The ideas of the girls were much weirder and worse. I thought I have the best answer to them, yet they offer me dangerous ideas.
They want me to touch him!
Even when we've already parted ways and I'm in the car on my way home. I couldn't get our conservation and insane ideas out of my head.
I closed my eyes and smiled as I leaned back. It was only that their thoughts were so weird and naughty. I'm pleased with their vibes. We chatted so much and talked a lot that we did not notice the time. We only noticed the time when the boys appeared unexpectedly in the ice cream shop to pick us up.
I feel so betrayed that the boys followed us. hey come and get us at that ice cream shop. Marie is with Noel, and they would have movie date, Easton Dragged Gretta, and Richard, Dave, Thea, and I were the only ones left in the group, but Thea left us because she needed to go to the book store, and Dave also went there to get a book for his father.
Gretta's voice was still in my head.
"You merely touch for a second and you feel that boom!" How much more if it will takes minutes or hours?!” Greta screamed. Our gazes were drawn to her. Thea gulped and cleared her throat. Gretta smiled broadly and waved her brows.
"I mean, why don't you try touching again and see if there's still a reaction!"
My jaw dropped. Crazy.
“I think it’s dangerous.” Marie said, worried. Our gaze was drawn to her.
It’s very dangerous. I imagined Kairus serious and I think I would rather be bitten by the dog than touch him.
“What makes it dangerous?” Greta asked, and we turned to face her.
Marie sighed and shrugged. "Of course, girls! I mean she's living on the same roof, then I'm sure something would happen!” Marie exaggeratedly exclaimed.
Gretta burst out laughing and clapped her hands together.
"You're so hilarious, Marie," Gretta chuckled. "I know you were the only one in this bunch who had a partner. I'm not suggesting she kiss him or touch him in private, girl. "What I was saying is...touch," she remarked as she raised her right hand to touch the left hand.
"Touch...like touch his hand, grip his arms, and so many other things."
Marie nodded. “Ah…you didn’t clear it, eh.”
Our table went silent. Thea gulped and resumed eating ice cream. She is only the observer. She was watching like we are the species she will never understand yet amused her.
She looks so pretty though, and she’s cute moving her head while staring at whoever is saying in this table.
"Aim," Gretta whispered seriously. I bit my lower lip and stared at her. She felt a little unsure. I know she’s honest, frank, and straightforward, and right now she’s a bit hesitant and careful.
“What is it? I’m fine.” I assured her calmly. Thea and Marie look curious as well.
"What if…what if what you're feeling isn't about an emotion, but about your...your condition," she added, and my gaze was drawn to her.
She know…how…how did she know?
That was a family secret that only my family and the boys, Richard, David, Easton, and Noel, and they know how I badly want it to be secret, and as much as possible I want it to be a lifelong secret.
Our table went silent. I was stunned, shocked, and rendered speechless.
“I-I mean, Noel, didn’t break his promise. He never told me about it. He never told me that…that you have a heart problem. I…I kust know because...because..." Gretta groaned painfully, as if the words she was going to utter would slice her heart. She take a long breath, and she said, “I don’t know what happened but I saw him outside his house, drunk…and he…he was crying…and he kneeled under the moon and star…begging from above. That night, I couldn't leave him. He’s not a believer. His faith is weak. He doesn't have that in the first place. That night, I saw him prayed hard.”
M Marie and Thea's jaws dropped and their mouths fell open. It was very…very unexpected news. It was as if their heart was being ripped away from them. They hadn't even realized the ice cream had already spilled on their uniform. I'm sure they wouldn't think I had a disease. I'm not skinny or pale. I look pretty fine, strong and healthy.
This is what I wanted to keep a secret. I don't want to see this kind of reaction. I don’t want to have this kind of silence. I kept it a secret for the few because I don't want others to suffer through the agony I'm going through...when I'm going to die.
I laughed, but they didn't smile back. I groaned and glanced at them.
"This is also why I don't want anyone to find out. I don't want you to be worried. I don't want you to treat me as if I were going to die. I am, but I want everyone to treat me normally. I want everything to be normal, and natural.”
I quietly laugh as I observe them staring at me and not moving. Don’t feel bad, please.
“Fine. I don't want anyone to be emotional because I don't want to cry and feel horrible about it." I admitted, weakly.
I don't want to make a room where I can think every night or a place where I can cry at night. I built the wall because I don't want anyone else to feel my pain and agony. I want to be selfish, and I couldn't bear to watch all the people loves me cry. I don't want to break their hearts, and the boys only found out about my condition by accident.
They didn't move or even talk, so I kept eating while peering out the window.
Life has been so good to me. I never went to the point to complain about this because all I think each day that I’m fine. Everything is okay with me
"You're very brave," Marie said quietly. "I...I never imagined a beautiful, cheerful, and carefree girl could have something like this. I...I'm very proud of you and amazed by your strength."
I cracked a smile.
This is the reason why I want to know as well. I’m confused if it’s because of my heart or it is because of my condition.
I smiled as I faced them. "I'm all right. This condition...doesn't bother me...yet." Of course, I didn't finish the word.
Thea smiled at me. I know that behind that eyeglass were worried eyes, and I know that behind those worried eyes she wanted to hug me or utter words that I needed to hear.
I wanted to be independent. I don't want it for myself, but rather for everyone. I don't want them to pour their hearts out to a girl who is slowly drifting away.
Gretta stepped in closer, clearing her throat. She leaned her head against her arms and laid them on the table.
“"So, what are the things on your bucket list that you would like to have or to do?" She asked, excited. "Do you want to dance in the street? Paint the wall…vandalism? Tattoo? Tattoo is amazing! I wanted I wanted it but I’m still waiting to turn eighteen, though.”
The girls nodded as well. I don’t have a choice. They unexpectedly know and I have to take care of their heart.
"I, too, want Tattoo," Marie murmured. "And how about you, Thea?”
Thea nodded and smiled. "I can bear the pain." She remarked, and chuckled.
“Hmm…what could be a beautiful tattoo?” Gretta asked again.
"Ice cream," I answered. I smile, contentedly watching the ice cream. "if ever that I will die, and you will miss me, you can buy ice-cream and I will hug your heart."
Marie nodded, and clapped. "Then we might have the tat in our hands, and..." she stared at me, "it signifies we'll hold each other's hand till no end.”
I love it. Our conversation went smoothly and comfortably.
When I feel someone's touch on my cheeks, I frown.
"Jette, wake up," Kairus said in hushed tones. “You fell asleep.”