Chapter 79 The Love I Couldn't Confess
A strangled sob tore its way out of Rufus's throat, raw and broken, as if it had been caged there for years.
He clutched the warped piece of plastic to his chest like it was the last fragment of a world that had already burned away. His body curved in on itself, folding into a tight arc, his forehead pressing into the cold, gritty earth. Every muscle trembled under the weight of something too heavy to name.
He wanted to cry—God, he wanted to—but no sound came. Only the ragged, tearing gasp of air echoed in the icy dawn, each breath scraping against his lungs like shards of glass. Blood, dark and thick, seeped between his fingers, mingling with soot and ash before dripping onto the scorched ground.
High above, suspended in the air like a shadow without a source, Cecilia's spirit watched him.
She looked at Rufus—the man who had destroyed her life—and saw him now, kneeling in the wreckage, broken beyond recognition.
Finally, he got a taste of it—the kind of hollow that carves you out from the inside, leaving nothing but a raw, aching void. Every breath, a fresh sentence handed down by some merciless judge. 'About time,' she thought.At last, he tastes it.
The hollowing of the heart.
The agony that turns breathing into torture.
Good.
A soul shouldn't feel anymore. Emotions were supposed to burn away with the body. But now, watching this belated confession unfold before her, Cecilia felt something sharp twist inside her. It was bitter, almost sweet in its cruelty.
It was laughable.
Like a blazing fire brought to a dying man in the dead of winter—too late, too useless.
Serves him right.
The shriek of tires shattered the stillness.
A red sports car rolled to a stop not far away. The door swung open, and Blair stepped out, draped in high-end designer clothes that looked absurd against the backdrop of ruin. Her heels sank into the uneven ground as she hurried forward, each step a careful dance between urgency and elegance.
"Rufus!"
She stopped just short of the police tape, her face painted with deep alarm and sorrow.
"I came as soon as I heard… My God, what happened? Are you hurt?"
Her performance was flawless. Every gesture radiated concern, every word carried the weight of devotion. Anyone watching would have called her a woman of rare loyalty.
But Rufus didn't move. He didn't even lift his head.
He stayed there, kneeling, as if the rubble had claimed him as part of itself.
Blair's gaze darted between the charred skeleton of the building and Rufus's hollow, wrecked expression. The truth hit her like a slap.
Cecilia was dead.
Dead beyond doubt.
A flicker of satisfaction crossed Blair's eyes, but it was quickly smothered beneath a mask of deeper concern.
"Rufus, the ground is freezing. You shouldn't be here like this."
She stepped around the tape with practiced grace, moving toward him as though approaching a wounded animal. Her hand reached for his shoulder.
"She's gone. You can't keep destroying yourself like this."
Her fingers had barely brushed him when Rufus's arm lashed out.
The force of it sent her stumbling back, her scream cutting through the air. Her heel twisted beneath her, and she crashed into the dirt, the expensive fabric of her outfit instantly stained with filth.
"Rufus, you…" She sat there, stunned, anger and disbelief warring in her voice. She had never imagined he would treat her like this.
Slowly, Rufus raised his head.
His face was a ruin—smeared with soot and blood—but his eyes burned a violent, unholy red. He didn't look at Blair. His gaze was fixed on the skeletal remains of the loft.
"She used to say…" His voice was rough, shredded by grief, each word dragging through him like barbed wire. "She used to tell me… stay away from you."
The sound of Cecilia's name made Blair's chest tighten with rage. She hated the way Cecilia had always looked at her, as if she could see straight through her. And she hated even more that Rufus, now, would speak of her at all.
Blair scrambled to her feet, ignoring the dirt clinging to her clothes. She closed the distance between them, her voice sharpening to a blade.
"She's dead, Rufus! Do you hear me? That woman is gone! You need to wake up!"
"You should be looking at me. I'm the one standing in front of you now. We can be together—no one will ever come between us again!"
Rufus's eyes finally shifted from the ruins to her face.
It was a look that could hollow out a soul—filled with bottomless regret, consuming grief, and a self-hatred so deep it seemed to rot him from the inside.
"Together?" he repeated, the word curling into something like a laugh. The sound was low, broken, and somehow more devastating than any sob.
"Blair… I was wrong.
"The truth is, the only person I've ever loved—ever—was Cecilia.
"It was my fault. I didn't see it. I pushed her away. I made her suffer. I killed her.
"If I could bring her back, I'd die right here, right now. I'd trade my life for hers without a second thought. Do you understand me?"
His final words erupted in a roar, draining the last of his strength. He doubled over, coughing violently, his body swaying as though it might collapse.
Blair froze.
Why?
Why, after all the years she had invested—after all the patience, the careful manipulation, even the cruelty that had driven Cecilia to her death—why was this the moment she had waited for? A confession… but not to her.
Humiliation and fury surged through her.
"No… No, I don't accept this!" Her voice cracked into a scream, tears streaking down her face, cutting through the dirt and makeup in jagged lines.
"And what about me, Rufus? What was I to you? You promised me… you promised you'd take care of me for the rest of my life!"
She began to list the moments she had hoarded like treasures.
"When I was sick, you stayed by my hospital bed for three days and nights!
"You took me to every gala, introduced me to all your friends! You bought me the jewelry and paintings I wanted!
"Rufus, look at me!"
She lunged forward, gripping his arms with both hands, shaking him hard.
"You gave me everything she ever dreamed of! How is that not love?"
Rufus let her shake him, his gaze drifting past her, into the empty air, as if speaking to someone only he could see.
His voice was calm now—dead calm.
"It wasn't love.
"None of it was. I was good to you, but that doesn't mean I loved you.
"The only person I've ever loved is Cecilia. And she… she loved me too."
"Why? Why did this happen? We were supposed to be together. There has to be a way. She can't just leave me like this…"
"And the child…" His voice broke. His eyes shut tight, a single streak of blood-tinged tear cutting down his cheek, merging with the grime.
"That was my greatest sin. My most unforgivable crime."
His eyes snapped open. He shoved Blair back, pointing at her, every word dripping venom.
"Blair, the things you call love… they were nothing.
"I was blind. I was a fool. Fuck you. I was lying to myself.
"I used duty and guilt to hide from the truth—that I loved her, and I kept hurting her because I was too much of a coward to admit it.
"I missed her—my only love—and I let her slip away.
"Are you happy now?"