Chapter 33 WHAT AM I WORTH ?
Adam's POV
I sat on the edge of the bed, my hands tangled in the sheets, staring at the floor like I could see the answers there. The sound of the pack bustling outside faded into the background, drowned out by the questions looping in my mind: Am I worth this? Am I really worth all of this?
Kael came in silently, like he always did, and my chest tightened. His presence always had that effect; calming, overwhelming, comforting, and terrifying… all at once.
He crouched in front of me, his hands cupping my face gently, thumbs brushing my cheekbones. “Adam,” he murmured softly, his eyes burning with a quiet intensity. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on.”
I swallowed hard. I wanted to say nothing, but the words came anyway. “Kael… am I… worth all this? The war, the tension with your pack, the risk? I—” My voice cracked. “I don’t know if I’m worth the trouble, Kael.”
His lips brushed my forehead, and my chest sank. Every kiss, every gentle touch, felt like it was seeping into the parts of me I’d long buried. “Adam,” he whispered, his voice low, soothing, yet firm. “You are more than worth it. Don’t you see? Every risk, every challenge… It's for me and you. I don't care what anyone else thinks, you're mine and I want to keep you safe. I'd take you far away from here but I'm the leader of my pack, their quality of life and welfare is my responsibility, I can't abandon them. So I'll fight to keep my pack safe for my people and my mate.”
I blinked, trying to hold back the rush of warmth pooling in my chest. “But… you don’t have to…” I started, then stopped, my words failing me. How could he possibly want to deal with all this chaos just for me?
Kael’s lips met mine, softly at first, brushing, testing, and I shivered against him. “I choose you,” he said between kisses. “Every day, Adam. I choose you, and I protect you. No one else, just you.”
I leaned into him instinctively, pressing my forehead to his chest. He smelled like safety, strength, and something impossibly intimate that made me want to melt entirely. His hands slid down to my shoulders, holding me close, stroking my hair with slow, careful movements that made my spine tingle.
“Kael…” I whispered, voice low, shaky. My hands brushed the back of his neck, feeling the heat of his skin, the muscles coiled beneath it. I almost kissed him deeper, almost gave in to the pull I felt in my chest and stomach, the one that screamed to take this further, to see how far we could go.
Kael froze, his hands tightening slightly in my hair, just enough to anchor me. I could feel his breath hitch. He was holding back. I knew it, but it didn’t stop my pulse from speeding. I could feel the restraint in him like electricity between us.
He pulled back just a fraction, brushing his nose against mine, his lips hovering close, warm, intoxicating. “Adam,” he breathed, almost pained, “I… I can’t… not yet.”
My chest tightened. “I don’t… I don’t know if it’s because I feel touch-starved… or because your attention and your kisses soothe me in ways I didn’t know I needed…” I hesitated, eyes on his, trying to read him. “But I want you to stop holding back. I want you to… I want you to kiss me more… and see where it ends. I don’t know how to say it well enough for you to understand.”
Kael’s lips found mine again, soft, deliberate. His hands never left me, sliding down my back, cradling me. My fingers tangled in his shirt, holding on, wanting him, but not daring to demand it. Every brush of his lips made my chest ache and my legs tremble.
We lay back together on the bed, his body covering mine, warmth radiating through every inch of me. His lips pressed to my temple, to my jaw, to the side of my neck, teasing, gentle, reverent. I moaned softly at a touch I didn’t even know I was craving, and Kael’s humming response sent a shiver down my spine.
“Adam,” he whispered, lips brushing my ear. “You have no idea how irresistible you are.”
I buried my face in his chest, trying to catch my breath. Every second of his attention, every sigh and whispered word, felt like it was unlocking something I’d kept locked for years. My insecurities, my fear, my disbelief in being wanted… all of it threatened to collapse into tears.
He shifted, brushing a strand of hair from my eyes, lips trailing down my temple again. I wanted more. I wanted him to stop restraining himself. To just… give in to everything.
“Kael…” I whispered again, hesitant, unsure. “I… I—” My voice cracked, swallowed by the swell of emotion in my chest. I wanted to tell him, to make him understand the ache inside me, but I didn’t have the words.
He pressed his forehead to mine, breathing me in. “Shh,” he murmured, voice rough with emotion. “I know. And you don’t have to say a thing. I feel it too. Every inch of it. And I promise, baby… one day… we’ll explore all of it. But right now, I just need you close. Safe. Here with me.”
I nodded, letting myself sink into his chest, into the warmth and the safety that I didn’t deserve but somehow had. My fingers gripped his shirt, memorizing the feel of him, while my mind spun with questions, desires, and the dizzying realization that maybe… maybe I was worth all of this after all.
I didn’t know if it was the touch-starved part of me, or the desperate need to be held, or the way his lips and whispers made my chest ache in the sweetest way. But I knew one thing: I wanted him. I wanted him closer, wanted him to stop restraining himself… but I didn’t know how to ask without breaking everything.
Kael’s hands continued to stroke my hair, his lips brushing my temple. His heartbeat, steady and strong beneath me, seemed to whisper, You’re mine. Always mine.
I buried my face in his chest again, letting the hum of his reassurance and his gentle, intoxicating scent wash over me. I didn’t have words. I didn’t need words. But inside, a fire was burning; a mixture of awe, desire, and the strange, fragile comfort of finally being wanted.
And I didn’t know how much longer I could keep holding back the questions, the fears, the desires, before I gave in entirely to the pull he had on me.
I wanted more. I wanted all of him. And I didn’t know how to tell him that without losing myself in the process.
It may sound desperate but I really want this Alpha to do to me, bot
h the things I know and the things I'm yet to know.