Chapter 146 Long overdue

Chapter 146 Long overdue
Dylan's POV

I fucked up.

The thought follows me all the way from Emma's apartment to the hotel.

It follows me into the elevator, into my room, into the shower. It even follows me now as I stand in front of the floor-to-ceiling window overlooking New Jersey, my untouched takeout slowly going cold on the table behind me.

I can't stop seeing her face.

Not the angry one.

That would've been easier to deal with.

It was the disappointed one that won't leave me alone.

Quiet.

Calm.

Like she'd looked at me, accepted whatever conclusion she'd come to, and decided I wasn't worth arguing with anymore.

I drag a hand over my face and let out a tired sigh.

“Fuck.”

The worst part is...

Today had actually been good.

No.

It had been better than good.

Dawn had finally fallen asleep on my chest without screaming her lungs out. Emma had smiled more than once. We'd laughed together. For a couple of hours, everything almost felt... normal.

Like maybe this whole co-parenting thing wasn't going to be as impossible as I'd convinced myself it would be.

Then one stupid notification.

Four stupid words.

And somehow I'd managed to ruin the best afternoon I'd had in months.

I push away from the window and start pacing the room.

Maybe I should go back.

Buy flowers.

Emma likes white tulips.

Or those caramel biscuits she always buys whenever she's stressed.

I could knock on her door, apologize properly and explain everything.

Halfway across the room, I stop.

No.

That wouldn't fix anything.

Emma isn't the kind of woman who can be won over with flowers. If anything, she'd probably shove them back into my hands before I even finished apologizing.

And honestly...

She'd have every right to.

I should've dealt with this months ago.

Kate was never the problem.

I was.

I'd left everything vague because it was easier than having an awkward conversation. Easier than drawing a line. Easier than risking making things uncomfortable.

Now that laziness has finally caught up with me, my eyes drift to the phone lying on the bed.

There's only one way to fix at least part of this.

Not tomorrow. Not next week. Now.

I grab my phone before I can talk myself out of it and scroll until Kate's name appears on the screen.

My thumb hovers over the call button for a second.

This conversation is long overdue.

I press it.

The phone barely rings twice before she answers.

“Hey, babe. You got my text?”

My jaw tightens immediately.

I shut my eyes for a second.

God.

I don't think I've ever hated hearing the word babe as much as I do right now.

“Kate.”

The change in my voice must've caught her off guard. “…Yeah?”

“How many times have I told you not to call me that?”

There's a brief silence before she laughs. “Sheesh. It's just a harmless word. You don't have to be so uptight.”

“It isn't harmless.” The words come out sharper than I mean them to. “It just caused a hell of a lot more damage than you realize.”

Another pause.

“Dylan...” Her voice softens. “Are you okay?”

“No.” I lean against the desk and pinch the bridge of my nose. “I'm really not.”

She goes quiet for a beat. “Did I do something?”

I let out a slow breath.

There's no point dancing around it.

“Look...” I say quietly. “I'm just going to be honest with you.”

The room suddenly feels much quieter.

“Whatever you think is going on between us...” I pause, choosing my words carefully. “It has to stop.”

For a few seconds, she doesn't say anything. Then she laughs, sounding more confused than anything else. “But... there's nothing going on.”

“Kate…”

“No, seriously.” Her tone firms up. “The furthest we ever crossed the line was kissing once.”

She deliberately stresses the last word. “Once. And you called it a mistake before the night was even over.”

“I know.”

“So I honestly don't understand what you're talking about.”

“I do.” I push away from the desk and start pacing again. “And I need you to understand something.”

She goes quiet. “I'm listening.”

“I need you to stop acting like we're something we're not.”

The silence on the other end is different this time.

Colder.

“…Excuse me?”

“The nicknames,” I say quietly. “The flirting. The way you text me.”

I take a slow breath. “It has to stop.”

“D...”

“I'm serious.”

When she speaks again, there's genuine hurt in her voice. “I don't understand where all this is coming from.”

“I know you don't.”

I turn back toward the window, staring at the city lights scattered across the darkness.

“It's a long story.”

“A story I'd actually like to hear.”

I close my eyes. “I found out two weeks ago at the wedding that I'm a father.”

The line goes completely silent.

When Kate finally speaks, her voice is barely above a whisper.

“…What?”

“I have a daughter.”

Somehow, the words still don't feel real every time I say them.

“And I'm trying to be part of her life.” I pause before quietly adding, “And her mother's life too... at least enough for us to raise our daughter together.”

Kate doesn't interrupt.

“I've already missed months I'll never get back.” My grip tightens around my phone. “I can't afford to lose any more because I was too much of a coward to have this conversation.”

Another long silence.

Then she lets out a shaky breath.

“So your solution...” Her voice trembles. “…is to cut me off?”

I shut my eyes. “I know how harsh it sounds.”

“It doesn't sound harsh, Dylan.” She lets out a hollow laugh. “It is harsh.”

I don't argue.

“...But yes.”

Her breathing catches. “No.” The answer comes so quickly it almost overlaps with mine. “No, Dylan.”

“I know…”

“No.” Her voice cracks this time. “I'm not accepting that.”

I rub a tired hand across my forehead. “Kate...”

“I stood beside you when you pushed everyone else away.”

The words come faster now, like she's been holding them in for months.

“You barely spoke to anyone after everything that happened with Emma.”

“I know.”

“You shut everyone out.”

“I know.”

“You wouldn't let anybody in... so I stayed.”

I don't say anything.

“I fucking liked you.”

The confession hangs between us.

“I've liked you for a long time,” she admits with a bitter laugh that sounds suspiciously close to tears. “But I never crossed the line because I knew you weren't ready.”

My chest tightens.

“I even tried setting you up with other women because I didn't want to lose our friendship over one stupid mistake.”

She takes a shaky breath before finishing quietly, “I waited for you, Dylan.” Her voice breaks completely. “I'm not going to let you throw me away this easily.”

I rest my forehead against the cool window. “I'm sorry.”

The words feel painfully inadequate the second they leave my mouth. “I know I sound like the biggest jerk alive.”

“You do.” She doesn't even hesitate.

“But I am sorry.”

Kate sniffs softly. “No.” A quiet pause stretches between us. “I'm going to assume you're just not thinking straight.”

“Kate…”

“You can call me when you've figured yourself out.”

Silence settles over the line again.

Then, just before she hangs up, she says quietly, “I'm not letting you cut me out that easily.”

The call ends.

I slowly lower the phone from my ear and stare at the dark screen for a long moment.

The hotel room somehow feels even emptier than it did before.

A humourless laugh escapes me as I toss the phone onto the bed.

One conversation.

Two women hurt.

Great. Just great.