Chapter 19

Chapter 19

DIANA THORTON

My journey in life took an unexpected turn when I discovered that I was carrying Alexander's child. The news of my pregnancy sent shockwaves through my world, leaving me grappling with a mix of emotions.

I am overwhelmed, disappointed, and probably a bit scared. It's a complicated situation, and I can't seem to navigate it in any direction.

I have been in bed all morning, questioning myself and wondering how this will impact my personal and professional life.

Am I going to keep this child? Do I have the luxury of keeping this child?

Thinking back to my childhood and remembering how I was told that my mum dropped me off in front of the orphanage, and having a horrible foster experience before I finally met the Thortons, I knew from the get-go that I couldn't bear to give my child a similar experience. Still, I don't have the heart to go through with an abortion.

It's a tough spot to be in and time is running out. I have to make a decision and find a way to move forward and make the best choices for myself and the baby.

My baby...I absentmindedly caressed my stomach as I looked into the mirror. All that alcohol I had... I'm crying...again. My eyes are puffy and red but there is still a well of water behind them.

I'm not naive and was so sure that the sex was protected with a condom. He had one on so how did this happen? Fuck! I should have taken extra precautions. And when he asked me if the child was his, I froze. He was already furious and even fired me, How could I have told him that the baby was his?

My attention is drawn to my phone after it rings for the umpteenth time. Caroline and Celeste have been calling me since last night and as much as it hurts to let it ring to voicemail, I just couldn't bring myself to go over the details and probably tell them about the new update- my pregnancy.

I walk to the nightstand and pick up my phone to reload the gossip site for any updates.

Another thing that crossed my mind was who leaked my identity. I was careful that night and didn't take my mask off. Who sent the anonymous tip?

And I can't find my stupid journal. I slowly fall to my knees and let the tears fall harder.

No, I'm not hurting over my misplaced journal even though I've grown a sentimental attachment to it, it's just an excuse for the free fall of tears.

"You are a stupid, stupid, stupid girl" I smack my arm.

My phone rings again. This time from Gabriel. Must be nice being involved in a controversy. I let it ring to voicemail.

No new article. The last one I read a few hours ago was a post insinuating that I have been fired. The paparazzi must be having a field day in front of the office, or maybe they have a rat in-house that's updating them.

Technically, I am fired. I scoff. Alexander had sent me an email to state my price in return for my silence and even though I have not responded, he went ahead to release a fake point of view. Maybe not entirely fake... I was on alcohol courage.

I managed to whip myself a sandwich while still navigating through my state of dilemma but one thing I've come to realize is that I will work harder and not let this setback dictate the rest of my life. If I eventually choose to abort the baby, I will take charge of the emotional consequence that comes and if I decide to have it, I will give the baby all the love and never abandon him or her. I have already saved enough money so I have a handful to sustain me until I get a job or be my own saleswoman and start selling my products.

On the bright side, maybe this is God trying to shift my focus back to where it all started. Since working for La'Belle, I have not been able to do my own stuff. The only unpleasant ick is why this realization had to be accompanied by a baby.

It took a knock on the door to make me realize that I have been in bed all afternoon, falling in and out of sleep, thinking, more crying, gossip site checking, and a do-over.

I check the time on my phone, it's eight. The knock grows persistent.

"Open the door, Diana. I know you are in there"

It's Celeste. My God! My phone falls down the moment I get up. I made a mental note to retrieve it from beneath the bed later.

Celeste whirls me into a hug the moment I let her in.

"Girl, I heard about it" She sniffles.

"You must be one heck of a mess right now" She added as she sat on my bed.

"Coffee, tea?" I ask politely. I hadn't gotten the chance to thank her for the other night she and Alexander brought me home. It's been a rollercoaster of events that I just seemed to forget about it as quickly as it happened.

"Tea is fine" She responds.

"Girl, the office is in uproar. People were saying mean things about you and I just had to go through hell to defend you. But girl!! You are damn mischievous. Never took you for that kind of girl. I mean you always act so righteous and I sort of figured you couldn't do no wrong. I guess we're alike and you are just a bit more reserved about your feelings"

I am starting to second guess why I opened the damn door for her but I'm even too exhausted to think too much about it.

"Give me the full deets. Did you guys shag after that?"

"No, it was a one-time thing"

"Girl, I must give it to you- you have got balls!!! You fooled our boss."

Celeste phone rings

"It's Caroline. She told me to call her once I got here since you were not picking up either of our calls and she couldn't trip it down here because of her baby" She said quickly before picking up the call.

Caroline may have said she should hand me the phone because she immediately stretched it out for me. I reluctantly collect the phone.

"Hey Caroline"

"Girl, why did you do me dirty? I thought we were friends. I thought we were closer than you avoiding me."

"I'm so sorry," I say meekly

"We already talked about this. Everything will bounce back to normal." Caroline can be so optimistic and I would have felt the same if I were not pregnant.

"Nothing can bounce back to normal, Caroline. Not after what I'm about to tell you"

I turned to look at Celeste and from the pitious look in her eyes, I figured I could trust her with this secret.

She did go to the lengths of defending me.

"I'm pregnant. for Alexander" I blurt out.

Celeste's gasp was loud enough to wake a ghost.

"Oh man" She continues after a few seconds of silence "I can't believe you are pregnant for our boss. This is such a mess!" Caroline responds.

"Tell me about it," I say.

"It's like a plot twist in a crazy drama!" Celeste added, her eyes still wide.

"You must be feeling so overwhelmed and disappointed in yourself."

She continues when I don't respond "But hey, mistakes happen to the best of us. You shouldn't beat herself up over it. I'm also pregnant and the only difference is I am married"

"And have a stable income! You can afford to bring a child into this world but, I can't say the same for me. It's just so unexpected and complicated. You can't begin to imagine how crazy I must be feeling"

"It's a rollercoaster of emotions for sure. But you know what? The Diana Thorton I know is strong and resilient. She can find the strength within herself to handle this situation and make the best choices for herself and the baby. It's also important for her to know that she is surrounded by supportive friends who can provide guidance and love during this challenging time."

Yeah, that's true. I definitely need a strong support system right now.

"And you know what else? This could be an opportunity for you to grow and learn. Life is full of unexpected twists and turns, and it's how we handle them that defines us. Wait, is he aware? Did you tell him?"

"No. I told him he's not the father. He was already furious about my leaked identity and I just could not add salt to the wound."

"God, Diana, I don't even know what to say other than you have to tell him. You can't take away that opportunity from your child should you intend to keep it or, are you aborting?"

"I don't know. I really don't know. I'm confused. This is the most confusing state of my life."

"Life has a way of presenting us with challenges that ultimately shape us into stronger individuals. I do not doubt that you will come out of this stronger and wiser. And hey, if you ever need someone to bounce advice off of or just vent, you can always count on me as a friend. At the end of the day, you know what's best for you and we will support your decision no matter what, without passing judgment." Caroline says

"Thanks, I appreciate that."

"I'll also be here for you every step of the way." Never in a thousand years would I have believed Celeste had such a warm heart.

After Celeste's visit and the talk with Caroline, everything just sort of made me feel somewhat relieved. I scooch down in search of my phone and when I stretch my hand to reach for it, I see my journal.

So this is where it's been hiding. But, I could have sworn I checked this part of the bed meticulously and couldn't find it. Oh well, maybe it was an oversight.

I'm about to start writing when my phone lights up. It's a text from Alexander and it says I can resume work tomorrow morning.

Is this really happening? Never thought I would be so happy about getting back a job I hated. He must have a heart after all.

The father of my baby... This is a fucking big mess and I really wished my foster mum was still alive to be here for me.

Clearly, I went to bed happy and when it was morning, I was eager to return to my cubicle.

I had a quick bath, almost forgetting that I'm pregnant. I'm not having morning sickness, fatigue, and the likes. I'm still thinking about what I am going to do but for now, I am excited about my re-hiring.

I stepped out of my apartment and did not expect the sight in front of me. A group of paparazzi rushed to where I was standing with flashing cameras and recorders.

"Are you truly pregnant for Alexander Stone?" I hear one of the reporters say.

My heart begins to beat really fast. How the hell did this news get out? I am hyperventilating as the flashes grow intense.

My phone vibrates and I read the text from Alexander.

Come to my house now!!!

Oh no, oh no no no.