Chapter 36--Worthy

AMBER

I can hear Mrs Holden’s heels clicking on the floor as she walks away from me. Her words are latched onto my mind, replaying like a broken record. A pang courses through my chest and the air suddenly become dense.

What was I expecting when Ryan said he was going to introduce me to his parents? A warm welcome? Bright smiles on their faces?

I chuckle, holding back the tears that dared to slip out of my eyes. There was no way they were going to accept me. I am not as rich as they are. As a matter of fact, I don’t fit the standards.

I clench my fists, trying to quell the rising anger inside of me. It’s not true. Yes, Ryan’s family is wealthy, but I never cared about that. I care for Ryan, not for what he has. And I know he feels the same way about me.

But now, because of one thoughtless comment, everything feels like it’s falling apart. Ryan’s mother made it clear that she doesn’t think I’m good enough for him. And even worse, she doesn’t think I’m worthy of him. The thought is like a knife twisting in my gut. I didn't plan any of this, and frankly, the weight of the ring on my finger is unlike anything I have carried before. He didn't even tell me! Or let me take that decision!

I take a deep breath and try to steady myself. I can’t let this get to me. I can’t let Ryan’s mother’s words define me. But it’s hard. So hard. Because in that moment, standing on the balcony of Ryan’s parents’ mansion, I feel so small, so insignificant. Like I don’t belong here, like I never will.

“Getting some fresh air? I understand these type of parties are not your thing,” I hear a familiar voice say behind me, causing me to turn around.

My head snaps back and my heart skips a beat when I see Jasper, standing there with a smirk on his face.

I tense up, preparing to brush him off and walk away, but before I can say anything, he adds, “So, you and my mother had nice chat, I presume?”

My stomach drops. He knows. He knows what Ryan’s mother said to me, and he’s here to make fun of me for it. I feel like I’m drowning in shame and humiliation.

“What do you want, Jasper?” I manage to choke out, my voice barely above a whisper.

He takes a step closer, and I can smell the faint scent of his cologne. “Just having a little fun, Amber. It’s not every day I get to see you squirm like this.”

I clench my jaw, trying to keep my composure. I won’t let him see me break. “If that’s all you wanted to say, then I’ll be going.”

I turn to leave, but he grabs my arm, stopping me. “Wait, wait. I’m sorry, okay? I shouldn’t have teased you like that. I know how it feels to be on the receiving end of our mom’s... bluntness.”

I look at him skeptically, not sure if I believe him. But there’s a hint of sincerity in his eyes, and I can’t help but let my guard down a little.

No. That'd make me a fool, and I am not.

“I appreciate the apology, Jasper,” I say stiffly, pulling my arm away from him. “But I think it’s best if we just stay out of each other’s way tonight.”

“Hey, now that hurts. I actually came here to comfort you.” He grins.

I scoff, my face twisting into a snarl. “I never asked for your comfort Jasper.”

I begin to march away from him, when his words draw my attention once again.

“You might not need my comfort, but soon enough, you’ll come back, running into my arms.”

I did not bother to spare him as much as a glance as I walked away, hastening my steps.

As I walk away from Jasper, my anger boils inside of me. The fact that he is a thorn in my side that cannot be pulled out infuriated me. I can feel my fists clenching at my sides as I try to keep my composure.

I take deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. I don’t want to let his words get to me, but they keep replaying in my mind like a broken record. I can’t shake the feeling of being judged, of being seen as inferior.

I decide to go back to the party, to try and get my mind off of everything that’s happened. Maybe I can find Ryan and we can dance or talk, just the two of us. I start walking, my heels clicking against the marble floors.

As I turn a corner, I realize I’ve completely lost my bearings. The mansion is so large and labyrinthine that it’s easy to get turned around. I can hear the distant sounds of music and chatter, but I have no idea which direction to go.

I take a deep breath and try to calm myself down. I need to focus, to find my way back to the living room where the party is being held.

I wander through a hallway lined with ornate vases and paintings, taking in the grandeur of the mansion. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before. The walls are painted in rich, warm colors, and the floors are polished to a high shine. Every detail, from the intricate moldings to the elegant chandeliers, is designed to impress.

As I turn another corner, I find myself in a smaller room, filled with cozy armchairs and bookshelves. It’s a stark contrast to the opulence of the rest of the mansion, but it’s no less beautiful. The walls are lined with shelves of books, and a roaring fire flickers in the fireplace. I can’t resist the urge to sit down and take a breather, letting the warmth of the fire wash over me.

After a few moments, I get up and continue on my search. I walk through a series of interconnected rooms, each one more lavish than the last. I pass by a billiards room, a home theater, and a gym that’s bigger than my entire apartment. The scale of it all is almost overwhelming.

I slip into the hallways again, hastening my steps as I try to get back to the party.

But as I make my way through the winding hallways, I realize that I’m completely lost. The opulent décor, which had seemed impressive earlier, now feels overwhelming and maze-like. I start to feel a rising sense of panic.

Just then, I hear muffled voices coming from behind a nearby door. My heart jumps in my chest as I approach the door and strain to listen. The door is made of dark, polished wood and is carved with intricate patterns that seem to shimmer in the dim light. It’s large and imposing, with a heavy brass handle that glints in the light.

The door is rather intimidating as I stare at it and I begin to contemplate walking towards it.

But then I hear Ryan’s voice, and I can feel my pulse quickening at the sound. What could he be doing in there? And who is he talking to?

I’m torn between wanting to turn away and respect his privacy, and feeling the overwhelming need to know what he’s saying. I hesitate for a moment, but then curiosity gets the better of me. I place my ear against the door, listening intently.