Sleep evaded me.
I reclined on the king-size bed, Caspian-scented silk sheets enfolding me, my heart pounding so hard that I could have sworn I heard it ringing in the villa's brightness. The room was shadowy and dark, except for the otherworldly light of the moon streaming through doors on the balcony, casting slabs of silver on the marble floor. But even the far-off rumble of the outside world could not drown out the voice of the man inside my mind.
"Once you're in Caspian Grey's world, you may find it isn't quite so easy to just walk away."
I tried to close my eyes as tight as possible, attempting to get the words out of my mind, but they clung to me like a second skin. Every time I blinked, his face appeared in my eyes— the cold, killing Caspian, the Caspian who had sworn killing in a hoarse voice. A part of him that I never even knew he possessed. Or maybe I did, and I'd been so caught up in the way he felt about me that I hadn't noticed the storm building inside him.
I rolled onto my side, my hand feeling the cold of the duvet I laid on waiting for Caspian to go back to sleep. But he hadn't returned to bed. I knew that because I waited. For hours, I heard every creak, every muffled sound of his footsteps.
Nothing.
I couldn't wait any longer.
I slid out of the bed, bare feet and clinging to the chill of the floor as I slid out of the room. The villa was utterly still, the shadows crawling up the corridors like some living entity. My heart was racing as I slid to the great study, the one place I could think that he would be.
I found him there, illuminated by the window, scotch in his hand loosely held.
He didn't respond when I entered. Didn't even turn and glance at me.
"Caspian," I murmured, my voice barely capable of breaching the waves of his thoughts .
There was no response.
I moved closer, my chest beating fast, and reached out my hand to lay on him — but when my skin touched him over his arm, he rolled onto the side away from me as if my touch hurt him, as if keeping hold was something that burned.
I remained stationary. "Talk to me."
"There is nothing to talk about," he replied, swallowing a contemplative swig of scotch.
"You liar."
My throat constricted. "I saw you," I told him. "The way you looked at him. That was not business. That was personal."
It took Caspian a long while to turn to me again, and the sheer power of his gaze sent me back. His eyes were blazing, burning with some black and stubborn fire, his jaw set, the muscles along the lines of his neck tensed with effort.
"You need to go back to bed, Lily," he growled, his voice a harsh, menacing rasp.
"No." I clenched my teeth, shivering in my body, but not going to acquiesce. "I'm already in this mess, Caspian. Can't you see? I'm already here, in your world, whether you want me in it or not. And if you do not tell me, I'll have to find out for myself."
His glass broke on the desk, and he was bending over me, standing, his face in my face, sweating so that beads dripped from him. His hand flashed out, his fingers closing around the side of my throat, not holding, but pinning me there.
"You don't know what you're saying," he snarled, his voice a clenched snarl.
"Then tell me." I huffed my chest rising and falling quickly, my heart pounding against the shape of his hand. "Make me understand."
Caspian's eyes dropped to mine, resolute, and for a moment I wished he'd kiss me. But he swore, soft and brief, and paced the room, like an animal wild in a cage that had been contained there.
"If you just keep on going like that, you're going to hurt yourself," he growled, running his hand through his hair.
I followed him, my own bare feet silent on the floor. "I already have," I said. "Because I'm watching you lose your temper, and you won't even let me try to make it right."
He turned so fast that I nearly collided into his chest. He wrapped me in his arms around the waist, his hands digging deep into my body as he drew me close to himself, our bodies crushed together.
Are you trying to say that you need me to explain to you what is happening? "His mouth on mine, his breath a killing whisper." "I can't even help myself around you Lily." With every second you spend with me here, I am at the mercy of my own desires. I do not think. I cannot breathe.".
And if something were to happen to you—" His voice cracked, and the sound killed me. "If he touches you, I'd burn the world to ashes to keep it from happening."
I swallowed a sob, my tears scalding the backs of my eyes. "Then let me stay. Let me choose you, Caspian."
He was shaking. I could see that — the shake of his hands, the rigidity in his body.
"I can't," he moaned, the words at best half-hearted.
"Yes, you can," I panted, standing up onto my toes to push my forehead against his. "Just stop pushing me away."
He didn't kiss me. Not yet, anyway.
He just stood there, breathing in the scent of me as if he was about to lose the very memory of my existence. And then, hesitantly, as if he was granting himself permission, his lips against mine.
The kiss felt forced.
It was hard and desperate and raw all at once — a collision of teeth and gasps, of fingers raking at flesh and hair ripped out in fists. He kissed me like he hated that he wanted me, like he couldn't live without me, and when he finally broke me from his kiss, we were both breathless.
But that fleeting moment of calm didn't last.
A thud against the front door, as if it had been shot.
Caspian's entire body wound up tight, tensing, and I knew it — the moment when the darkness had him. He pushed me aside in the doorway, hand on my hip, back as firm as plate armor.
I listened to the creak of the door opening and a gentle rustling sound, like papers shuffling.
Caspian disappeared down the corridor, and when he returned, his hand was around a black envelope.
I traced the line of his face as he tore it open, the flash of firelight off the hard planes of his jaw.
His eyes swept over the contents, and whatever he say made him startled.
He crumpled the paper in his fist, gasping and falling back like he'd run a marathon.
"What is it?" I screamed, horror coiling in my stomach like smoke.
He didn't reply.
But he didn't have to.
For when his fingers unwound, the piece of crumpled paper fell on the floor, and on it in clear ink-black letters were the words that chilled my blood to ice.
**I SEE YOU, LILY.**