Chapter 119 119
Part of her wanted to be able to accept everything he’d said at face value, the way a child does when they’re worried about monsters under the bed. He rubbed her back and anger bubbled inside her because she loved being like this with him. She wanted things back to the way they’d been before— before the world came crashing down, before he’d betrayed her, except this time, with the baby. Could she find a way to forgive him?
She wanted to let the bad things go, but one thing wouldn’t stop nagging at her. If he had truly wanted her back after the breakup, why didn’t he reach out? Why didn’t he fight for her? It had taken the pregnancy announcement to bring him back into her life, but that didn’t mean he actually wanted to stay.
“Don’t promise that everything will be okay.”
“If you are worried, you will have excellent medical care. We'll find a better doctor if you're concerned about that. You will be in the best possible hands.”
“Thanks a lot,” She said sarcastically and pushed away from him and shook her head.
“What did I do now? I want the best for you and for the baby. You can’t fault me for that.”
Was he really so clueless? “I don't want to change my doctor, Justin. I didn’t pick a random doctor off the internet, you know. I swear. Sometimes you and Adam are so alike it’s ridiculous. Neither one of you trusts me to do what’s right.”
“That’s not true. I trust you implicitly, and I’m sure your brother trusts you, too. He’s just gone through a particularly misguided phase since your father passed away.”
“It almost sounds like you’re defending him. Are you?” She narrowed her stare. It was the first nonvenomous thing that had come out of his mouth regarding Adam. “Because that would be truly weird.”
“I’m only pointing out that Adam is a smart guy. He’d have to be an idiot not to see how amazing you are.”
She rolled her eyes. “Lay it on thick, much?”
“Sherry, come on. I’m just being honest. Can’t we be honest with each other? After everything we’ve been through and with everything we’re about to go through, I think it’s only wise that we’re truthful in everything.”
Truthful? Was he really going to throw that at her now? “Ironic, coming from you.”
He choked back the growl in his throat. “I was protecting you.”
Protecting me. Really? “Tell yourself whatever you need to. That’s not how it felt.”
The driver pulled up to the curb in front of Sherry's building, then got out of the car to open her door. She couldn’t even look back at Justin to say goodbye. That would be too difficult when she was busy grappling with too many emotions. It would be so easy for him to look at her a certain way and she would be hopelessly drawn in, wanting to curl up into him and let him do exactly what he’d promised, the impossible— protect her.
“I’ll call you when they schedule the ultrasound.”
_________
Justin was saddled with the most uneasy feeling he’d ever had. Sherry and their baby were about to leave him. And she was upset. She shouldn’t go upstairs and stew for hours. “Let me come in for a minute. We should talk.”
“I’m tired of talking. And don’t you need to get into the office?”
He was thankful he’d left his phone on vibrate. It’d been going crazy all through the appointment and during the car ride, but she didn’t need to know that his business world might be falling apart while he was out of pocket. “You’re more important right now.”
She shook her head, seeming even more annoyed. “Fine.”
They walked into the building and took the elevator upstairs. He liked feeling like this, almost as if they were a couple again, even if she was mad at him. What would it take for her to want him back? A lot of things, most likely—an absolute guarantee that BenTel was safe from a corporate takeover, a reconciliation with her brother.
“You really want to come in?” she asked once they arrived at her door. She had that icy tone in her voice, as if she were trying to freeze him out.
“I do.” As they walked inside, he couldn’t escape the feeling that this was only half right. He might be clueless about the notion of becoming a father, but he knew that they should be doing this together. If at all possible, this child should arrive with two loving parents, not a mother and a father fighting to remain civil. He didn’t want to upset her, but perhaps it was time to just let her say her piece so they could finally more forward. “Sherry, will you please tell me what I can do to make this better? Right now I feel like I’m stepping through a minefield.”
She pursed her lips. “I’m supposed to stay calm.”
“You’re supposed to avoid stress, and walking around with all of this anger welling up inside of you is not good. Just let it out. Let me have it.”
“Right here? Right now?”
“No time like the present.” He took off his coat and slung it over the back of a chair in the living room. He was ready for her to start yelling and he would sit there and take it until she got it all out. “Like I said, let me have it. Tell me every last thing.”
“I don’t want to rehash our problems. It’s not like you don’t already know how I feel. What bothers me more than anything is what happened after I broke up with you.”
He furrowed his brow. “The Sunny Side deal? Mark found a buyer he wanted to work with. I never meant for that to hurt you.”
“It’s not that. It’s that I never heard from you. You didn’t fight it, you just accepted it and moved on. You didn’t fight for me. That hurt more than anything.”
Good God, if only she knew how much he had not moved on after she ended their relationship. He wasn’t sure he could even own up to that. He’d never been so miserable, a shell of a man. He didn’t want to think of himself like that, the hopeless sap ruminating over his litany of mistakes, staring at the engagement ring he wasn’t sure he’d ever have the chance to give her without her throwing it back in his face.