Chapter 60 Time for Truth
LISA'S POV
It's been threw months after defeating Sophia's challenge, Moonstone Pack had stabilized into a peaceful routine and I should have felt content.
The pack was thriving under my leadership in ways I had not imagined possible when I first became Alpha.
But I was avoiding my personal life and everyone knew it. I threw myself into Alpha duties with so much focus that it left no time for anything else.
Morning training sessions with warriors bled into afternoon meetings with council representatives and evening patrols along pack borders. I reviewed security protocols and updated defense strategies and met with families who had concerns about their children's education. I fell into bed exhausted every night and told myself I was being a responsible leader who put the pack first.
The truth was more complicated. I was hiding from three men who deserved better than my cowardice.
Emma confronted me gently one afternoon while we were reviewing supply inventories in the storage building. She set down her clipboard and looked at me with concern, I knew it was going to be a long talk.
"The three men in love with you are in limbo," Emma said quietly. "Ryan, Nathan, and Adrian all deserve answers and you are keeping them waiting because you are scared."
"I am not scared," I protested weakly. "I am busy running a pack that almost tore itself apart three months ago."
"You are terrified," Emma corrected but gently. "And it is not fair to anyone, including yourself. Lisa, you cannot hide behind Alpha responsibilities forever."
I wanted to argue but the words died in my throat. She was right and I knew it. I had been using pack duties as a shield against my own heart and the three men waiting for answers they deserved.
Elder Catherine was more direct when she found me in the archives two days later. I was researching historical pack treaties and pretending it was urgent when we both knew it could wait. The musty smell of old books surrounded me and I had been staring at the same page for twenty minutes without reading a single word.
"You have proven yourself as Alpha," Catherine said without beating around the bush, she sat across from me. "Now prove you can be happy as a woman. Those three men deserve answers and you deserve to stop hiding behind pack business like a frightened child."
"What if I choose wrong?" I asked. The question had kept me awake for months.
"What if you choose nothing and end up alone because you were too afraid to risk your heart?" Catherine replied.
"That my dear is worse than choosing wrong. At least choosing means you tried to be happy instead of safe."
I closed the book in front of me and met her eyes. "How do I know which one is the right choice?"
"You listen to your heart instead of your head," Catherine said. "Your head will give you a thousand logical reasons for each option. Your heart will tell you the truth if you are brave enough to hear it."
I realized they were both right. I had been using my Alpha responsibilities as an excuse to avoid the complicated romantic situation and it was cowardly. I owed Ryan and Nathan and Adrian more than silence and avoidance. They had been patient and supportive and loyal and I was repaying them with uncertainty that must have felt like torture.
That evening I made three phone calls from my office with my hands shaking slightly. The sunset painted my office walls orange and gold as I picked up the phone and dialed the first number. Ryan first because he was my mate and deserved priority even if the bond was broken. Nathan second because his patience had been endless and I owed him honesty.
I called Adrian lastly because the distance made it easier to be brave.
"Hi. Can we talk tomorrow evening?" I asked Ryan when he answered. "It's just going to be me and you, no pack business or interruptions. I need to have a real conversation with you."
"Yes," Ryan said immediately. His voice carried hope and uncertainty at the same time. "I will be there. What time?"
"Seven," I replied. "My office."
Nathan agreed just as quickly when I called him next. "The day after tomorrow works perfectly. I have been waiting for you to be ready." I didn't expect that last part.
Adrian's voice was warm through the phone when I reached him at Western Pack. "I can drive down this weekend, whatever you need, Lisa. I will make time."
I hung up after the third call and fell into my couch in silence staring at my calendar. Three conversations that could change everything and I had no idea what I was going to say in any of them.
I was a joke. I felt like a teenager preparing for a first date instead of an Alpha preparing to make a decision that would affect the rest of my life.
I spent the next day anxious and rehearsing conversations in my head that sounded ridiculous when I said them aloud. Emma caught me talking to myself in the training room and raised her eyebrows but said nothing. I appreciated that.
Daniel noticed my distraction during our afternoon strategy meeting. I had read the same paragraph three times without absorbing any information and he finally took the document from my hands with an exasperated sigh.
"Whatever you decide, I am with you," Daniel said seriously. "Just try not to break three hearts simultaneously. That creates political complications I would rather avoid dealing with as future Beta."
"Thanks for the pressure," I muttered.
"You asked for honesty," Daniel replied with a small smile. "Besides, you have faced down challenges from stronger wolves than Sophia. You can handle an honest conversation with three men who love you."
That evening Ryan arrived at my office precisely on time and I had spent an hour setting up the space. Comfortable seating instead of formal desk chairs. Soft lighting from lamps instead of harsh overhead fluorescents. Privacy wards were activated so no one could overhear through the walls or windows. I had even brought in fresh flowers that filled the room with a subtle lavender scent.
Ryan wore dark jeans and a simple shirt instead of his usual Beta uniform and the casual clothes made him look younger. More like the man I had fallen in love with before everything became complicated by rejection and betrayal and broken bonds. His green eyes found mine immediately and I saw vulnerability there that made my heart ache.
"Thank you for coming," I said quietly.
"You called," Ryan replied simply. "I would always come when you call, Lisa. That has never changed."
We sat across from each other and the silence stretched between us like a physical thing. I could hear my own heartbeat while I debated within myself now best to start.
I took a deep breath and forced myself to say the words I had been avoiding for months.
"We need to talk about us. Like really talk."
I watched Ryan's face for a reaction. His green eyes met mine, and it made my breath catch and I saw all the pain and love and frustration he had been carrying for months written clearly across his features. I guess it was better to avoid eye contact.
"I have been waiting three months for you to be ready for this conversation," Ryan said quietly. "I am ready, Lisa. The question is, are you ready to hear things that might hurt? Because I am done hiding behind excuses and half-truths. If we are doing this, we are doing it completely honestly."