Chap 34

Chap 34
LOUISA’S POV

I stared at Benedict with eyes so wide I thought they might actually fall out and roll across the floor like marbles. My heart was beating like a drum, boom boom boom, louder than anything I had ever heard. He had said we would be like a real couple and real couples always did everything together. They shared food and rooms and secrets and sometimes even toothbrushes, though I didn’t really understand how that part worked.

Benedict didn’t answer right away. He just looked at me with that serious face he got sometimes, the one where his eyes turned all dark and shiny. The longer he didn’t speak, the more my stomach twisted, until I felt like it was tying itself into a big knot like ropes.

My fingers twisted into my skirt as I blurted, “You don’t love me? Because I love you. I really do. I love you even when you’re frowning so hard that your eyebrows look like they’re fighting each other. And even when you won’t hold my hand because you’re busy on the phone. And even when everyone else is laughing at me. I still love you.”

Benedict’s face softened then, just a little. He reached out to touch my cheek, but I was so nervous I leaned back instinctively, bumping my head gently against the wardrobe door. “Ouch,” I muttered, rubbing the spot, “I’m okay.”

“Louisa,” he said quietly, his thumb finally brushing across my cheek. “Yes. I love you.”

I blinked so hard my eyelashes fluttered like butterflies. “Really? Not just a little? Like actually?”

“Actually,” he said, and I could see a small smile tugging at his lips. “Truly.”

My breath came out in a whoosh, like when you blow out candles on a cake but forget to make a wish first. I felt dizzy with relief. “Oh,” I said, “oh Benedict. That’s… that’s… wow.” I didn’t know what else to say so I just hugged my arms around myself and swayed.

Then my eyes darted back to the wardrobe and all the pretty things inside. “So these are really mine? All of them? Even the sparkly ones?”

“Yes,” he said. “All of them. I told my assistant to pick things that you’d like.”

I clapped my hands together like a child at a fair. “She must be a fairy godmother then because these are beautiful!” I grabbed a dress at random and held it up to my chest, spinning clumsily on my heel. “Look at me, Benedict. Do I look like a princess?”

He chuckled softly, “You look like a princess, Louisa.”

My cheeks went hot. Nobody had ever said something like that to me before. Not even when I wore my best clothes to try and fit in. My eyes started to sting again but this time in a nice way. “I thought… I thought you were mad at me. All day. I thought you didn’t want me anymore.”

He sighed and pulled me gently toward him until my forehead rested against his chest. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way,” he murmured. “I hated leaving you at the boutique. I hated seeing you upset. I was upset too. But not at you.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and whispered, “I was so sure you were angry because of me. Because of what happened and because I… I touched…” I stopped myself abruptly, Henry’s warning roaring in my head again like a bell. My mouth snapped shut and I shook my head quickly. “Never mind,” I mumbled.

Benedict pressed a kiss to my forehead. “All I want you to remember is that I’m not angry with you. Not today and not ever especially for things like that.” His hand slid down to mine and he laced our fingers together. “And I want you to stay here with me in this room. No more sleeping down the hall.”

My heart fluttered madly. “Oh Benedict. That’s so… so… couple-y. Do we get to have breakfast in bed too? And share a blanket? And…” My voice dropped to a whisper. “Do I have to brush my teeth extra because you’ll be right there?”

He laughed again, a deep warm laugh that filled the room. “Yes Louisa. Extra brushing.”

I beamed at him, my whole body buzzing. “Then I’ll do it. I’ll brush twice. Three times. I’ll sleep right here like a proper wife. Does that mean we get to do what husband and wife do every night? Like what we did in the hotel?”

“Only if you want, Louisa.”

I gasp, excitement floating over me. “Of course, I want to. I want you to hold me and tell me I am beautiful. Do you know, it makes my heart flutter and my cheeks get really, really hot?”

Benedict laughed joyously, wrapping his arms around me. “You make my heart flutter too,” he says. He gave my hand a squeeze. “Pick something from the wardrobe to wear tonight. Something that makes you happy.”

My eyes shifted to the wardrobe and I blinked at the rows of dresses again. So many colors. My fingers hovered over a soft blue one with tiny beads at the collar. “This one,” I said in a whisper. 

“Then wear it,” he said.

I nodded, holding it close. “Okay. But… Benedict?”

“Yes?”

I chewed my lip nervously. “If I sleep here… do you think your mother will yell at me? She already hates me and I don’t want to piss her off.”

He squeezed my hand again. “We are married, Louisa. Don’t worry about my mother, I will handle her, okay?”

I clutched the dress tighter, my head spinning with everything. He loved me. He wasn’t mad. He wanted me here. My heart felt too big for my chest.

“Benedict?” I whispered again.

“Yes Louisa?”

“Do you really truly love me? Like not pretend love? Like fairy tale love?”

He looked at me for a long moment. “Yes Louisa. Like fairy tale love.”

I threw my arms around his neck again, pressing my face into his shoulder. “I’ll be good,” I murmured. “I’ll be a good wife. I’ll wear all the dresses you bought for me and I’ll be best at doing what married couples do. And I’ll not mention the things Henry said not to mention.”

Benedict chuckled and held me close. “That’s all I ask.”

I stayed there clinging to him, my heart fluttering. For the first time that day the knot in my stomach loosened. I pulled back to look at him again, my eyes still wide and shiny. 

With trembling lips, I say: “Will you tell me a story tonight?” I blurted. “Since we’re like a real couple now. Real couples tell stories, don’t they?”

He resisted a laugh. “I will.”

I grinned. “Okay. Then I’ll wear my dress and I’ll sit right here and wait.”

I twirled once more in front of the wardrobe, pressing the dress against me, feeling a little like a princess even if my crown was only in my head.

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