Olivia - Amendment
"Olivia—"
"No more leaving me alone all day and night. That's all I'm asking for," I pleaded with him, my pseudo bravado disappearing as I threw myself into his arms and wept. "It's physically painful to be without you. Not alone, but without you. Please stop leaving."
His arms wrapped around me tightly and he squeezed the breath out of me.
"I can't do this, Olive. Daddy can't need you. I can't protect you if I'm —" he said in his signature stoic voice.
"Then get the fuck out," I struggled to scream, choking on my sobs. "Stop confusing me. Fucking leave and don't come back," I snapped, trying to force my way out of his embrace.
"Shut the fuck up," he said, letting go at last, only to grab my shoulders and pin me with a glare. "How many times do I have to tell you this is for life? I'm never far, Olivia. Even when—"
"Don't be my parents, Harmon. Don't act like you care only to keep leaving me," I threw at him, the words cutting into us both.
"Everything I do is for you. Every breath I take, every minute I'm out there doing the shit I'm doing. Sinking back into my old life. It's all for you," he boomed, slamming my back up against the shower wall.
My eyes snapped up to this. The dark circles under his eyes were worsening. Raw emotion exploded out of him. Anger. Fear. Exhaustion. Desperation. Yearning. So much yearning.
I'm making this shit up. Seeing what I want to see. He got what he wanted. He's never going to care like he used to. If he ever did.
"Was I ever more than Billy's kid sister? Stay away. Just stay away until I can leave Cupid's Cove," I insisted, the walls around my heart a fortress as I tried to get away from him.
"Daddy's baby girl is a fucking hypocrite. Do you think you can throw me out like yesterday's trash like you do with everyone else? You think I'll allow that?" he threw back at me in an accusatory tone, his fingernails digging into my shoulders as his face neared mine.
Too numb to give two fucks about the rage on his face, I looked him dead in the eye like I always had.
"Just leave. Please leave. I can't take it anymore. I can't keep hoping to matter to you," I begged softly.
Love me. Love me. Just love me. Why did you stop? How could you stop?
"Fuck. All that matters is you. Don't you get that?" he yelled, his gaze dropping to my lips. "You want me here? Fine. I'll give you your fucking amendment. Neither of us will fucking leave. You're not leaving me. Get that shit out of your head," he said, breathing heavily onto my lips as he turned the tables on me. "Fucking accept the amendment, Olivia," he demanded.
Then he said the darndest thing.
"Please. Anything you want. Just don't hate me," he pleaded, his voice breaking, the pressure on my shoulders increasing once more as he squeezed harder.
"You're hurting me, Harmon," I said in a small voice, torn between the wild look in his eyes as Mr. Inconsequential begged and the need for self preservation.
How many more times would he reject me?
Tell him to leave again. He'll listen this time. Eventually they all leave.
"I know," he said, his grip on me loosening as his gaze followed mine to his hands. "I'm going to hurt you worse in this very suite. I'm going to break you, Olive. Tell me to leave. Just one more time and I'll go. I swear I will," he said, his whole body closing in on mine.
His lips touched mine in a slow, chaste, gentle kiss.
"Just one more time," he begged against my lips.
His mouth came down hard on mine when I offered him no answer. There was no hesitation in the way we attacked each other's mouths though. We kissed and touched each other's naked bodies with a fervor so severe my knees buckled. He grabbed my thighs and picked me up and slammed my back against the wall. My limbs wrapped around his body as I let his mouth soothe the dull ache his absence created.
Leave. Leave. Leave.
Love me. Love me. Love me.
The voices in my head went to war, leaving me a confused, besotted mess.
It hit me like a thunderbolt. I finally understood the significance of him. Not some school girl crush. Not just daddy issues. I didn't like him. Not hate either, no matter how many times he rejected me. His very presence in my life endangered me. He scared the shit out of me a few nights ago. For goodness sake, he fucking locked me up. And yet…
It will never be hate because I'm fucking in love with you. How long? In your bed during our first night together? Six months ago? A year ago? Longer? When did it become love, Harmon?
"Tell me to go or accept the fucking amendment, but understand this, Olivia. If I can't leave you, you can't leave me. No matter what you find out about me, there's no out beyond this point," he said, withdrawing from my mouth to say the words, watching me with expectant eyes.
I heard the blood rush into my ears as I fought to hold his overpowering gaze, daring me to go against his will.
No out beyond this point.
When this is over and you're home safe, we'll never speak of this again.
These two things stood in stark contrast to each other. Just how much of the contract were we amending?
"Okay daddy. No one's leaving anyone. Amendment accepted," I caved, because my aching heart didn't know how not to.
Not when it belonged to him.
How long have I been daddy's baby girl?
"On one condition," I said, watching him watch me as the water we had long since started ignoring ran cold.
"Naturally," he said with a chuckle. "I'm listening, baby girl. What now?"
A wide beam graced his face. The tension left his body as he allowed himself to soften for me and breathed a sigh of relief.
Are you happy, daddy? I am. I can't help it. That smile on your face is everything.
I found myself returning his beam with one of my own as the sorrow of solitude evaporated, replaced soon thereafter by insurmountable bliss.
"No sex," I said resolutely and his smile fell.
The hope his blatant disappointment instilled in me went to my head right alongside the joy of being with him again.
"Not until after our date tonight," I clarified. "Treat me like a lady, not a harlot, Harmon. Make love to your baby girl, daddy."