Chapter 19 A WORLD HE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND
(Adam’s POV)
Waking up felt like dragging myself through thick mud.
My eyelids were heavy. My limbs even heavier. My throat felt scraped raw. But the first thing I became aware of wasn’t pain;
It was warmth.
A hand around mine.
A thumb brushing slow circles against my skin.
A steady presence, solid and close.
When I blinked my vision clearer, Kael was there, sitting on the edge of the bed like he hadn’t moved in hours.
“Adam?” His voice broke on my name. “You’re awake.”
I barely had breath. “...Kael?”
He leaned forward and pulled me into a hug so tight it shocked me. His arms trembled around me. His breath shook against my shoulder.
“I was getting worried,” he whispered and kissed my forehead.
I froze. My body locked up completely because…
I wasn’t used to tenderness. Not this kind.
“How long have I been asleep…?” I managed.
“Three days. But you woke up a few hours earlier so this round of sleep was for a few hours, but it felt longer than that to me.” His hands cupped my face, checking my pupils, brushing my hair back like I was made of glass. “Three entire days, Adam. You scared me.”
Three days.
Three days of nothing.
But I remembered flashes: Kael’s voice calling my name, my parents’ voices mixing with strangers in my head, old memories melting into each other.
Everything was still foggy.
“I had dreams,” I murmured. “Weird ones. Confusing. They just kept looping.”
“You told me about it earlier. It's okay, it’s over now,” he said softly. “You’re safe.”
Safe.
The word felt distant.
Kael helped me sit up, holding my back as if I would break in half. He brought a glass of warm water to my lips and tilted it carefully. Then he fed me soup like I was a sick kid.
I hated how much I needed it.
I hated how warm it made me feel inside.
“Kael…” I swallowed. “You don’t need to… do all this.”
“I want to.” He frowned like the idea of not doing it offended him. “You’re still recovering. You shouldn’t move too much.”
“This is too much,” I mumbled before I could stop myself.
He blinked at me, confused. “Too much?”
“Too gentle.”
His expression fell in the tiniest, saddest way.
I immediately regretted saying anything.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I just… it’s strange. I don’t understand why you’re being like this.”
His jaw tightened, but he nodded and scooted a little back, giving me space even though something about it felt wrong.
And I hated myself again.
Why was everything I said hurting him?
Kael tried to smile, but it was small and strained. “Alright. I’ll keep a bit of distance. Just tell me if you need anything.”
Needing something… from him…
I cleared my throat. “You said physicians came?”
He nodded, already slipping back into caretaker mode. “Several. All said the same thing; you were overdosed with suppressants. No other injuries, no poison, nothing else.” He hesitated. “No trace of a wolf either.”
My stomach twisted as I suddenly felt deja Vu; it's like he's said something about suppressant overdose to me before.
“I don’t understand why Marcus and his wife would give you so much,” Kael said quietly. “Suppressants aren’t for humans. They’re dangerous long-term, even to my kind.”
“I’ve been taking pills all my life.” My voice cracked. “They told me I had… issues. That I could lose control if I didn’t.”
Kael’s eyes darkened with something furious and heartbreaking. “Adam. You don’t have any mental issues. Not a single one.”
“I thought you said the physicians didn’t find anything.”
“They didn’t. Because you’re healthy.” He touched my hand this time, very gently, like asking permission. “Please stay here with me. Don’t go back. Not until I figure out what was done to you.”
Something lodged in my throat. Why does this talk feel so familiar… and I asked him: “why do I feel like we'd had this talk before now?”
“... because we did. We had this talk before you went back to sleep.” He answered, confirming my confusion.
“So I am actually crazy, how did I totally forget what we talked about a few hours earlier?”
“You're not crazy.”
He tried to convince me but I snapped…
“I think I am, and you know it. You knew I'd forgotten everything we talked about earlier; and when I asked how long I've been sleeping, you knew I'd forgotten that I woke up earlier before sleeping again. My memory is messy and that's how a crazy person's head is.”
“Forgetting doesn't make one crazy. You were in a daze when you first woke up, it's totally normal to forget and you remembered. That means you're not crazy.”
That didn’t comfort me at all. But before I could say more, a knock came at the door.
A man entered halfway, then froze when he saw me awake.
“Alpha,” he murmured, bowing slightly. “The council requests an emergency meeting. They say it cannot wait.”
Kael’s entire posture shifted into Alpha-mode: calm and serious.
But I heard something else…
Whispers just outside the door.
“…the human thing the Alpha dragged in—”
“—weak little problem—”
“—not our pack business—”
They were talking about me, and Kael didn’t react at all. He didn’t hear it?
Of course he didn’t.
I suddenly felt sick.
“I’ll go when Adam feels better,” Kael told his Beta. “Tell them they can wait.”
“Of course,” the man said, bowing again before leaving.
The door closed.
The whispers didn’t come back.
Kael returned to me, smoothing my hair again like earlier. “You don’t look so good. Lie back down. You used too much energy waking up.”
“I’m okay,” I lied.
“You’re pale.”
“Kael, really—”
“Adam.” His voice softened. “Please. Just rest a little.”
I sighed and lowered myself back into the pillows.
He pulled the blanket up, tucking it around me with ridiculous care. I wished he would stop being so… gentle. Because the gentler he was, the more my chest twisted.
I don't know if this is really him or this some supernatural mate bond forcing him to treat me nicely.
Would he look at me the same if he didn’t have a wolf whispering mine, mine, mine in his head?
Would he even look at me at all?
My thoughts spiraled until I barely heard his voice.
“I’ll be right here if you need anything. I’m not leaving the room.”
He sat in the chair beside the bed, watching me like I mattered more than air.
It was too much.
I turned my face away so he wouldn’t see the panic in my eyes.
I focused on breathing.
In.
Out.
In—
A sudden burn shot through my arm.
I hissed and lifted my wrist instinctively.
For half a second…
veins under my skin glowed faintly, like silver light pulsing beneath the surface.
Then they vanished.
Gone.
Like nothing happened.
But I knew what I saw.
My breath punched out of me and the room tilted sharply.
“Adam?” Kael shot up. “What’s wrong—?”
I didn’t answer. I didn't even have an answer.
My vision blurred, my ears filled wit
h static, and the last thing I saw before collapsing back into the mattress was my wrist
looking perfectly normal.
As if the light had never been there at all.
Was I getting paranoid?