The Lantern Festival
Lately I have been feeling something so often. It is a warm feeling that strikes right at my heart and flows through every part of me. It's so overwhelming that sometimes it brings tears to my eyes. It doesn't come and go like with Deimos. It stays and continues on to daylight.
I don't know how long it has been since I have left Deimos's pack. I haven't been counting nor worrying about it. How could I when Cronus never lets me. Every time he senses a change on my expression or my emotions, he directly kills it with his jokes or with something surprising. He is every female's dream in terms of a mate. His female will be very lucky to have him.
I have learnt a lot about Cronus's pack as well. They resemble their Alpha. They welcomed me with open arms not judging me by neither my past nor present. The entire pack the males, females and the pups have helped me so much, often making me laugh and making me try out new things. Their rules and traditions are completely different than Deimos's pack. More relaxed and easygoing.
The pack has been preparing all week. Putting up lights, decorating. Excitement from the unmated wolves saturates the air. The females have been preparing enormous amount of food while the males are often out hunting. And Cronus has been busy with the preparations.
Apparently, Cronus's pack holds something known as The Lantern Festival each year. Unfortunately, I don't know the meaning of it. But Cronus promised he would explain it for me today.
"Alpha." A female calls out to me as I turn around and look at her. Cronus's pack call me Alpha and not Luna. They respect my title and say no matter what I am an Alpha and that will not change, strengthening my pride. "Alpha not there please put them inside the warehouse." She tells me as I nod.
Walking inside the warehouse I place the basket of lanterns into its designated shelf. I have been taking part in helping the pack with the preparations as well. I want to take part in their excitement. It feels like a family.
As I look at the whole picture, I realize the effort made by the pack. The shelves are completely filled and some overflowing. This is more than the number of wolves in the pack. Why are there so many?
As I exit the warehouse my eyes find Cronus as he hands a flower to a pup. She giggles and twirls in her tiny dress as he chuckles and ruffles her hair. As his attention turns to me, I clear my throat and look away.
"Luna." He says as he walks towards me with his gentle smile as always. "How are you today?" He asks me as I stretch.
"Very good, thank you. I've been helping out with the lantern baskets." I reply with a smile looking back at the warehouse.
"Do you like it here?" He asks me hesitantly to which I frown.
"Of course! I love it here! It's peaceful and welcoming. It is everything I have wanted." I smile to him as he hears my truth. "Cronus, speaking of the lanterns I was wondering-" As I begin to question him Cronus cuts me off.
"Luna, Deimos has been calling." He tells me to which I look away. "Everyday." He tells me once more.
"That has nothing to do with me." I tell him, my voice stern and strong.
Cronus sighs as he combs his hair with his fingers. "Luna, he wishes to speak to you that's all. I think it is right that you at least hear him out." Cronus tells me gently as my anger seeps to the brim.
"What? That is absolutely absurd! Why must I when-" I am cut off once more with the ring of Cronus's phone.
"Speak of the devil and he doth appear." Cronus sighs as he picks up the phone. "Deimos." Cronus greets as he looks at me.
I clench my jaw. Yes, I miss him. Yes, he is my male and yes, I wish to hear his voice. I think about him as I lay awake on my bed during cold nights yet I cannot seem to find it in me to just... speak to him.
"She is right in front of me." The second Cronus tells those words my face snaps to him.
I fist my hands as they begin to shake and I speak in a loud voice. Loud enough so Deimos can hear on the other side.
"I do not wish to speak to him! I do not wish to see him. I do not wish to do anything with a liar and a cheat. I am happy here and so will I remain. I will stay here till the day I die!"
I scream the words out and walk away from the situation fuming. Not at him but me. I am a hypocrite. I let anger get the best of me and said the opposite of what I actually wanted to.
Climbing the small green hill, I sit upon the soft blanket of grass, my arms hugging my knees my hair covering my face. Why must I go through all this? Why cannot things just be easy for me just once. Is that so hard to come true? I quietly question the moon goddess pouring out the pain of my heart.
I hear footsteps coming towards me as the wolf shuffles around and finally sits by my side. As I look to my side, I see Cronus tilting his head.
"Hi." He speaks.
"Hi." I whisper.
"You are upset." Cronus tells me gently to which I softly sigh.
"I am trying not to be. I don't like this feeling. I want too always be happy. Sometimes I wonder if I am asking for too much." I tell him looking up at the sky.
"No, you are not, Luna. I understand Deimos is hard to deal with. Well, that's mainly due to his past. He has always been this way. A heart protected by strong walls. Life did that to him and he thought that's how life will be. But then you come along and land right into his circle surprising him. I think he just doesn't know how to deal with it." Cronus explains to me.
"Deal with what?" I ask him frowning.
"How you make him feel." Cronus replies with a smile.
"He feels nothing for me, Cronus." I tell him shaking my head.
"He does. He definitely does. A lot." Cronus whispers holding my hand.
"What about you? What about your feelings?" I ask him remembering of his confession to me a few months ago.
"I still have them. And since you are present here in my pack, they overflow thinking about how wonderful it would be if you were mine but I bury those feelings. Because no relationship can ever win over a bond created by destiny." He says as a smile filled with sadness takes over his face and my heart clenches.
"Maybe it can. Perhaps with time I can learn to lov-." I try explaining my views as he holds and clenches my hand softly.
"You must understand this, Luna. There is nothing in this world. Nothing! That can ever break the bond Deimos and you possess because it is something that holds power. More powerful than the relationship we have." Cronus smiles once more and I slowly nod grasping his words.
"I understand. But what I don't understand is why are there so many lanterns in the warehouse and what is this lantern festival?" I question him as he chuckles.
"Curious, are we?" Cronus asks gently as I nod with a serious look on my face.
"Tell me." I ask him filled with curiosity.
"It's for when the other packs gather here at my land and send out lanterns into the sky. Myths say that the lantern will reach your loved one. The one you miss the most and the one you really wish to see. You can even write something on it. More than that the sight is amazing. It's my packs tradition. We do it every year and some even find their mates." Cronus tells me gently.
I tilt my head to the side questioning this myth. "Seems untrue to me." I tell him to which he smiles.
"Believe and it will happen, Luna." Cronus tells me with a smile as we both look forward at the sight of fresh pastures and birds.
I spend the rest of the day with Cronus's pack, helping the females and preparing the lanterns. It's a wonderful feeling for me and one I like a lot. As the sun sets, excitement pools into the air. Wolves are getting dressed for tonight. Apparently, they let the lanterns into the sky at midnight.
"Alpha!" The juvenile males call out to me. Usually, juvenile wolves tend to be disrespectful and out of control especially the males. But these wolves are just.... sweethearts.
"Yes." I turn around and look at them with a smile.
"Would you like help with something?" They ask me politely to which I smile further, shaking my head.
"Nothing I cannot handle." I tell them gently to which they bow. "But I do wish to ask you all something. Come closer." They nod and huddle closer to me.
"Yes Alpha?" One of the young males speaks up.
"So, which of you pups are excited for a chance to find your female tonight?" I ask them with a sly smile as their cheeks heat up and turn to a bright red.
"Simon, Alpha! He even writes letters to her every night and keeps them in his drawer though he doesn't even know who she is. It is addressed to My Beautiful Mate." One of the males tells me as the others laugh making fun of him.
"Simon take a step forward." A young wolf with hair painted in the color of sand comes forward. His eyes cast down to his feet and cheeks bright red. "Your mate will be very lucky to have you." I tell him gently as the young wolves standing behind him stop laughing and look up at me. Simon snaps his head to meet my eyes.
"Why Alpha?" They ask me with curiosity.
"Because he is the one who is prepared and waiting." I tell them gently. As the young males begin discussing within themselves, I glance at my watch and notice that it is time to get ready. "Alright time for you pups to look smartly dressed so off you go. Perhaps the rest should write letters as well." I say to them as I walk away from them and stride into the house.
Taking a warm shower, I get dressed into a short white dress. Combing through my hair I wonder how pleasant tonight is going to be. I cannot help but be excited to see the sight when all the lanterns are up in the sky.
A few hours later I see the arrival of new wolves from other packs. A lot of juveniles and mates are gathering. Feeling a bit nervous I search for Cronus. My eyes find him in the crowd as he shakes hands with other Alphas and is welcoming everyone.
Not wanting to disturb him I head towards the females prepared to help them with anything and help them I did. I gave out lanterns to every incoming guest. A lot of them just stared in awe making me extremely uncomfortable and some were sweet enough to have a small chat, asking about me and my title.
"Luna. How's it going?" Cronus asks me sneaking up behind me.
"Pretty good. Are there more coming in?" I ask him looking at the entrance.
"Yes, I suppose. You don't need to do this anymore. Why don't you go ahead and find a spot? I'll come find you. Take this lantern and this pen. Write whatever you want on it." Cronus smiles gently pushing me towards the crowd.
As my eyes search for a spot through the crowd I find one in the middle. Though I will be surrounded I didn't mind. Cronus will be here soon. Reaching the spot, I kneel on the floor not giving a second thought of my white dress. I think of what I want right now holding the pen in my hand.
Closing my eyes, I think. What is it that I want? What do I wish desperately for at this moment? Opening my eyes, I write down the first thing that comes to my mind.
I want to see him. I want to see my male.
Reading through the words I wrote I scoff to myself. So much for running away and I am back to square one. As I look around, I see couples everywhere smiling and talking to themselves. I was the only wolf standing alone.
After a while as I wait for Cronus, I hear the sound of a loud bell as it thunders through the crowd. It's for telling us to hold the lantern up facing the sky. As the wolves begin lifting their lanterns up, my eyes search anxiously for Cronus. I don't want to do this alone.
All of a sudden, I feel the weight of my lantern decreasing and someone seems to be holding the other side of the lantern and I chuckle. "Cronus you are finally here; I was waiting for you. Why are you-." I am cut off by the sound of another clang of the bell. "Alright, time to let this go." I smile as we both lift the lantern higher and finally let go of it into the sky.
I look up at the sky watching our lantern softly swift through the air while joining the others and I laugh softly. The sight is beautiful. The sky is filled with light.
"It's beautiful just as you said Cronus." But Cronus doesn't reply and silence greets me.
As I finally glance towards my right to look at Cronus my eyes widen. My heart stops its beats and my breath drowns in my throat while my mind becomes blank as my body shakes and shivers. The male in front of me finally opens his mouth and he utters one word.
"Mate." He speaks.
"Deimos." I whisper.