Chapter 17 This can't be love
The same way nobody prepared me for the first trimester, was the same way I wasn't prepared for how fast everything has been going.
At this point I actually fear that my day has become less than twenty four hours.
Or my own weeks always had somewhere important to be and that's the reason why they didn't have to consult me, they just let me blink and it's another month.
Another month always comes along with another check up and number on the scale that I was still finding difficult to accept.
My body changed too.
Certain smells in the hospital corridor that had never bothered me before suddenly made me nauseous.
There were times I was sure that I was fine and had a patient booked for consultation and then halfway through, my stomach starts the funny feeling.
And times when I felt too fatigued to do anything.
But the good thing was that my schedule was quietly adjusted by the hospital, Although without any express notice.
I just showed up at work one day and realized that my rotation had been restructured and I was put out of procedures that required sustained physical efforts past a certain point.
No meeting was held to this end, and I knew who exactly handled it.
Aiden.
I mean, Dr. Korran.
He does every single thing out of consideration and first try to make it a big deal.
As though he just did the things and moved, without waiting for any kind of applause.
I caught him once, he was adjusting the height of the chair in my consultation room before I got in, but he turned away before I had the chance to acknowledge it.
Although I pretended not to have seen it, and he pretended he hadn't done it, that didn't change anything.
Then there was someone who was categorically incapable of pretending anything.
Chloe.
She noticed everything and commented on all of it, loudly without being asked. The week my ankles started swelling she showed up with compression socks and a thirty minute lecture about blood circulation.
And this week, she brought me three boxes of crackers I couldn't stop eating.
I didn't ask.
Honestly, I was grateful for the gift of her, although it was pretty strange to navigate. I had spent so long in a life where asking for help felt like losing somwthing, and needing something felt like vulnerability that needed to be managed rather than a simple human fact.
Or maybe that was just U.S, since the people here came through for me even before I asked, and didn't keep scores about it.
Like it was a lifestyle.
I was still sitting at my desk, eating the crackers, and thinking about everything else, with my laptop screen on the a knock sounded against my door.
Not the consultation room, or the shared office, this one was my own office, with my restroom, bookshelf and space.
I straightened and mumbled. “Come in.”
The door opened and Dr. Korran walked in.
“Good Afternoon sir.” I greeted, and he nodded, offering himself a seat.
“It's lunch time.” He replied. “And you're still sitting here, you don't have plans?”
I shook my head. “I'm too stressed to, besides I've got crackers.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Crackers? Like this crackers??”
I nodded. “Anything wrong with it?”
Before I could figure out his facial expression, a chuckle escaped his lips.
“Someone who's heavily pregnant shouldn't be eating just crackers.” He took one of the boxes and went over the content. “you should be telling your patients this,”
“Except that I'm not a pregnancy expert” I rolled my eyes playfully.
“You're a consultant.” He laughed. “But just some random one, you're really good.”
“Fine you've got me.” I raised both hands up in surrender. “But honestly, you should have a taste of these, the taste is unmatched.”
An amused grin rested on his face, and his eyes lingered on me longer than usual, and then he pushed a bag over. “I knew you were going to skip a meal, so I got you something.”
My stomach bubbled in excitement.
“You got me food..” I giggled, opening the bag, and bringing out the plate of food, and opening it. “My favorite!”
I couldn't stop myself from squealing as I stared at the plate of spaghetti and meatballs before me. “How did you know it's my favourite?”
He winked at me. “Instincts,”
My heart fluttered in a way I couldn't exactly explain, no… this can't be happening, not now.
“Eat, so your food doesn't get cold.” He said, probably noticing that my mind was drifting off.
“Thank you.” I mumbled, a sudden wave of awkwardness falling between us and for a month I didn't know what to do with his presence in that room, neither could I wrap my head around the sudden acceleration of my heartbeats.
It can't be what I think it is, I'm definitely overthinking how concerned he's been lately.
This can't be love…