Chapter 4: The Message

Scarlet’s Point of View

I opened my eyes and looked around the dimly lit room. It was almost midnight and Max was asleep— I could see him on another bed near me. He still didn’t share the same bed, but I was only grateful for that.

I slowly got up. My fever had gone by now and I was feeling a lot better. I put on some woolen clothes and decided to leave right away.

I went downstairs in the hotel and left the place.

…

I remembered exactly where the building was. I took a cab to the same location and I was soon standing in front of Valencian Corporation.

“It is high time I knew, Xavier,” I whispered to myself before entering the company.

A few people were still up and working in the place. I smiled at them and after a minute, headed toward Xavier’s office. I had the card to enter his cabin and I knew exactly how he had accessed the secret door so it was not an issue.

I finally tapped on the wall and the door slided again—revealing the same hall filled with computers and wires.

“Zora,” I said as soon as I came in.

“Yes, Ms. Walker. How may I help you?”

“The message,” I whispered. “Tell it to me now.” I said immediately without thinking again. I couldn’t wait—even if I was afraid.

She processed for a few seconds before she continued: “The message Mr. Xavier left was the passcode for accessing a longer message he had saved earlier. Do you want me to read the message as text, or should I play it in his voice as he recorded it?”

“His voice.”

“Sure. Please tell me when to stop.”

I took a deep breath as she played the voice note.

“Hey, Scarlet. I hope you’re listening to this. If you are, it means a lot—a lot must have changed between us. The hate, the—the apparent mutual hate you believe is between us has to have faded because I could've never said these things to you. It's vulnerable, it's so—so exposing, and it's scary. Yeah, some things do scare me…" He took a pause, "Uh, today is—today is 7th June 2022," I squinted my brows. It was November now, so this voice note was months old. I continued listening, "It's the day I hurt you. Yesterday night, I—I hurt you and my sadist nature came outside. I didn't want to, not until it was too late. That beautiful face didn't need to be ruined like that, it's—it's not ruined, but I know that no apology will ever be enough."

I looked down as my eyes moistened. I wasn't sure why I was emotional—was it the memories of that night or somehow his words? He seemed different in the voicenote, as if there was this side of him that I wasn’t aware of. A side which felt guilty for doing wrong.

The voice note had a break and continued again. Maybe because it was spoken over months so it was continued from another day.

"You left," It started, "You left me today, Scarlet. Over a big misunderstanding, I am sure, but you did. I am glad that I had a chance to make up for my mistakes by letting you go, even if you misunderstood me, but does it normally hurt so much when someone you apparently hate, leaves?" I looked down, now sure that his words were the reason behind my tears.

"Max is going to—he loves you, right? He will love you and a day will come when the world will hear you say that you love him and maybe that's what Jesus wanted for me as a punishment." I looked at the computer screen which was playing the audio even if he wasn't there—I didn't know what else to do. Xavier wasn't aware when he let me go with Max about who he really was. He let me go and he wanted me to be happy. It was a misunderstanding, he never planned to kill me.

"It's not normal. It's so not normal for me to feel Iike this, to record my feelings and hope—hope one day you'll listen, but I swear to Jesus that I want you to know that I don't hate you and I never did, no one ever can, and I…" He took two deep breaths as he continued, "If in any parallel universe I am capable of loving, I know it's you I fall in love with. This version of me is unlovable and even incapable of expressing love, but if feeling like you could do and go through anything for someone is anywhere near the feeling of being in love, I've been there and I've been there for you and only you. Even in my small scale of feeling and showing love, I love you the most. I—I love you to the most of my limit and I'm aware it's not enough for you. I don't want anything in return for this, I just want you to know that the version of me that you hate so much—he died and a better one came up when you came. You're the light in everyone's eyes, you're the sunlight the world needs. With whatever I have, I love you."

I breathed heavily. I sat down on the floor of the room, my thoughts clouding my brain tremendously. A huge flow of mindless insane thoughts and feelings flooded my veins and mind. My heart beat was elapsing, my lungs choking for air even though there was ample of it around. Some tears came in my eyes. He loves me? But how is that—This was too much to take in. What he really felt about me, about himself, was so different from what he showed me.

I never thought he would think of himself like someone unlovable. And never, in any universe, did I think of him loving me.

“Zora,” I said instinctively, “Can you contact Xavier for me?”

“I am not sure if I am allowed—”

“Please, Zora! I need to talk to him! Or if that’s not—that’s not safe, then just tell me where the fuck he has gone! I need to meet him!” I stood up and said as more tears threatened to travel down my cheeks.“Mr. Valencian made it sure that he would break all contact with the US until he had completed his mission which would take two years. From my calculations—”

“ZORA,” I said with frustration. “I am sure that Xavier didn’t ask you to ignore what I say. If you really can’t tell me anything, just tell him that I need to meet him. I really do. If he wants, he will send me his location.”

“Okay, Miss Walker.”

I exhaled. “Also, can you like—like connect with my device or something? It is difficult for me to keep coming here.”“Sure, please turn the WiFi on your device on and I will do the rest.”

Soon she was connected with my device—her icon with a ‘Z’ appearing right next to Google Assistant. I could talk to her like a normal assistant.

I sighed again. “I am leaving now, Zora. Please inform me on my device if Xavier replies.”“I will. Have a good day, Ms. Walker.”

“Thanks.”I left the room and closed the wall. My eyes were still filled with tears and my brain flooded with overwhelming emotions but I controlled them.

I really needed to talk with Xavier right now.