Chapter 35 I don't want to hurt her
DASHIELL
What the hell was I supposed to do? How do I rectify the damned situation???
Biting the cap of my pen, I glanced up as my secretary walked into the office.
"You said she would back down when I pushed her to a corner, but that wasn't what happened! There was no way for me to save her like a knight in shining armour when she was fully prepared!" I complained, my gaze fixed on her.
Back when I asked Nova to give her opinion on the new project we were discussing, I figured she would be scared and unprepared. I was ready to swoop in and save the day, so she would look at me as a saviour, not an enemy. Who knows, it might have been enough to make her see me as more than the nuisance she thinks I am. However, things didn't go the way I planned it.
"I'm not at fault here, sir," Bridget said, walking over to my table. "I believe Miss Nova isn't like the others who you will easily help. I thought it would be easygoing with that approach, but that doesn't seem to work at all. I trust we will have to change our tactics."
"To what?" I was getting impatient. My goal was to get Nova to like me, not hate me. She didn't seem happy when she stormed out of the boardroom today, and I feared going into her office. She looked like she would devour me should I step into her office, which was why I didn't go over there when I took off.
After ordering my employees to go with the colour she suggested, I left, asking Bridget to meet me in my office so she could tackle this together. I needed her help more than ever, to get my ex-wife
back.
Impatiently tapping my index finger on my desk, I watched her, waiting for her to come up with yet another manner of approach. One that will help me.
"Forgive me for this question, sir, but are you still with Miss Lilith?" She asked, her eyes filled with fear. I could tell she didn't wish to ask the question but had to.
I frowned at the question, my index finger frozen in the air as I stared at her. I didn't expect the question, which was why I was stunned by it.
"Yes," I replied after a brief moment of deliberation, seeing no reason not to answer her question. "Is there anything wrong with that?"
"This won't work." She sat on the chair opposite me and placed the files she came in with, on the table. I ignored her, knowing I still needed to get some wise and crazy ideas from her if I wished to take Nova back. "You can't be with two of them, can you?"
"Can't I?" I tilted my head to the side, not understanding what being with the two of them had to do with getting Nova back. "Is there anything unethical with it?"
She didn't respond at first, though her expression said it all. I knew she thought I was greedy because of my reply. She could hardly conceal her thoughts as she stared hard at her joined hands. "Bridget? What's wrong?" I asked when I didn't get a response from her.
"This won't work. I doubt Miss Nova will wish to be with you if you are still with Miss Lilith. You have got to choose who you want to be with. Miss Nova or Miss Lilith."
I placed my hand under my jaw at her words, my gaze fixed on her black ones. The decision wasn't a tough one to make, mind you. However, I still wasn't ready to let Lilith go. She was the one who stayed by my side all these years. She took care of me when I was at my lowest. Putting her down at the moment was a difficult situation.
As for Nova, I have no desire to let go. She was still my wife, the one I pledged to stay with for the rest of our lives.
I know I would always pick Nova should it get to that point, a decision I wouldn't have taken five years ago. Back then, I loved Lilith so much that I wouldn't think twice about divorcing Nova. However, her absence made me realize how much I yearned for her. Most times, I caught myself comparing Lilith to her, something I was ashamed of owning up to.
"So? Which one do you want? Miss Nova or Miss Lilith?" Bridget's voice filtered into my reflections.
"I will have to think about it. Can you give me some time?" I asked after a moment of silence, as I resumed my earliest tapping on the desk.
"Of course. Take your time, sir." Smiling at me, she got up from the chair and walked out of the room, leaving me to my thoughts.
With Bridget gone, I focused my gaze on my window, at the flowers on each side. Unlike Nova's office with a wall-to-ceiling window, mine had the normal size because I didn't want to be distracted. Sighing, I pulled up from my chair and walked over to the window, where I leaned as my thoughts returned to Bridget's words. I knew, even before she asked that there would be a time I would get to choose. However, I didn't realize it would be this early.
Why can't I be given some time to think of how to let Lilith know of this without hurting her? I know undoubtedly that it would hurt her. She had been waiting for me to propose to her all these years, while I tried to find ways to go around it, buying more time while deceiving her with promises I knew I wouldn't be able to fulfil. "Dashiell, you are a fucking bastard," I gritted out in annoyance. I was a selfish bastard, just like Nova would always say.