Bare Your Soul To Me
WARNING :- This chapter contains heavy sexual content not suitable for young readers.
The loud crash scaring me further. He rushes towards me, eyes filled with concern. "What are you doing, Lumina? You could have hurt yourself!" His voice reprimanding me.
I tremble beneath his gaze in fear he will see the pill I am hiding. He places his palm upon my cheek looking into my eyes. "Are you alright, my female?" He asks filled with worry.
"Yes I was thirsty and you scared me. I couldn't find any glasses." I whisper as he chuckles lightening up the mood.
"You could have told me so. Why did you run here like a little lamb? Must be a bad wolf chasing you." He utters with mischief walking to a small cabinet hidden in the corner, taking a glass out. Bringing it to the sink he fills it up with cold water to help calm the heat of my flesh.
He gives it to me and I quickly take it from him. I see the first hint of confusion in his eyes for I took the glass with my left hand. I never use my left hand. The second hint comes when he looks into my eyes and finds fear.
Paying not much attention to it he whispers with a kiss upon my head, "I will prepare the bath for us. Come after you are done." Walking past me he begins to leave as a sigh of relief passes through my lips. Turning my back to him, I take sips to calm my thirst still clutching the pill tightly in my right palm.
"Open your right hand, Lumina." Deimos speaks from behind me and I flinch eyes widening. My body begins to shiver and I know that he knows. I cannot hide anything from him. I have been caught.
Turning around slowly I face him. I have two choices here. I can lie or show my truth. "W-What?" I ask him.
Clenching his jaw, eyes upon my closed fist hiding behind my back. "Don't make me repeat myself. Open your hand." He says.
Placing the glass of water upon the counter my stubbornness surging forward. "I do not wish to." I say looking for a way to gulp it down. Time is ticking and I cannot waste any longer.
A snarl leaves his lips as he grabs my wrist with a crushing force banging me upon the counter. I fight him with every strength I have left and he overtakes me quickly. "Fuck the water." I whisper and thrust the pill into my mouth.
His eyes widen as he pushes his finger into my mouth making me gag. I begin to choke, my nails sinking into the flesh of his wrist scratching pushing him to let me go. But he doesn't and keeps searching within my mouth until he gets ahold of the pill before it could slide down my throat.
My chest heaves and I refuse to look at him. He analyzes the pill frowning confused as to what it is. "What the fuck is this?" He questions. He doesn't know whether to be concerned or furious. My answer shall guide him.
I can see the wheels turning within his head, his mind trying to deny his accusations. He wishes to know but he also doesn't in fear of the answer. Without another glance, he rushes into the bedroom. His are strides deep as his heel pounds the floor harshly with his fury.
I can feel the anxiety radiating from him in waves, such an uncomfortable feeling. In a few seconds, he returns with my handbag. As soon as he is near, he empties the contents upon the kitchen counter. I allow him to. I cannot fight the truth.
His fingers swipe through the contents until he finds the empty pill strip. He winces trying to read the label. With shaking hands, he struggles to find calmness. His eyes widen as soon as the label registers in his mind.
His hands shake further that he cannot seem to even hold the strip anymore as it falls to the ground. Tears well in my eyes as soon as he removes his barrier of the mind and I can read him like an open book.
"We usually provide this to our females who were raped. Am...am I raping you, Lumina?" He asks of his misunderstanding keeping his eyes forward not even glancing at me.
I shake my head as tears fall down my cheeks. I cannot face him. Shuffling closer to him trying to place my palm upon his flesh, he slaps it away not allowing me to do so. I can see the quiver of his lips, the heaves of his chest, and the tremble of his entire being.
"Why?" He asks. I cannot seem to answer him and I only do so by my whimpers. He eyes the strip upon the floor and finally looks at me to meet my eyes. "Where is the other pill, Lumina?" He questions.
I look down at my feet as silent tears fall. "I see." He says voice calm and collected yet I can feel the destruction I have done to him surging within.
"I-I h-had to." I whimper.
"Did anyone force you, Lumina?" He asks and I flinch to his tone quickly shaking my head in denial. "Then you didn't have to."
"I d-did it for u-us." I stutter hard unable to speak properly for his thoughts become mine. I want him to understand why I did it.
He doesn't meet my eyes again. "You knew I would not be able to help it but fill you with my seed so you came prepared, yes?" Another arrow to my heart and his.
"I-It is not like that, my male." I whisper. I want to hold him, to comfort him and explain but I cannot seem to, the guilt eating me out.
Clenching his fist trying to reign in the emotions that demand control. He takes a small step backward away from my warmth and I take a step forward bringing him back. "No I was wrong, I made you do this. I wasn't clear enough with you." He faces hate towards himself and disappointment towards me.
"Please." I beg but I do not know the reason why I am doing so.
"Do you know what would have happened if you swallowed the second one, Lumina? We might not have been able to have a pup for the coming years." He whispers taking another step back.
"Deimos." I whimper trying to get closer to him as he takes steps backward.
"Let's pray that the first pill you have taken doesn't harm your body. I am going to take a shower." He whispers turning around heading inside as I slide down to the ground sobbing my heart out.
My heart hurts, the pain of his and mine together as one. I can feel it. Doubt consumes me, it isn't mine but his. I can feel his barriers rising once more blocking me completely from his thoughts. Why couldn't I just open my mouth and explain?
With small steps, I walk towards the bedroom my wolf providing her strength to carry my worn-out body. As soon as the bed comes into view I throw myself upon it curling into a ball afraid of what destruction my decision would bring within us.
Picking up the phone I call Elriam. I need help. She picks up after the first ring. "Alpha? Is everything alright?" She questions tone on the edge of concern. Clamping my palm across my mouth I try to hide my sobs.
"I-I did s-something. I think he hates me now." I whisper.
"He can never hate you no matter what you do. You are his female, Alpha." She replies calmly trying to calm my fear. The only male I ever talk to her about is my male and she knows this.
"I took it." I say quickly like a clean strike of a sword. No hesitation with her.
"Took what?" She asks not understanding what it is I am saying.
"I-I took a birth pill." I say. A sudden gasp of surprise and silence follows for she doesn't speak a while registering my words in her mind.
"Oh goddess, what have you done Alpha?" She says as her voice begins to shake.
"I thought it was the best solution. I was wrong, it harmed the both of us." I reply controlling my emotions.
"How many did you take?" She questions.
"One. Just one. Deimos stopped me before I could swallow the other." I respond. A sigh of relief passes her lips.
"As soon as you return we need to check the effects of it on your body. I shall pray tonight that it hasn't harmed your future." She whispers. A click of the bathroom door and I know he is returning.
"I need to go. I shall call you later." I utter quickly cutting the call. He enters in drying his hair with a towel whilst another covers his bottom torso.
I get up into a sitting position watching him like a predator. Analyzing his every move, every reaction. My eyes follow him as he grabs some clothes for the night from the suitcase. He neither glances at me nor speaks to me.
As soon as he is dressed he comes towards me. Palms under my armpits he lifts me so I can wrap my legs around his waist. I hug his shoulders nose against his neck as small whines of apology are let out from my lips.
Carrying me inside he places me softly into the tub filled with warm water. Pumping some shampoo in his hands he massages my scalp with utmost gentleness. I wish to talk to him but I don't as I feel the tension radiating from him.
Lathering me up with soap he picks up the hand shower and washes me from head to toe. His way of taking care of his female. Is he not angry? Or is he hiding it from me? Why have I not met face to face with his fury or pain?
As soon as I am washed my male picks me up wrapping me in a soft towel so I am kept warm. "Get dressed. I will make dinner." Is all he says as he walks out of the bedroom without another glance. He is warm but cold at the same time to me.
Whilst he makes dinner I keep my distance from him. There is no laughter or any kind of talk for that matter only a cold silence. Each burning with their thoughts.
Dinner is quiet. We sit apart from each other I try to make small talk but he answers are frank and short. My heart breaks with the way he is with me and I know my decision broke his too. I don't seek him anymore giving him the distance he wishes.
Whilst I am munching on the leftover bomboloni that he made, Deimos cleans up the kitchen preparing the ingredients for tomorrow's meal. I wait for him patiently sitting on the sofa watching the raindrops roll down the windows.
The rain is yet to stop, the storm seeing no end. It has poured the entire day and still is doing so. "I am going for a run." He says zipping up his jacket. I quickly kneel on the sofa turning around to face him.
"N-Now? It is raining." I whisper.
"It doesn't matter." He says striding towards the door.
"Do you want me to accompany you?" I ask him meekly as he shakes his head in denial.
"No, I wish to be alone for a while." And with that, he walks as the main door slams shut behind him.
Silence envelopes the entire house and my wolf lets out a small whine. She is unhappy and so am I. I don't want to be separated like this. I don't like this at all.
Time ticks and I wait patiently on the sofa my eyes glued to the door. A small sound would have my attention. Hours have passed and he is still to return. The rain hasn't stopped yet and I fear perhaps he isn't going to return. Tears well in my eyes as I try to deny it.
The doorbell has me springing to my feet dashing to the front door banging the door open. "Deim-" I begin to call my male's name but stop when my eyes find another male from Giovanni's pack. He bows as soon as he sees me.
"Luna Lumina." He greets with a smile. I nod in acknowledgment covering myself with the blanket tighter. My wolf disliking the fact that there is another male present during our heat. "I was ordered last week to give this to you today at midnight stroke." He whispers handing me a bouquet.
Confused I take it from him wondering from who it could be. Had Elriam sent it to make me feel better? "Have a good night." He says with a smile bowing and strides back to his car.
Inspecting the flowers I head to the kitchen counter so I can place it in a vase. My eyes find a letter hidden beneath the petals and I quickly pluck it out opening it to have a read.
To my light,
I am not so good with words so I thought I would write what often swims in my mind. All my life I had never felt true warmth or love rather I did not even know the meanings they possessed, then I was blessed with you. With your soul. Something I truly do not deserve. You showed me. What it is like to feel it. To possess these feelings that are out of this world. I wish to share these feelings, my female. Not with just you but with a life we create together.
I want to have a pup with you, Lumina. I wish to start this journey with you. There is no one for me but you. Always and forever.
Your male,
Deimos
Loud sobs leave my lips as tears blur my vision. He had wanted to tell me today. He had wanted to surprise me. He wants this, he had always been wanting this with me. I was wrong, I was so very wrong.
The sound of the door opening has me running to him. I know he is home. As soon as he sees me his eyes are filled with concern thinking something went wrong. I jump, my legs clamped around his waist. Hands around his neck lips upon his throat.
I kiss his forehead, his eyes, his nose, his cheeks, and lips. I slather my kisses all over his face pecking him as loud wails leave my lips. His palms are underneath my bum holding me up carrying me as if I were a pup.
"I am sorry. It is my fault. I didn't know. I was scared for our future. Please forgive me." I keep whispering these words between sniffles and sobs over and over again. Grabbing the back of my neck pulling me forward he has his lips on mine taking my mouth in a harsh kiss, fangs sinking into my flesh tongue thrust deep into my warmth.
"Never hide from me again, Lumina. Bare your soul to me." He commands eyes burning in fire and I submit to his words.