Chapter 90 This is not funny
Lia
Crying against Beast felt like falling apart. His big hands rubbed my back while I tried to get my breathing under control, to force the story out. I told him about Liam. If I ever asked to go meet a friend, he would explode. He would smash things. Then he would use his fists on me. He would scream that I did not love him, that I did not care. Every word I said trying to calm him down only made it worse. The hitting would start, and he would tell me it was my own fault. That if I just obeyed him and wanted only him, he would not have to get so angry.
I stopped asking. I started lying to my friends. I made up plans. I said I had to study, or that my dad was in town. Sometimes I just kept saying I could not go until they gave up on me. It felt like a piece of me died each time. I ached to talk to Owen in those days, but I was so scared. I thought Liam might find out and hurt him, too.
“Sunshine, look at me,” Beast said, his voice rough but soft. “Breathe. In and out. Just like that. I am right here. It is all right. I can not sing for shit, but I can carry a tune.”
Then he started to hum. “You Are My Sunshine.” The sound wrapped around me and something hard in my chest just let go. I began to settle.
“My mama used to hum that for me,” he said. “Back before she passed. I would get these awful cramps in my legs at night. She called them growing pains. She would rub my legs and hum that song until I went back to sleep.”
“She sounds amazing,” I said, my voice muffled against him.
“She was. Losing her and my dad broke me. Then I got sent to my uncle, and that was just hell. He told me if I ever told a soul, especially my aunt, what he did to me, he would kill her. Then he would kill me. That is how he kept me quiet.”
I held him as tight as I could, my arms locked around his middle. My heart hurt for that lost, scared boy.
“You want to tell me what set you off before?” he asked gently.
“I am sorry. Asking you for permission… it just brought it all back. That is exactly how it started with Liam. I would ask to go out, and he would fly into a rage. He would say I did not love him, and then he would hit me. I hate that I am still so messed up from it. I hate laying all my garbage at your feet.”
He leaned back and cupped my face, making me look at him. “Do not piss me off by saying things like that. You are not messed up. You made it out. You are one of the toughest people I know. You lay whatever you need on me. You should talk about it, and I want to be the one you talk to. But if you ever want to see a professional, we will find you the best there is. Just say the word. And listen good, I will never be angry with you for having your own life. You do not need my say-so. You belong to yourself. I do not own you. I like that you tell me things. You do not even have to ask, baby. But I am glad when you do. It means you give a damn. Now, can I ask you something?”
“Yes.”
“Can I come along sometimes? If the club or the shop does not need me, I would really like to see some of your shows. Not because I do not trust you. Because I want to be with you. And because I need to know you are safe. Keeping you safe is my job. If anything ever happened to you, it would fucking ruin me.”
“Jesus, Beast. You really know how to turn a girl to mush.”
He flashed a grin that was all dirty promise. “I know a few other methods, too.”
I laughed and swatted his arm. “I would love for you to come. Do you think maybe some of the guys would come, too? To show Owen some love?”
“You bet your fine ass we can. Now, let us finish eating. Then you and I are getting in the shower. You look pretty good with all that paint in your hair, though.”
I laughed, and we went back inside. Beast told everyone I was fine. He sat and pulled me right back into his lap to finish eating.
“So, Owen,” Beast said, like he was just making conversation. “This tour you have booked. The places get pretty full?”
My eyes went wide. I mouthed ‘oh no’ at Owen. He fumbled a chip off his plate. He stared at me, then at Hex, his face pale. Hex had not been there for my breakdown, and I completely forgot to warn Beast.
“What tour?” Hex asked.
I felt Beast mumble ‘whoops’ into my hair before he hid his face in my neck. His whole body shook with silent laughter.
“This is not funny,” I said under my breath.
“Oh, it is fantastic,” he murmured back. “Bikers live for this kind of mess. We are all a bunch of old ladies when it comes to gossip. We love a good show, especially when it is not our problem. Look.”