I tried to pretend nothing had changed. I went about my days as if everything was exactly the same. I smiled when I needed to, I laughed at the right moments, and I followed the routine Caspian and I had fallen into—soothingly predictable, and perhaps, that’s what kept me sane. But it didn’t work. Nothing worked.
The kiss, the one that had meant everything but nothing at all—it haunted me. Even now, as I stood in the middle of the penthouse, I could still feel the imprint of his lips on mine. It wasn’t just the kiss, though. It was the way he’d looked at me afterward, how his gaze had lingered just a little too long, and then quickly turned cold again, retreating into the fortress he had so carefully built around himself.
I could pretend all I wanted, but I couldn’t ignore the ache in my chest whenever I thought about it. And more than that, I couldn’t ignore the way Caspian seemed to do everything in his power to avoid me now. He buried himself in his work like a man running from something, and I wasn’t stupid enough to not realize that something was me.
Every day, I woke up to the sound of his footsteps walking past my room, to the soft clicking of his laptop keys, to the quiet hum of a man determined to stay emotionally distant. We barely spoke unless it was about some official public appearance or some calculated move in this arrangement. My heart would twist every time he spoke to me like a mere acquaintance, as if we weren’t sharing a bed under the same roof, as if we weren’t in this charade together.
A part of me wished that the distance between us was just part of the act—he was playing his role as the distant billionaire perfectly, and I was playing mine. But another part, the one I tried to bury beneath a pile of denial, feared that maybe, just maybe, it wasn’t all an act. That kiss, that look in his eyes—it meant something. And I was beginning to hate myself for letting it.
I sat on the couch, flipping through a book I wasn’t really reading, the soft hum of the city beyond the glass windows doing little to calm my mind. My phone buzzed on the table next to me, breaking the silence. I glanced at the screen and saw a text from Gemma, my best friend and the only person who seemed to get it.
Gemma: Have you seen the tabloids? They’re going crazy with rumors about you and Caspian.
I sighed, rubbing my temple. I knew it was inevitable, but the thought of those vultures descending on my life made my stomach churn.
Me: I try not to pay attention to that stuff.
Gemma: You should! Apparently, someone is spreading rumors that you’re just a “glamorous distraction” for him. They’re calling you a “kept woman.”
I dropped the phone into my lap, frustration bubbling up inside me. Kept woman? Was that really what people thought of me? That I was some gold-digger, a plaything for the world’s richest man?
I tossed the phone aside and went to the kitchen, needing something to calm my nerves. I stared at the coffee maker, my fingers itching to make a cup, but it didn’t help the ache in my chest. Nothing helped. Not anymore.
Just as I reached for a cup, the sound of the front door opening made me freeze. Caspian was home.
I didn’t turn around when I heard him walk into the kitchen. I kept my back to him, feeling the familiar tension in the air as he stepped closer, his presence palpable. He was silent as always, but there was something different in the way he was standing, something tense in his posture. I knew him too well now.
“What’s wrong?” His voice was low, barely above a whisper, but I could tell he was speaking to me. Not just to fill the silence, but because something was bothering him.
I didn’t answer immediately, though. Instead, I poured the hot coffee slowly, pretending the sound of it filling the mug wasn’t the only thing that could keep me grounded right now. His eyes were on me, but I didn’t look at him. Not yet. The tension in the room was thick, and I didn’t want to acknowledge it.
But he wasn’t going to let me off the hook so easily.
“You’re avoiding me.” His voice was sharp now, almost accusing. He stepped closer, and I could feel the heat of his body near mine, his presence pulling me in despite my attempts to resist.
I swallowed, but the words stuck in my throat. “I’m not avoiding you,” I muttered, my gaze still focused on the coffee pot, as if it could give me the strength to face him.
“Then what’s going on, Lily?” His voice was softer now, but still, it held an edge of something I couldn’t quite place—something that felt like a crack in his Impenetrable armor. I could feel his eyes boring into me, studying me in a way that made my skin prickle with awareness.
I turned around then, unable to keep pretending anymore. The moment our eyes locked, I saw it—the storm brewing in his gaze, the raw intensity that flickered there and threatened to break through. There was something else in his eyes, too, something fleeting and uncertain, and it made my heart stutter in my chest.
“You’ve been shutting me out,” I said, my voice quiet but firm, barely above a whisper. “You’ve been distant, like I’m invisible.”
He didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he stepped forward, closing the gap between us, his hand coming to rest on the counter next to mine. He was close now, too close, and I could feel his breath on my skin. My heart raced, and I was sure he could hear it.
“You’re not invisible,” he said, his voice low, but there was an edge to it, a certain tension I couldn’t ignore. “But you have to understand, this isn’t easy for me, either.”
I took a step back, breaking the physical closeness. My mind was spinning, trying to make sense of his words. His eyes followed me, intense and unwavering, as though I was the only thing that mattered in that moment.
“I don’t understand, Caspian,” I said, my voice trembling, though I wasn’t sure if it was from the cold or from the emotions surging inside me. “You keep pushing me away, and I don’t know why.”
There was a long pause, a silence that stretched out between us like a taut wire, waiting to snap. I could see the conflict in his eyes—he was fighting something, battling against whatever it was that was keeping him from letting me in.
And then it happened.
A soft click, like the breaking of something fragile, echoed in the space between us. Caspian’s gaze softened, and for the first time, I saw something that I hadn’t before—vulnerability. Raw and unguarded. His hand reached out, almost as if he was going to touch me, but then he hesitated, as though he was unsure.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper, the walls around him slowly crumbling. “I’ve never let anyone in before, and I’m not sure how to do it.”
The words struck me like a bolt of lightning. This was the Caspian I had been waiting for—the real man behind the cold billionaire mask. And it scared me. Because suddenly, I realized, I didn’t just want him to stay distant. I didn’t just want the act. I wanted something more. I wanted him.
Before I could answer, the door to the penthouse opened abruptly, and my thoughts were interrupted. A voice I recognized all too well cut through the air, sharp and filled with malice.
“Well, well, if it isn’t the perfect little couple.”
I turned sharply, my heart sinking in my chest as I saw her: the socialite who had made it her mission to make my life miserable. Cassandra Calloway, a fling from Caspian’s past.
She sauntered in with a smirk on her face, her eyes scanning the space, landing on me first before moving to Caspian. She didn’t bother with pleasantries. She never did.
“I hear you’ve been spending quite a bit of time with Caspian, darling,” Cassandra said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “How does it feel to be the latest… distraction?”
My blood ran cold. I could see where this was going.
Caspian stepped forward, his jaw tightening, his hand clenching at his side. I expected him to brush her off, as he had done so many times before with people like her. But instead, he spoke, his voice low and dangerous.
“Enough, Cassandra,” he snapped. “If you’re here to cause trouble, you can leave.”
I stood frozen, my heart pounding in my chest as I watched the two of them—Caspian, usually so controlled, now visibly losing his temper.
“You really think she’s the one?” Cassandra sneered. “Just another pawn in your little game. She doesn’t even know what she’s getting herself into.”
The words hit me like a slap to the face. For a moment, I was paralyzed by them—doubt seeping in, feeding on the insecurities I had already been battling. Was I just a pawn? Was that all I was to him?
But before I could spiral further, Caspian’s voice cut through the tension like a knife.
“Don’t ever speak to her that way again,” he said, his tone icy but filled with a force I had never heard from him before.
For the first time, I saw Caspian lose control. I saw how much I meant to him, how much he was willing to defend me, even from someone like Cassandra. And it was enough to shatter the walls I had built around my own heart.
He wasn’t just protecting me because of the arrangement. It was something more. And I couldn’t ignore it anymore.
Cassandra stared at him, her face falling for just a moment before she turned on her heel and left, muttering something under her breath.
The silence that followed was heavy, thick with unspoken words.
Caspian turned to me, his gaze softening, his anger fading. “Are you okay?”
I nodded, my voice too small to betray the emotions swirling inside me. I didn’t know how to answer him—not yet. But I knew one thing for sure: something had shifted.
For the first time in our arrangement, I felt like I wasn’t just pretending. I was real to him. And for the first time, I allowed myself to hope that maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way about me.
But even as I looked up at him, my heart racing, a nagging fear still lingered in the back of my mind. What if this was just another game for him?
I wanted to believe it wasn’t. But deep down, I wasn’t sure anymore.