Chapter 39 THIRTY-NINE
When Brienne woke up, she was very sensitive to smell. She felt sick to her stomach as soon as the faint smell hit her. She ran to the bathroom so fast that she just barely had time to empty her stomach.
Leaning against the sink, she rinsed her mouth and splashed cold water on her face. As she stepped out, her eyes fell on the bouquet of flowers sitting on the bed. The sight—and the lingering fragrance—made her grimace.
"Ugh," she muttered, shaking her head as she grabbed a tissue to wipe her face. It had been a week since she left Raven’s house, and every day since, she had received flowers, letters, and food from him. Some of the food she managed to eat, but much of it ended up in the bathroom, her sensitive stomach rejecting the smells and tastes. Her gaze softened as she looked at her belly, her hand instinctively resting over it.
"So, you’re not a fan of your daddy’s flowers now, huh?" she whispered with a faint smile, gently rubbing her belly.
Turning back to the bed, she grabbed the latest letter tucked among the bouquet and carefully opened it.
Darling,
I don’t know where to begin, but I need to tell you how sorry I am. Hiding the truth from you was a mistake, one I regret deeply. Please, give me a chance to explain everything.
I love you.
Raven
Brienne’s heart clenched as she read the words. She folded the letter and placed it on the drawer Janice lent her. Despite the pain, anger, and fear she felt, a small part of her couldn’t deny that she loved the man, that she had fallen for him.
Brienne stepped out of Janice's room and noticed a note on the table. It was from Janice, letting her know she had already left for work. Brienne, on her leave of absence, was once again left to herself.
She sat down at the table with a small plate of food and quietly started to eat. The apartment was very quiet, and she let out a sigh as she looked around at the vacant space.
Brienne’s phone suddenly rang, breaking the silence. She grabbed it from the table and saw Janice’s name flashing on the screen. Quickly, she answered, setting her spoon down.
"Nice? What’s wrong?" she asked, her voice laced with concern.
"Bree! Turn on the TV and switch to the news channel—now!" Janice said, her tone urgent.
Brienne's heart skipped a beat. Right away, she got up and grabbed the remote from the table. Her hands were shaking a little as she turned on the TV and quickly changed channels until she found the news. The reporter's voice could be heard all over the room.
"Breaking news: Convicted criminal Jasper Maddens has been found dead under mysterious circumstances..."
Brienne stared at the screen.
"Bree, are you there?" Janice’s voice pulled her back to reality. Brienne gripped the phone tightly, her gaze still fixed on the television.
"Y-Yeah, I’m here," she said.
"I'm sorry, Bree. I know I shouldn’t bring this up because he’s your ex-boyfriend, but..." Janice began hesitantly.
"It’s alright, Nice," Brienne interrupted gently. Her tone was calm, but there was a hint of sadness. "I don’t feel anything for him anymore—just pity. He was so young to die this early." She reached for the remote and turned off the TV. Janice sighed on the other end of the call.
"He was, but maybe this was his karma. He scammed and cheated so many women... it was bound to catch up with him eventually," she said and changed the topic. "By the way, are you alright over there? Raven came over earlier to give me a paper bag, which I placed on the couch. It looks like a bunch of books," she added.
Brienne glanced at the couch, noticing the bag for the first time. Curious, she walked over and peeked inside. Sure enough, it was filled with books.
"Nice, I’ll call you back later, okay?" she said softly, her focus shifting.
"Alright. But if anything happens, call me, okay?" Janice replied before ending the call.
Brienne sat down on the couch and took each book out one at a time. She touched the covers with her fingers, and her chest got tight with emotion. These weren’t just random books—they were her favorites. Raven remembered exactly what she liked—right down to the types of books and authors she liked.
A lump formed in her throat as her eyes welled up with tears. Hugging one of the books close, she let out a quiet sob, overwhelmed by the bittersweet gesture. Despite everything, he still knew her so well, and that thought both comforted and hurt her at the same time.
Raven took a long sip from his water bottle, leaning back in his car seat. He glanced toward the apartment building, his gaze distant. With a sigh, he tossed the empty bottle onto the back seat.
"I miss you, darling," he whispered, closing his eyes. The ache in his chest grew heavier with every passing day. Life without Brienne felt like pure torture. He couldn’t focus; he couldn’t think. Every moment was consumed by thoughts of her—her face, her laughter, the way she lit up his world.
A sharp knock on the car window snapped him out of his daze. Startled, his heart raced as he turned to see Brienne standing just outside. For a moment, he froze, unable to believe his eyes. Panicking, he quickly rolled down the window.
"D-Darling?" His voice trembled, both hopeful and fearful.
"Follow me," she said softly, but you couldn't tell what she was thinking. She didn't wait for him to answer before walking back to the apartment.
Raven quickly got out of the car and locked it before running after her. It seemed like he was stuck in a dream because every step felt strange. Brienne had already called Janice and Sherry earlier to ask if it was okay to talk to them in their apartment. They both agreed, knowing that Brienne and Raven needed to talk about their problem.
Inside, Brienne closed the door behind them and walked to the couch, sitting down. Raven hesitated for a moment before taking a seat across from her.
For a moment, silence filled the room. Brienne studied him, noticing how much he had changed in the short time they’d been apart. His unshaven beard, the disheveled hair, and the dark circles under his eyes all painted a picture of a man who hadn’t slept or cared for himself in weeks. The proud, confident Raven she knew was nowhere to be seen.
"What were you doing outside the apartment, Raven?" she finally asked, her tone calm but firm.
"I-I..." Raven faltered, his voice breaking. He swallowed hard, struggling to find the right words. "I couldn’t stay away. I just needed to be close to you, even if it was from a distance. I’ve missed you so much, darling," he added.
"Please, Brienne, just give me a chance to explain everything," Raven said softly, his voice trembling with desperation. Brienne looked down, her hands clenched tightly into fists.
"Honestly, Raven? I’m still scared of you." Her voice wavered as she whispered. Allowing him into the apartment had taken every ounce of courage she had. The image of him transforming into a wolf haunted her, and the fear lingered in the back of her mind. Raven’s chest tightened. He leaned forward slightly, his expression pleading.
"I—I would never hurt you, darling," he said, his voice barely audible. Brienne met his gaze, her eyes filled with doubt and hurt.
"How can you say that, Raven? You hid the truth from me. You lied to me," she said.
"I did it to protect you," Raven replied, his words heavy with regret. Brienne shook her head, her pain evident.
"Protect me? How long were you planning to keep it hidden? Forever?" Her voice cracked, and her eyes glistened with unshed tears. "What... what are you, really?" she asked, her voice dropping to a whisper. Raven looked at her, his expression soft yet determined.
"I’ll tell you everything," he said firmly. "No more lies, my love. Just... please, let me explain. Give me this chance to make it right," he added, begging.
The room fell silent, tension hanging heavy in the air. Brienne wasn't sure if she could handle the facts he was about to tell her. Her heart was torn between fear and longing.