Thirty-five

Chinonso was right where he'd assured me he'd be, at the left corner of the room. His attention was on his phone as he waited for my arrival, and I paused to regard him. He was a beautiful man and dressed in neat tailored suits, he looked elegant.

Why then was my heart reacting the same way it did when I watched Dora, still and bored?l

I needed to give this man a chance. It was clear Mene was done with me.

I made my way into the restaurant, and Chinonso stilled, his whole demeanor shifting to acknowledge my presence when he looked up from his phone and saw me. He dropped his phone to the table and sat up in his seat as he anticipated my arrival. His eyes raked over my body. He was used to seeing me in just gowns and suits, so seeing me today in a bandage body suit that showed off a huge amount of cleavage stunned him.

Good.

Exactly what I wanted.

"Hi, beautiful". He got out of his chair to hug me and plant a kiss on my cheek as I got to him.

"Hi, Nonso. You look handsome". I told him.

"And you...you look....Damn beautiful, I can't find the right words". I blushed as he pulled out the chair for me. "Please sit. God is really real". He shook his head in wonder as he moved over to take his seat.

The conversation went smoothly as we waited for the waiter to bring our order. I asked Chinonso about his experience working as a lecturer. After complaining about how bad the pay was compared to what they pay abroad, he then told me how much he loved lecturing.

Of course, sometimes he took up some cases which he'd never lost, but lecturing was where he felt like himself, and not in the courtroom. He loved seeing the joy on students' faces when they understood what he taught, which was why he made his lectures very interesting.

I was enjoying this date more than I thought I would.

Chinonso was a conversationalist, and I found myself captivated by his stories and asking me to share more before I even realized it.

While there was still not that spark, he was charming and charismatic. And who knows, maybe with time, this could grow into something more.

Maybe even after the date.

"What about you, Tarila? Tell me about yourself?"

"Uhm". I cleared my throat as I thought about what I could tell him. That I was once a stripper and now I'm working as a spy for my former stripper boss?

No.

This man would walk out of there and head straight to the police station.

I decided to stick to lying just like I've been doing since I started this new job.

"Well". I brushed a strand of my blonde wig out of my face. "There's nothing much to tell. Unlike you, I'm not passionate about my job. I'm just working as a personal assistant to make ends meet".

"I understand. I've never met anyone passionate about assisting someone".

"Yeah". I shrugged. "But Dr Mary makes the job less overbearing. She's kind, nice, and accommodating. It's hard to see bosses who are that nice these days".

"You're right".

The waiter finally came with our order, and we paused our conversation as he arranged our food and drinks on the table. We thanked him and he left.

"You're very beautiful, Tarila".

"Thank you". I smiled at him. "You're attractive too".

"Then let's get married. Two attractive people would make really beautiful babies, don't you think?"

My appetite disappeared, and I dropped my spoon to the table. It was hard to eat after hearing about marriage and kids, my greatest fears in life. Considering the number of failed marriages this generation currently has, I never saw the reason for it. What was the need to get married when you'll end up divorced months or years later? I wanted something that would last forever. The kind I watched in movies and read in books. The kind Dr. Mary and Chief Afeelo had.

But I was afraid it would never happen. Our generation was filled with broken people refusing to heal from the demons of their past. People who have gaslighted themselves enough to believe that they don't need help.

If a failed relationship could damage me to the extent it did, I wondered what a failed marriage would do.

And then babies. Stories of mothers losing their sight and hearing, and some having their shape disfigured for life made me scared of pregnancy. I loved my body and I wanted to stay this way forever.

"I'm not ready for marriage, Chinonso".

"Why? Are you a minor?"

"Of course, I'm not a minor. I'm not just ready"

"Why, Tarila? You're not giving me any reason?" He pressed on.

"I'm not just ready". I maintained my response. "And besides, I just got to know you".

"Oh. Then I don't mind waiting". I decided to change the topic then so I could finally gain my appetite. "So, when did you realize that you were born to teach?"

*****

We finally decided to draw the curtains of the date to a close after my third cocktail. I was full, quite tipsy, and also tired. Chinonso, however, was just full.

He doesn't drink, smoke, or club. I'd asked him these when he ordered a mocktail and not a cocktail. He was a proper gentleman and the perfect father and husband exemplary figure.

But I didn't want that right now.

I rested my head on the headrest of his Camry as he drove me home, paying attention to Chris Brown's "Under the Influence".

Thoughts of Mene rushed into my mind as the sultry lyrics of the song became clearer in my mind. Tears prickled in my eyes. It's been four days since I last heard from him, and exactly that since we last met. It was getting harder to fake nonchalance. I always raced to my phone whenever my phone rang or pinged with a text.

I wanted to call him and curse him to death, but I didn't have the nerve to. I deleted his number yesterday, but that only worsened matters, as anytime I received a call from a number with no caller ID, my heart skipped faster than usual, and I ended up even more disappointed. I eventually saved the number back.

I needed this man out of my system, and this date would have succeeded in doing that if Chinonso hadn't brought up the whole marriage and children talk.

"This gate right?" He pointed at the red gate that led to me and Chinwe's house, and I nodded. He drove over the gate and killed the engine.

"Thank you for today. I'll be leaving now".

"I'll take you in".

"Don't worry. I'm not that drunk". I started to leave when he held my hand, ceasing my movements.

"Tarila". I kept my gaze ahead of us, not wanting to look at him so he wouldn't see the tears in my eyes and think he caused it.

"Did I annoy you today?"

"No". I shook my head. "I'm just tired". I started to remove my chin from his grasp, but he held it firmly.

"You can talk to me about it".

No, I couldn't. How do I tell him that I was currently crying about another man when I was on a date with him? He was a wonderful person. He didn't deserve such cruelty.

So instead, I did the first thing that came to my mind. I turned to him, watching his eyes squint when they saw the tears in my eyes.

"Chinonso".

"Yes, beautiful".

"Kiss me". He recoiled in shock. That wasn't what he was expecting at all. "Please". I added.

He swallowed hard before his eyes fell to my lips.

Thank God!

With care, he lowered his head till our lips reached and sealed in a kiss. It wasn't passionate or intense like Mene's, which was my fault, but he was a really good kisser. I got lost in the kiss. My hands flew to grab him by the collar as I kissed back, forcing myself to want him and to get lost in him. My lips were begging to make him forget about Mene but to my greatest surprise and disappointment, he uttered the words that shattered my heart.

"I'm not having sex with you before marriage, Tarila. It's against my values. Once we get married, we can do this".

Those words would make another girl swoon but they made me flinched like I'd been slapped in the face, knocking any form of tipsiness from my system.

I quickly gathered my things and made a hasty exit, leaving Chinonso and his moralistic lecture behind.

I needed a drink, or three, to get over this night. I couldn't wait for tomorrow.