’m not a stranger, Aria. I lived here…with you…for two years.”
“Yeah, well, when I came home and found you in the shower with another woman, I suddenly felt as though maybe I’d never known you at all,” Aria said, her tone acidic.
Landen was clearly stung by her words. His shoulders slumped and he lowered his gaze so he was no longer meeting her eyes. “I told you I was sorry about that. I wanted to explain everything to you months ago, but you…”
“Are you still dating the shampoo queen of the northwest?” Aria interrupted. She couldn’t bear to hear Landen try to go over that day one more time. Every time she recalled just how it felt to open that bathroom door and realize someone else was in there, it made her anger flare. She felt betrayed by his actions, and no matter how he explained it, Aria was unable to look at it any other way.
Landen grunted, “Yes.”
“Then I think your work here is done,” Aria said waspishly as she rose from the couch. She clutched the quilt tighter around her shoulders and moved a step closer to Landen. From this angle, she was now looking down on him. “I appreciate you stopping by to congratulate me. You know how hard I worked to obtain that degree, and it shows a bit of thoughtfulness for you to remember that I was finishing up those classes this week. So, thank you for popping in, but I think it’s time you leave now.”
She moved beyond him then and walked toward the kitchen. Since she had learned she was pregnant, Aria had weaned herself off drinking coffee, but she craved a cup now. Her hands instinctively went to the cupboard where she kept her morning joe, but she had to pull back to stop herself from indulging.
Landen stood from where he had been sitting on the arm of the couch and came around the kitchen archway. He leaned against it and observed her movements.
“What now?” Aria asked, turning to look him in the eye.
His green eyes were watching her closely, and she wondered what exactly he was seeing. “There’s something different about you today,” Landen said at length. He tipped his chin sideways and continued gazing at her. “You seem more irritable than usual.”
Aria snorted, “Maybe that’s because my cheating ex-boyfriend was trying to break into my apartment this morning.”
“I wasn’t trying to…” Landen began, but Aria cut him off with a dismissive wave of her hand.
“Enough, Landen. I told you I appreciate you coming over to congratulate me. Can you just leave now?” Aria hated the whine that popped into her voice. She wanted to be strong. She wanted to be able to see Landen and not feel like he had ripped her entire world apart. But, neither of those things was true. For in this moment, even though Aria knew unequivocally that she didn’t love Landen anymore and she certainly didn’t want to have him come back into her life, she thought if he asked, she might let him stay.
It was the absolute worst sort of weakness because Aria wouldn’t want Landen to be with her just because she was feeling lost and alone. She would want him to be by her side because he loved her, and she learned to love him again. Her heart ached as she thought about reaching out and taking his hand in her own. She could just squeeze it in the old familiar way, and maybe that would bring them back together. Aria was tempted by this thought. She didn’t want to be alone. She didn’t want to raise a baby by herself. She had just loosened her grip on the quilt and extended her hand toward Landen when he stopped slouching against the doorframe. He stood up straight and cast his eyes about the kitchen. They fell on a stack of mail that was piled high on the kitchen countertop.
“Is some of that mine?” Landen asked, nodding toward the stack of envelopes and magazines. Aria shrugged. Her eyes glossed over the pile.
“Probably. I would have thought you would have changed your address by now, but for some reason, I keep getting your mail.”
“I’m surprised you haven’t started throwing it out,” Landen said as he reached toward the stack. He began rifling through the advertisements and the envelopes that were filled with junk. His eyes flashed quickly as he plucked a few of the envelopes from the stack and placed them off to the side.
“I haven’t really had time to sort through my own mail, let alone go through yours,” Aria answered in an off-hand manner. And that was the truth. She hadn’t been hanging onto Landen’s mail, hoping that a day like today would arrive and he would show up asking for it. Rather, she’d been so preoccupied with her own life that she really had no time for things that were this simplistic. “I probably would have tossed it all in the trash eventually, so I guess it’s a good thing you came to collect it.” Aria gave Landen a small smile, but he didn’t see it. His head was bent over an envelope. His eyes wrinkled at the corners as he peered at the return address.
“Aria, this letter says it’s from our—I mean, your landlord.”
“Okay,” Aria said casually. “Maybe they’re fixing the pipes or something and are obligated to let us know.”
Landen gave her a dubious look over the top of the envelope and then ripped it open. His eyes coasted over the words quickly, and as he read, his mouth fell open in surprise. “Aria, this letter says the rent hasn’t been paid properly for the last two months.”
Aria’s cheeks burned a bright red instantly. She snatched the letter from Landen’s hands and read it through quickly on her own. He was telling the truth. The landlord claimed that the last two checks she’d sent him both bounced. Aria knew this was more than a claim…it was factual. She kept meticulous account records, and she knew that she had been unable to make rent the last two months. The scarlet blush that had flooded her face continued to heat her cheeks. She kept her eyes fixed on the letter, unable to let herself look up at Landen.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were in trouble? I would have helped you pay the rent,” Landen said, a tone of accusation coloring his voice.
“I’m not in trouble,” Aria replied, lifting her chin defiantly.
“Yes, you are,” Landen said, pointing to the letter that was still in Aria’s hand. “You owe our landlord a large sum of money. If you don’t start paying him soon, he will evict you.”
Aria took a deep swallow of air. Then, she squared her shoulders. “I don’t really see how this is any of your concern.”
“It’s my concern because they mailed me a letter. My name is still on the lease, too, and if you are delinquent in paying the bill…” Landen stopped talking and looked up at the ceiling. “I’m just saying that your inability to pay the bills on time could impact us both negatively.”
“So, this is all my fault?” Aria asked incredulously.
“I’m not saying that, but if you needed help, you should have asked for it,” Landen returned, his own tone now rising in exasperation.
Aria narrowed her eyes at him. “I don’t need your help, and I don’t want your help. I will get that rent money, and everything will be just fine.”
Landen scoffed. “How? How do you expect to do that, Aria? According to this letter, you have until the end of the month to submit three rent checks, the two from before and the one for this month. How are you going to come up with that kind of money?”
“It’s none of your concern,” Aria said flatly, her eyes glinting as she spoke.
“It is my concern. You’re my concern…” Landen replied, and the anger that had been there just moments before evaporated. He huffed out a heavy sigh, and as he did, his whole being seemed to deflate. “I don’t want to argue with you, Aria. I want to help you.”
“I don’t need your help,” Aria responded, feeling the anger drain from her words as well. “I have an interview with Devry Media Conglomerate in two days. If I get that job, I’ll have plenty of money. I’ll never have to worry about paying my rent on time ever again.”
“Devry Media?” Landen asked, his tone suddenly peeked with interest. “How’d you manage to snag an interview there?”
Aria gave him a wry smile. “Dr. Werner set it up for me.”
Landen chuckled. “Good ol’ Dr. Werner. The best thing that ever happened to you was when you took his class during your freshman year.”
“That’s the way I see it,” Aria said. She thought now of her favorite professor. When she was just eighteen years old and not sure what she wanted to do with the rest of her life, she happened to sign up for Dr. Werner’s Intro to Marketing class. The wizened little old man came into class that very first day bubbling with excitement. While Aria didn’t know much about marketing, she found herself drawn to the professor and his effervescent attitude. She did so well in that introductory course that he reached out to her personally and encouraged her to pursue it as a career. Over the years, she met with Dr. Werner regularly, and he was not only responsible for pushing her into the M.B.A. program she’d just finished, but he also helped her get various internships along the way. Even now, he was still standing in her corner. He had arranged for Aria to interview with Devry Media Conglomerate, and she couldn’t be more grateful for the opportunity.
Landen glanced at the letter Aria was still clutching. “You sure you don’t need my help then?”
“I’ve got it covered,” Aria replied.
“Okay, but if for some reason, you don’t get the job, promise you’ll give me a call,” Landen said. He took a step backward out of the kitchen, and he started to walk through the living room toward the front door.
“Why would I do that?” Aria asked.
Landen tipped his head and gave her a sympathetic look. “If you don’t get the job, then you’ll need someone to help you pay the rent.”
“Then let’s just hope I get the job,” Aria replied crisply. Landen stood next to the door, gazing at her, and she felt in her bones that he wanted to say something more. He appraised her for far too long, and in that excruciating moment, her mind wandered. She wondered what he was thinking and why he was hesitant to leave. She even considered offering to make him breakfast, but before she could do or say anything else, he nodded firmly and reached for the door handle.
“May I just make one suggestion?” Landen asked, looking at Aria so thoughtfully that his eyes had grown to the size of dinner plates.
“Of course,” Aria shrugged.
“Wear the red suit.”
“The red suit?” Aria questioned, a small smile playing on her lips.
“The red suit will get you the job. And…” Landen said slowly, “I do hope you get the job, Aria. I hope you get everything you want,” Landen said softly. Then, without waiting for her to reply, he opened the door and exited out into the hallway.
“Everything I want…” Aria repeated, her hand floating to her stomach, “and then some.”