Chapter 27-2
"Taken care of it?" He retracted from her. "What... You did this? You killed our baby?" Lex wanted to stay calm, she truly did, but something about his phrasing instantly made her blood pressure pulse. "I didn't kill anything. I had a procedure." "A procedure to remove a baby." "For God's sake, Otis! It wasn't a baby - it was a bundle of cells!" "Our baby!" He yelled it at her, anger and agony giving his voice depth. "Not cells, Lexi. Our baby. You were pregnant, and you didn't tell me? When did you find out?" She didn't have time to think as she answered, "A month ago, when I went in for my STD test results." Otis did the maths, and it was too late to take it back. "Lexi... We've been having unprotected sex for way longer than that, more than two months. The night of your birthday, when you got the job. You weren't tested?" "Otis..." Helplessly, she shrugged, all her sins spilling between them like an overflowing toilet. "I knew I was clean, I'd done the test, I just hadn't got around to getting my results." "It took you a month?" "I was busy!" she cried, the words sounding feeble even to her. "My safety, Lex!" he bellowed. "You risked my safety because you couldn't be arsed taking half an hour away from your desk to get your god dammed results? And then you lied about it - unforgiveable!" "Otis-" "And even if I forgive that, you had an abortion. I'm not even gonna ask how far along you were, but you and I both know that baby was a month older than it should have been when you did what you did." He sneered at her, her beautiful, warm Otis gone, leaving a bitter, furious stranger in his place. "And you never thought for a second to tell me about any of it?" "There wasn't a point! I did what needed to be done." "According to who? To you? Is that how this works? You run our entire life and I'm just an accessory, like your car or your goddamn handbags." "It's my body!" she fired back. "A woman's right to choose - not the man's to tell her what to do." "Not fucking good enough. You should have told me, about everything." She flinched. Otis never swore and it showed her how close he was to losing it. It was as if she could see him unravelling at the edges; his normally sleek hair rumpled, his eyes wild. "Otis, please, try to understand; I did this for us - for you!" He shook his head, and his eyes were a glassy, cold green. "No, Lex. Don't ever for a second think that you did this for anyone but yourself. You should have told me the second you knew. And yeah, maybe the result would have been the same, but I would have been a part of it." "I was trying to protect you!" "I'm not a little boy, Lex! I'm your partner, your lover. You treat me like a child - are you ever going to see me as your equal?" "But you're not my equal," she said before she could stop herself. He paused for a moment, as if unable to process what she had just said. When he spoke, he sounded a decade older. "Good bye, Lexi." "No, wait, Otis! That's not what I meant!" She was babbling as he started walking for the door, pausing only to pick up his guitar and his coat. "I mean, we're not equal because we're so different, but that's a good thing! You're creative and fun, and I'm smart and driven. That's all! I don't think you're less than me. I love you." If he registered her words, he didn't acknowledge them. "At least tell me why. Why did you do it, and not even think for a second about clueing me in?" "For so many reasons. Otis, we're not ready to be parents, this isn't the right time. My career is just starting to take off, and we need my income. This was the smartest decision." "You mean a financially smart decision. Babies are expensive, aren't they, Lex? So is love, for that matter." His eyes grew bright for a second, but he blinked away the softness. "You killed a part of our love." She exploded, wanting his words to be untrue, to mean less. "Jesus, Otis! It was just an abortion! Women have them all the time!" "Not the procedure. You killed a part of our love the second you chose to hide this from me. I don't know why I ever thought this could work. You say you love me, but you have no idea what the word even means. I was an idiot to think that you might ever be able to change." He shrugged into his brother's coat. "I can't be here right now. I don't..." Suddenly, Lex was weak and shaky. "Don't what?" She reached for his coat sleeve, feeling the worn material warm beneath her fingers. He pulled his arm away. "I don't want to even look at you. I'm not sure I can ever look at you again." Wounded down to her core, Lex crossed her arms over her chest and watched him walk out the door, leaving behind everything except her heart.