Jasmine and sea blew on morning air through open balcony doors, and I felt like it was very much needed to cleanse the toxic feeling in my system. I was in Caspian's arms, the softness of the bed embracing us and the first unreal dawn light brushing against the curtains. I closed my eyes and said to myself that nothing could penetrate the impenetrable bond which wrapped around us—our home, our home built from love and sweat and shared battles.
And my phone had been ringing on the bedside table, a bitter interruption to the silence. I'd leaned over Caspian's broad and secure chest to answer it, my hand trembling as I saw the name on the screen. Nathaniel Carter's name flashed on the screen. My heart was pounding so hard that I thought he could hear it.
"You can't have her without a fight, Cas. I'll never let her go. I'd die before she's taken away from me."
I breathed in deep. I blinked angry tears out of my eyes. “How does he keep sending texts after I have him blocked.” I whispered angrily.
Caspian scooted over beside me. His arm crept a little more around my waist. I tossed the phone over on its back and pushed it into the pillow. He rolled onto his side, his face contorted with worry.
"Lily?" he whispered, his voice still weighted with sleep.
I faked being calm in my voice. "Nothing." I said quickly, in order not to arouse his suspicion.
He leaned in, pushing a strand of hair from my forehead. "You look like you have just seen a ghost. You look really shook and it bothers me"
I swallowed. "Just. nightmares."
He dropped it, for now, but I could sense tension creep into his shoulders. I knew he'd picked up the truth: Nathaniel returned, and the danger that arose out of physical harm—broken doors, burned eyes—to so much more. The games. I could not go back to sleep as the text had taken every atom of sleep away from my eyes. I sat upright thinking about my choices so far. I watched Caspian as he snored softly and I smiled a little as I saw his innocence as he slept. My heart kept telling me that this man truly loved me.
Later that morning, we had been up at first light working in the garden, removing weeds from the fall-planted bed of roses. We usually used this activity as way for for the both of us to relieve stress, it was our own little way of exercising. The earth fell apart in my hands, petal fine, their color a rich red, no avoiding the phone in my pocket, the sensation a bitter reminder of the absoluteness of the message: I'll never give in to his gimmicks.
Caspian sliced along beside me, his knife slicing deep into the soil as if he was fighting his enemies. His black eyes gleamed up into mine whenever he thought I was looking at him—cunning, guarded. I resented the way Nathaniel had entered my mind so far. I loved Caspian ;but I was only remembering my feelings for Nathaniel, bitter memories of a past I'd struggled to keep hidden, memories of the good times we shared together.
"Lily," Caspian finally managed to say at last, his voice low. He placed the shears on the table and turned to me completely, sunlight illuminating dark hair. "What is it?"
I shivered on a breath. "He sent a message."
Caspian's brow furrowed. "Again? I thought you said you blocked his number. What did he say?"
I closed my eyes, remembering the words. "He said he'd never let me go… that he'd die first before losing me."
The phrase hit me like a stone as I said it to Caspian as he looked at me thoughtfully. In the past, those words might have thrilled me with the drama, the devotion. But now, they only echoed with damage: the nights of insecurity, the tears I’d shed, the promises he’d broken. I felt like I was betraying Caspian by even giving this a thought. I felt angry at myself for failing to keep my emotions in check.
Caspian's expression hardened into a line. He extended his hand for mine, his thumb tracing gentle arcs over my knuckles. "Come inside," he said at last. His voice was deep and authoritative. I nodded, allowing him to lead me through the kitchen, the house throbbing around us with thick silence.
Caspian led me into In the silence of the magnificent library . Caspian shut the door behind us and placed my phone on the table. He stepped back from the window seat and walked slowly toward me, in short calculated steps. His stern face met mine in an action that was both calming and ominous.
He had his hand on my shoulder and massaged it gently. "I talked to him," he whispered. "He still thinks he has a chance to get you back, get you away from me.".
I glared at the phone, my stomach clenching. "He does."
Caspian's gaze jerked to mine. "He said he'd die before he'd lose you?."
I nodded, my eyes stinging with tears. "He said that?."
Caspian took a deep breath, his shoulders broad and muscle-defined. "And what do you have to say to that, about everything?"
I swallowed hard. "I say… even though he knows the secret to my heart, he does not get to decide things about my heart anymore."
His grave face softened for a moment to reveal something I already knew in every fiber of my being—he had faith in me. He covered my hands with his. "Good."
He looked at my facial structure for a moment, gazing into my features. "I want you to say it, though, Lily. Lily, are you really mine?"
Tears poured down my face—tears of relief, terror, plain gratitude. I nodded. "Yes, Caspian. I'm yours."
He wrapped me in his arms, his mouth against the crown of my head. "Promise me," he whispered into my hair, "no matter what he says or does, you'll remember that."
I closed my eyes and clung to his waist. "I promise."