Chapter 13

JOHNNY

Happiness, sadness, and guilt were the prevailing feelings inside me. I am happy because knowing that I will have a daughter is something that fills my soul with unexplained joy. Sad because I know I won't be with her as much as I would like to, and guilty for everything I have done to Laura, indirectly affecting my baby.

In these past four months, many things have happened that have turned my life upside down, and undoubtedly, the most influential moments were the day Laura came into my life. Her arrival allowed me to see my daughter for the first time and hear her heartbeat.

That day, after buying the vitamins and other things Claudia had prescribed for her, I left Laura at her house and went back to my apartment. Once there, as I took off my suit jacket and threw it on the couch, I heard something plastic falling from it and landing on the floor.

I picked it up and saw that it was the CD that Ximena had given me, the one where supposedly my child's heartbeats were recorded. I walked towards my room with it in my hand, placed it in the CD player of my computer, and pressed Play.

A faint sound of heartbeats started playing, and my breath caught. They were the heartbeats of my daughter!

From that moment on, something in my chest grew, and I knew that this baby would be my downfall, that I would love this child so much that it would be my punishment. Now that I know it will be a girl, I am fully aware of it. From the very moment I heard her heart beating, I loved her.

After listening to her heartbeats, which to me sounded like melodies, I took the CD and put it in a box where there was still that piece of plastic Laura had left on the table at her family's house, the day she confessed to me that my greatest mistake and adoration was on the way.

In addition to the love that grew every day towards my daughter, I realized something that weighed even more heavily on me than everything I had been through.

I am crazy about Laura.

Three months ago, I realized that she is not who I thought she was when I first met her. She is not the typical youngest, spoiled and pampered daughter. She is a woman worth it, and I know she is looking for a way to improve herself and has something in mind. I still don't know what it is, but I know she will tell me at some point.

I don't know how I fell in love with her; it just happened, and when I realized it, it was already too late. All I know is that suddenly I wanted those days of the week when I would visit her to last longer, to be there every day. That's what I wanted, but I couldn't have it.

When I found out she was twenty-four, it surprised me. I thought she was younger. Her face and the innocence in her eyes made me believe that.

On the other hand, Irina thinks I have a lover. She says I'm not the same as before, and I agree with her. It's been three months since I fell in love with Laura, and for three months, being with Irina has become suffocating and unbearable.

Irina is the eldest daughter of my father's majority partner in the company. We have been engaged for four years, with the sole purpose of owning the entire company once her father retires, as Irina will inherit those shares. I won't deny that at first, the relationship was fun, but it became routine and tested my patience. I started sleeping with any woman I liked who crossed my path.

And it's even more stressful for me to be with her now that I know and is clear about my feelings for the mother of my child.

But I can't be with her. That would anger my father, and I can't do that. I can't disappoint him, especially when he has been on the verge of death because of me. I simply can't...

"Johnny... you don't have to do this. If you want, I can come alone another day," Laura's words snap me out of my reverie.

"Don't worry, I want to do this," I let her know as I enter the underground parking lot of the mall. "I want to buy many things for my daughter," I add, looking into her beautiful green eyes that captivated me from the first moment I saw them.

I hope my daughter has her eyes...

She looks at me and then nods, avoiding my gaze. It bothers me that she does that. I park the car in an available spot and get out, seconds later hearing the other door being opened and then closed. I walk quickly, feeling her hurried steps behind me. I am irritated because it seems like she's avoiding me, rejecting me.

"Johnny!" she shouts from behind, "Don't walk so fast! It's not you who's pregnant," she says afterward, making me stop abruptly. I turn around, and she comes towards me, out of breath.

She looks beautiful with her protruding belly, where my baby is growing. She's just two steps away from reaching me when one of her heels decides to fail her. I rush to her immediately and hold her by the waist before she falls to the ground.

"I've told you that you shouldn't be wearing those shoes anymore, Laura. What would have happened if I wasn't around? You could have gotten hurt!" I scold her, still holding her waist, and she lifts her gaze to meet my eyes.

She's so petite that even with such high heels, she couldn't surpass me in height.

"This wouldn't have happened if you weren't practically running, leaving me behind," she replies, a bit angry, as she looks into my eyes, and her breath brushes against my face.

This time, I don't hold back. I have been restraining myself for over three months, holding back the desire to kiss her again, to have her like that night. And her proximity, her eyes locked with mine, and her breath brushing my mouth, it's the last straw.

So without further ado, I lean in and kiss her.