Chapter 28-2

She buried her face in her hands, hating the way she needed to hide from him when all she wanted to do was open her soul to him. "I was a bad person, Thomas. There's a reason I barely see my mum and my sister hates me, same as there's a reason for why I push away anything that makes me happy. I don't deserve it. "I'm such a hypocrite, you have no idea. I tried to hide in Haven, live as though I was totally open to the universe, but I was actually just trying to find a loophole that would make me feel better about myself. You, falling in love - none of it was in my plan. I'm supposed to be miserable." Warm arms found her and Thomas pulled her into his lap. "I don't believe that. The woman I love is strong and kind and good, and she deserves good things. Whatever you are punishing yourself over, at some stage you'll have to forgive yourself." "I don't think I can, when the people I need to forgive me first are gone forever." Emotion tremored though her, wracking her small body with deep shudders. There. It was almost out now. Any minute now, he'll want to leave. But he didn't. Instead, Thomas stroked her hair and held her tighter. "Ali, I can't fix you - only you can heal yourself. But I can tell you right now, whatever it is, I don't care. All I need to know is that you love me. Anything else, I can deal with." "I hope so." "I promise." They sat on the couch, interlocked together, two halves of the same shape. Sparrow could feel his warmth permeating her being, like toasty air from a heater, filling her up. He was strong. He was a man - her man - and for the first time in her life, she could let go and stop worrying about hurting anyone. Her fingers crept underneath the fabric of his long-sleeved shirt, finding his taut abs and burning skin. Immediately, Thomas' breathing quickened. "Is... Is there anything you want to talk about right now?" "No. I don't want to talk anymore." She stood, brazenly pulling her tee over her head and throwing it across the room. "I want a shower, and I want to fall into bed with you." His eyes were a deep silver, clouded with lust and adoration. "Ali, we have more to talk about." "I know. Soon, but not now." Now, she started shucking out of her jeans, wanting the dense constricting fabric off her skin. As her panties came into view, Thomas swallowed heavily. "I can't deny you anything, you know that." Sparrow unhooked her bra, letting it fall to the floor. "Then don't." She walked to the bathroom, and he followed her like a balloon on a string. For the first time in years, Sparrow could actually feel the shower washing her sins away, as if she might actually become clean again. It helped that Thomas assisted her with the washing, soaping over her skin, cleansing her neck, her limbs, her breasts, between her thighs. Many minutes later, they emerged from the shower, pink-cheeked and breathing heavily. They collapsed to the sheets, the cheap bed groaning as they put it through its paces - but their moans were louder. They fused back together, like a handful of sand dropped on the beach, no one could tell where one began and the other ended. The night turned to morning before they were spent, finally lying back against the pillows, their skin gleaming with sweat. "I don't want to fall asleep," said Thomas, slurring from exhaustion. "Why not?" "Because part of me is worried this is a dream, and when I wake up, you'll be gone." "Not this time." She kissed his shoulder before settling comfortably into his side. "I'm right here." "Love you, Ali..." He was asleep, and she submitted to slumber as well, her soul dancing again. *** "Ali, that hot guy in the corner is totally staring at you!" One of the bargirls elbowed Sparrow excitedly. "He's a total stud! Jump on that, girl!" I did already - twice last night... "Thanks, Margot, but I think for now, I'll just keep doing my job," said Sparrow, grabbing a tray and preparing for another round of glass collection. The pub was packed to overflowing, with people from all over cramming in the doors to see the band Hank had organised. The support act has been great, and everyone was in high spirits, but the bar staff were being run off their feet. As Sparrow passed Thomas' table, he leaned towards her, saying, "You know, if you want to work in a bar, there are bars in Sydney." "Actually, I'd be happy to never work in a bar again after tonight," she grinned, "but I'm glad I stayed to help Hank out. This place is crazy!" "So, is this the part where I ask the sexy barmaid, 'What time do you get off?'" He winked at her lasciviously. "Soon." Sparrow stacked a few glasses from the booth next to him and kept chatting. "I'll have to give notice to Hank as well if we're heading home in the morning." "If you're coming with me. I have to be back in the city early tomorrow, so we need to be up and gone first thing." Stealthily, she slid a hand into his lap. "Well, I promise not to keep you up too late tonight then." "You have no idea how much I need to kiss you right now." He squeezed her fingers gently.