Chapter 41

Chapter 41
LOUISA’S POV

As they sat down on the edge of her hospital bed, Sabrina tilted her head and smiled in a cruel, knowing smile. She looked at me just long enough to make my chest feel like it had been squeezed by a vice. Then she spoke, her voice low, smooth, and teasing.

“Is this… fake concern, Benedict? Or do you truly care about me?”

I blinked so fast I almost hurt my eyes. My brain tried to sort it out, but it was like trying to untangle a yarn that had been thrown into a dog fight. Fake concern? Truly care? My fingers twitched against Sister Jacinta’s hand. My mouth wanted to say something, but what could I say? I didn’t even understand it all.

Benedict’s eyes didn’t leave her face. From where I stood, I saw his jaw tightened and his shoulders stiffen. He finally spoke, his voice rough, like he had swallowed gravel.

“I… I was heartbroken. That’s all. But this… this attack of yours proves something I already knew deep down. I never stopped loving you.”

Her smile widened in a slow, deliberate way, and she glanced toward me just enough to make sure I heard it. My stomach did another somersault, and I swallowed hard, tasting bile at the back of my throat.

Then she tilted her head innocently, but in a way that made me want to hide behind a pillow, and asked, “And… what about your wife, Benedict? Does she matter at all?”

The color drained from my cheeks as my throat went dry. My heart thudded like a drum someone was beating in my chest. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

Benedict’s eyes darkened, and his tone chilled me all the way down to my toes. “She was a mistake I should have gotten rid of. I will never love her. Never.”

My heart lurched like it had just been punched. My hands went to my face, my cheeks heating up, my tears threatening to spill. I was about to sob big loud messy sobs, but before the sound could leave me, Sister Jacinta’s hand clamped over my mouth.

“Shhh, Louisa… do not cry out here,” she whispered, her voice firm but gentle.

I nodded, biting down on my lip so hard it hurt. My chest shook. A mistake? Never love me? Those words spun in my head over and over, louder than any alarm, louder than the code blue sound I had heard earlier. I wanted to shrink into the floor, or better yet, vanish entirely.

Sabrina leaned closer to Benedict, tilting her head like she had all the time in the world. “You never stopped loving me, did you?” she murmured, brushing her hand against his cheek. My stomach churned. I felt sick, like my insides were trying to climb out of me.

Benedict’s hands tightened around hers, his jaw set. “No, never. Not even for a second.”

My knees wobbled, and I gripped Sister Jacinta’s hand so tight it felt like my fingers might snap. Not for a second. I repeated the words over and over in my head, the words echoing and making my chest ache. I wanted to cry, but I dared not. I was too frozen to even breathe properly.

Then Sabrina leaned back just slightly, eyes glinting with a sharp satisfaction that made me feel like a tiny bird caught in a cage. “What happens to Louisa now?” she asked again, more softly this time like she enjoyed watching me squirm through her fun little experiment.

I felt my lips quiver, almost as if my body was trying to speak for me, but nothing came out. My head spun so much I felt like I might topple sideways. Sister Jacinta gave my hand a gentle squeeze, but it did nothing for the storm inside me.

Benedict didn’t even hesitate in his reply as his tone was precise. “Louisa has, and will always be a mistake. I regretted the decision as soon as I said yes and now I can’t get rid of her. Things have gotten so out of control and I can’t get rid of her now.”

My heart felt like it had shattered into a thousand little pieces that bounced around my chest. I pressed my hands to my belly, trying to calm the baby, trying to calm myself. But my hands shook, and tears threatened to burst from my eyes again. 

He only ever saw me as a mistake. But he said he loved me. Benedict is a big, fat liar! 

I could feel Sister Jacinta shift behind me, her eyes stern but worried. She whispered again, “Louisa… hold it together. For the baby. Please.”

I nodded weakly, my fingers clutching the hospital gown like it was the only thing keeping me from disappearing. My mind was a tornado of confusion and I wanted to curl up and hide forever.

I tried to breathe slowly like Sister Jacinta had shown me before, but every inhale felt like fire in my chest. I could hear Benedict’s deep, low voice continuing to speak to Sabrina, and every word made my stomach twist.

“And you,” Benedict was saying, “you don’t know how much I… I… never stopped caring. You were all I thought about. Every night when I sleep, I think of you in my arms and only that helps me sleep through the night. When I hold her, I think of you. When I kiss her, they’re your lips I am kissing.”

Sabrina’s lips curved and I realized she was still watching me and making sure I heard every word. I wanted to cover my eyes and disappear on the spot, but I couldn’t. 

Sister Jacinta shifted my body slightly so I could lean against the wall instead of falling over. “You have heard enough, Louisa. Hearing any more than you already have might make you faint again,” she said firmly.

I nodded, feeling like I had been scolded and comforted at the same time. My throat ached, and my eyes stung, but I kept them open. Despite what Sister Jacinta thought, I needed to hear everything. I needed to know exactly what Benedict thought of the dumb, foolish wish he picked off the road in exchange for shelter and free food. 

Then, Benedict’s voice changed slightly this time. “Sabrina, do you see now? Louisa is my wife, but she means nothing to me. You are the only one I ever loved.”

That was the final straw. My stomach churned and my face burned as my mouth went dry. I wanted to cry and cry. Sister Jacinta’s hand was still over mine, but it didn’t help much. I wanted to storm in there and called Benedict the liar he is.

Sabrina’s eyes glinted as she smiled again, showing teeth that looked too sharp for someone who was supposed to be sick. “Good,” she said softly. “I wanted to hear that and for you to make sure it wasn’t just pretend.”

I felt a wave of nausea rise in me as I pressed my hands harder against my belly.

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