Chapter 79 79
His own behavior sickened him, and he suddenly wished that he could be completely honest with her about everything. About his plans for BenTel, but he knew that was impossible. She wouldn't understand, and why should she? He had to keep his mouth shut.
Shocked by his own uncertainty, he released her and stepped back. “I’ve been attracted to you for years, Sherry, but the timing was wrong between us. I did look forward to being here with you, and not just because I wanted to ask you to marry me, but is that so terrible? I don't think a marriage between us would be so bad if we worked on it. We’re here now.
Alone. For God knows how long. Won’t you give me a chance to show you? Please?”
He saw her lower lip wobble before she steadied it with small, even white teeth. “I came here to talk about Sunny side. None of this should have happened.”
“But it did,” Justin said firmly. “And you were right there with me. So don’t pretend with me, Sherry. We both stepped into that fire.”
_________
If Sherry had ever been more stricken with mortification, she couldn’t remember it. In many ways, the ramifications of this moment with Justin were even worse than what had happened years ago. At least back then he had written her girlish passion off to immaturity.
Now, in one mad instant, she had revealed her deep vulnerability where he was concerned. Not only to him, but also to herself. She’d been telling herself for years that she was over Justin Covington. The truth was, she was probably still in love with him. She wasn’t exactly sure what that emotion was supposed to feel like. Surely not this nauseous sensation of impending doom.
At twenty-three she had known what she wanted and gone after it. Justin had crushed her budding attempt to be a sexually confident woman. Now, here he was. Gorgeous. Hungry. And ready to take advantage of propinquity and auld lang syne.
If she overreacted, she risked letting him see straight into her heart and her soul. She had to guard both those locations jealousy. Too much at stake to voluntarily open up to the possibility of pain and loss. So she had a choice. She could play this cool, run the show. Or she could let Justin break her heart. Given that pairing, it was really no contest.
Gathering the shreds of her composure, she retrieved her robe, put it on and tied the narrow, ribbonlike belt. The garment was scarcely a shield against his predatory gaze, but the operation gave her a few moments to think. Returning to the fire, she put her back to it, warming herself.
“You’re right,” she said calmly. “I was carried away by the moment. And it does seem as though we share some kind of basic animal attraction.”
He frowned. “I’m not an eighteen-year-old kid, Sherry. Give me credit for at least some discrimination. I don’t have sex with every woman on the street who piques my interest. You’ve been part of my life for a long time, before this shit with Adam happened. And you’re incredibly warm and lovely.”
She forced a smile. “At the moment, the jury’s out on warm, but thank you for the compliment.”
“Something happened between us,” he said doggedly, his fierce gaze daring her to disagree.
“Yes.” Understatement of the year. “Here’s the thing, Justin. I don’t really have the time or the inclination to get involved with anybody right now, much less get married to anyone. You brought us here so we could talk…right? That was supposed to be the plan at first,”
“Yes, but I'd admit I had other motives. I wanted to be alone with you too.”
The weird little happy flutter her heart performed was too “middle school girl” to take seriously. “That’s not a valid reason for doing something stupid.”
“Didn’t seem stupid to me. It felt pretty damned wonderful.”
“There’s more to life than feeling good.”
“Wow, Sherry. When did you turn into a Puritan?”.
He was striking back. Trying to provoke. But the words hurt. She looked at him, really looked at him. The whole package was overwhelming. In Olkfield she could write him off as just another handsome, successful businessman. Here, alone, trapped by the storm, he looked like the kind of man who could keep a woman safe, no matter the circumstances.
She didn’t need a keeper. She had grown up strong, resilient, entirely capable of steering her own life. But when it came to understanding the kind of feminine ways that drew a man in for the long haul, Sherry was clueless.
Justin, by his own admission, was looking to settle down, to start a family. And he'd asked her to marry him, but for the wrong reasons. She wouldn't even make a good wife. He was a man afterall. He probably wanted a nice, sweet, amenable kind of girl to cook him meat loaf, defer to his wishes and run his house barefoot and pregnant. She knew many wonderful women who could hold down full-time jobs and still be damned good mothers and wives. The problem was, Sherry wasn’t one of them.
“I’m not a Puritan,” she said. “I love sex.”
“Prove it.”
“Oh, good Lord. Does that line work for you at your age?”
He grinned. And the sexy flash of white teeth literally made her knees week. When he took two steps in her direction, she was trapped. Flames to the back of her, fire to the front.
“Kiss me again, darling,” he said. “Let me keep you warm.”
Impossible. Utterly impossible not to respond this time. He scooped her into his arms and whispered nonsensical endearments as he proceeded to kiss her senseless. Time. She needed time. How could she formulate a thought when his talented fingers were doing amazing things to her aching breasts? Breathing became problematic. Her lips felt puffy and bruised. All she wanted to do was kiss him more.
He braced one hard, long thigh between her thighs, and the firm pressure there took every last bit of self-control she possessed and tossed it to the winds. She had never been one to second-guess her decisions. Confidence and boldness had taken her far in business and in life. But holy heck, what was she supposed to do in this situation?
“Justin?” She leaned backward in his tight embrace as far as she could, trying to get his attention.