I Shall Bleed
Cronus's threat to me last night crawls its way into my mind. Intimidation despite him not being present. Perhaps I am taking his threat lightly relying on the depth of our bond but I severely wish to be of some help.
Deimos folds his hands across his chest legs at ease he sways on his heels. He is quiet whilst his eyes sink into mine. Ragon stands behind hands clamped together at his back eyes down facing the floor, he waits patiently for Deimos's order.
"You will leave." Deimos's words are spoken high enough for every wolf to hear. Tone strong words of a true Alpha male.
"Is that an order?" A low growl booms from deep within my chest. An intense questioning look I give him. I dare him with my eyes, he is still the same. Never understanding, never listening. A flash of fang I show him, a sign of my upsetness.
"No. It is a request." He whispers. I am taken aback, he is not commanding rather requesting me to abide? I take a step back scanning him from head to toe struggling to find the truth in his words. "No, mate. You are still the same quick to assume, quick to throw your daggers at me. But I have changed, I listen to you. I understand you." My eyes widen at his words, a counterattack. He saw into me I had forgotten to have my walls up.
"Then listen to me when I say I wish to fight. I want to help you, Deimos." I mutter. Ragon stands behind Deimos still in the same position but I see his conflict. He does not know whether to stay and listen to our conversation or leave to give us privacy.
"The Alpha position is filled. I am the Alpha here. You are the Luna of our pack. If those whom we are in war with get a whiff of your presence here they have already won. Our pack is unguarded with the both of us here. They will attack them with no mercy, a headstart they shall possess over us and must I guess whom shall be their prime target?" Deimos questions.
"Kal." I whisper with a shake of my head taking further steps away from him.
"Indeed. I need you to remember your role. You are not the Alpha anymore, heading into war is not your duty. Yours is to nurture and be the mother of our pack though I know you are more capable than that. I shall call on your strength when I need it. Head back." His words sadden me to the core catching me breathless. Yet his words hold the truth. His words reflect the reality of the hierarchy.
I shut my eyes an inner battle within myself. I am torn apart for two sides are fighting inside me. My wolf snarls her fangs dripping with her saliva on display her fur ruffled she wants to show him her trueness, her strength of what she can handle. What or whom she can bring down.
Deimos waits for my decision with patience that he once did not possess. I give a curt nod of my understanding not meeting his eyes so he is unaware of the presence of my wolf who wishes to come to the surface and take his throat. She feels as though she is being stripped from her true essence by him. This infuriates her immensely.
Ragon is quick to walk out lifting the tent flap for me to follow with ease. With anger that surges within me held at bay, I stride away from Deimos not giving him another glance. Before I take my final step his palm clamps around my wrist halting my movement.
"You risking your life coming here for me shows what you fear to truly feel and say. I shall fight this battle well so I can return home to you and Kal. Will you wait for me, mate?" His voice is soft and soothing. The grip on my wrist tightens gently as if he was unwilling to let me go.
Taking a deep breath digesting his sweet but cruel words to me I remove my wrist from his hold swiftly. Walking ahead still not looking back head held high I whisper, "Kal will wait for you."
The last of him I hear is his loud booming laugh at my words as if he found my antics and words amusing. I follow Ragon to the truck Cronus's promised warrior to escort me nowhere in sight. Perhaps Cronus and Deimos have already talked on this matter.
"Why are you escorting me?" I ask Ragon whilst he opens the passenger door for me to climb in.
"Now that Alpha Cronus's warriors are here there is no need for my presence. Furthermore, Alpha Deimos trusts me to escort you, Luna." Ragon answers whilst he shuts the truck door behind me.
I give him a nod of understanding as he starts the engine. Rolling the windows down allowing the wind to calm my heated cheeks I peek back at the tent. Deimos stands there his emeralds stuck upon my flesh. I feel it, the sudden loneliness and lack of warmth he feels. His want to cage me and keep me with him at all times. I understand it.
Because I feel it too, Deimos. But I shall never tell you that. We shall remain the same way we are, not enemies, not friends, not lovers. We shall be something that possesses no title merely being close yet somehow utterly devastatingly far from the other.
The journey back to our pack was better than my own. Ragon was there to lighten the mood, my upsetness with him drifting away. He would guard me whilst I washed in the cold streams and would hunt food for me for we had none with us.
He would ask me of my past life and family and I would answer him with no hesitation. It was no secret I wished to hide anymore, it was neither an embarrassment nor memories I wished to forget. They made me who I am today.
Ragon knew the path back home with all its shortcuts and turns. There was no need for maps or directions he made the journey smooth and stress-free. He made it into a short trip and I somehow felt grateful.
When we sneaked into our pack with Elriam's help I was held captive by her embrace as she told of me how worried she was for me and how Kal had dealt well with my disappearance. My male was truly strong he brought me pride.
The pack did not question much of my whereabouts holding their respect to my title and private choices and Ragon was there to help water down the fire of questioning and curiosity with his talks of Deimos and the war diverting the topic swiftly.
Deimos had arrived with his warriors a week later bruised but not scarred. He had fought well as he promised me. We all had waited at the gates for them, my heart rejoiced and skipped beats when he stepped onto our lands whilst his scent lulled me closer to his flesh. Kal had awoken briskly whilst he dangled his limbs shrieking demanding his greeting from his father.
The females sang their song of welcome and victory running into the open arms of the males they held dear to them. Deimos watched me keenly perhaps he hoped that I would do the same and run to him. But that look he held in his eyes showed me he knew. He knew I would not have granted what he wished for.
We formally acknowledged each other for all to witness as a positive sign of our bond. Despite how worn out and tired he was he made sure to deal with the overgrown fear of the wolves. However, what surprised us was another foreign truck, not ours that entered our pack lands carrying females and pups huddled together at the back.
Confusion was what had struck me at first but the way Deimos had looked at them was not of disgust or fury but understanding. They were members of the independent pack, he had given them a choice. They could die on their pack lands or return here with him under his rule. He would protect them, he would provide for them. A new life he offered them and they followed with no hesitation.
Our pack members were upset with this drowning in fury for they did not wish them to filthy our pack lands with their disgusting bloodline after all it is under their Alpha's command many of ours were killed. But I had taken the first step and reached forward. I held my hand up for the females to take and climb down the truck. This action had silenced our pack and surprised those in the truck. They watched me with widened eyes and trembling bodies.
This action of mine had also brought a soft prideful smile on Deimos's face as he watched on. One by one I comforted and welcomed them into our lands. It did not matter that they held enemy blood what truly mattered was that they needed a place to call home. They needed the right path to walk upon.
That night Deimos and I sat together in his office to discuss the future of these new wolves. An official ceremony would be held to welcome them in as pack members only and if they proved themselves as trustworthy. It was the first time in a long time him and I smiled at one another. His emeralds shone brighter than ever under the moon's light. A beautiful specimen I had thought.
Whilst the females and pups slowly started to assimilate into our pack Deimos had begun to teach me the art of knives, something I was quite unfamiliar with. It was an art taught in his pack to the future heirs. An art Kal must learn with vigour.
It was unusual to strike your partner with a knife whilst sparring for knives were throw from a distance aimed straight for the kill. But with Deimos, I learn new things every day. He challenges me, he helps me grow stronger.
"Your strikes at me are pup like. If I can surpass you like this, so will the enemy." Deimos yells easily dodging my attacks as if he could predict them. "Find my weak point."
Chest heaving fury rising I glare at him sinking my teeth into my lips trying to shut the words that wish to spill. Despite his relentless harsh training Deimos is distracted today, his mind seems elsewhere. He is troubled, he is in fear. It reflects on the training no matter how hard he is trying to hide from my eyes.
From a distance, I see the female who has haunted my dreams the past nights. She watches us train with curiosity her eyes often stuck upon my flesh. I remember the first time I saw her when helping her down from the truck. The way tears came forth swiftly, the way my lungs were briskly deprived of air, the way my soul wept. Her resemblance to the female of sin was unbearably close.
The elders were drawn to her just as I was. They praised the goddess saying it was the return of the female of sin. Saying this was meant to be that it was the moon's plan. Deimos stared at her as well his eyes wide and cautious and he knew just then. He and I shall be back to step one once again.
This female is nothing like the female of sin rather she is kind and sweet and truly beautiful. The males are drawn to her beauty their eyes linger on her flesh thirsting for her hips, her breasts. But when I see her all I am reminded of is his betrayal. A constant reminder of what our path is.
I struggle to breathe lips quivering the knives in my hand tremble with the weight of my heavy heart. I can never truly be free from this, I am cursed. The memories of what I had been through five months ago despite my struggle to slow healing creeps to the front of my mind.
This is a coincidence some say, this is fate the others say. This is my shame I say and this is a punishment Deimos says. He ignores her like the plague, it has become a sort of trauma for him. He cannot stand being close to her, it kills him because he knows I shall bleed.