Chapter 116 HOW IT HURTS
Adam's POV
I stared into Kael’s eyes and asked, “What do you know about my real family… who I am, where I'm from... why did you hide it from me?”
For a moment, everything went quiet. Too quiet for the countless thoughts running through my head, trying to force their way out.
Kael didn’t answer immediately.
His eyes searched mine, like he was trying to understand what I was even asking. Like I had just spoken a language he didn’t know.
“I don’t understand what you’re saying,” he said softly. “Why would I ever hide anything from you?”
His voice was so gentle, it made something twist painfully in my chest.
I swallowed, my fingers tightening where they now rested on my lap.
“You do know,” I said, my voice coming out quieter than I wanted. “You knew… and you didn’t tell me.”
His brows pulled together slightly.
“Adam—”
“You know exactly who I am,” I cut in, my voice shaking now. “I’m not… just some person that appeared out of nowhere.”
His expression remained real confusion, not guilt like I'm expecting. And somehow… that made it worse.
“I had parents,” I continued, my voice breaking a little. “I had a life. A real one. And you knew.”
Kael shook his head slowly.
“I didn’t—”
“Your father killed them,” I said, my words coming faster now. “Your pack killed my parents.”
The silence that followed felt heavy.
Kael went still. Completely still.
“I didn’t know that,” he said. And his voice… It was small and soft in a way that made my chest ache.
But I couldn’t stop.
Because if I stopped, I might believe him.
And right now, I didn’t know what was real anymore.
“You knew who I was,” I said, my voice rising. “You knew I wasn’t Sara’s son, I should've known by how you never believed her, you were certain she was lying because you knew who my real parents were. You knew I came from somewhere. You know I’ve been losing my mind trying to understand myself.”
My throat tightened.
“You saw me cry,” I whispered. “You saw me break down because nothing made sense to me.” My eyes burned. “And you said nothing.”
Kael shook his head again, more urgently this time.
“I didn’t know,” he repeated.
“You didn’t know what?” I asked, my voice cracking. “You didn’t know that I deserved to know who I am?”
He flinched. Actually flinched, like I'm trying to hurt him.
And that… that almost broke me.
“I would never do that to you,” he said, his voice still soft, still steady, but there was something fragile under it now. “I would never watch you suffer and choose silence for any reason.”
I laughed, but it came out wrong and empty.
“Then explain it,” I said. “Explain why you left me to suffer in pathetic confusion. You knew everything and you didn't say a thing.”
“Where did you learn all that?” he asked, his voice still infuriatingly soft.
I looked at him. And for a moment… I saw the fear and hurt behind his eyes. He's as lovable as ever, I still see the man I've come to love… but the words still came out.
“Vance told me.”
Kael’s eyes dropped immediately. Like something inside him just… gave way.
“You believe Vance…” he said quietly.
It wasn’t a question.
“He showed me proof,” I said quickly. “Pictures of my parents. I look like them, Kael. I look like them.”
My hands trembled.
“I’m not Sara’s son.”
He didn’t look up.
“I have a mother,” I continued, my voice shaking again. “A real one. Someone I look like. I have a past.”
Silence…
“I didn’t fall from the sky,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper now. “I’m not some… glitchy thing that just exists without reason.”
My chest tightened painfully.
“You knew how much that hurt me, you know how much pain it makes me feel to think I might be in a fever dream where nothing makes sense and I am a weird non-human non-werewolf being with no memories of my past. You've seen me cry about it, just why did you not think it's necessary to tell me I'm not going insane or living in a long weird dream?”
Kael’s shoulders tensed.
“I didn’t know,” he said again.
And I hated how much I wanted to believe him.
“You have to understand how this feels,” I said, my voice trembling. “Living like… like I’m not real. Like I don’t belong anywhere. Like I’m just a mistake that happened.”
My throat burned.
“And you could’ve stopped that gut wrenching feeling but didn't.”
Silence.
Then—
“You think I would watch you suffer like that and stay silent?” he asked.
“I don’t know what to think anymore,” I said honestly.
That was the truth.
That was the worst part.
“I trusted you,” I whispered.
His head lifted slightly.
“And I still do,” I added quickly, because that mattered. “I do. I trust you. I love you.” My voice broke. “But how do I ignore this? Why did you even do this to me?”
He looked at me then, and the way he did— It hurt.
“I am your mate,” he said quietly. “Why don’t you believe me?”
That word again.
Mate.
Bond.
It made me more angry.
“Because I don’t understand!” I snapped.
My voice came out louder than I expected.
“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me anything!”
My chest rose and fell quickly.
“You think I wouldn’t have stayed?” I asked. “You thought I'd run away from you if you told me your father killed mine? You thought I'd curse the day I met you if you told me your father was the reason my life ended up so messed up and pitiful?"
His expression shifted, just a little.
“I don’t know what I would’ve done,” I continued, my voice softer now. “But I deserved to choose.”
Silence.
“You didn’t give me that,” I said.
Kael slowly sank down, not like someone losing strength, but like someone… giving up.
“You believe Vance but not me? I am your mate, why don't you, for the sake of our bond, believe me?”
“Bond? I mean, I love you and you're one lovable man but why did you build this on a lie? Why didn't you pity my pathetic confusion and just tell me?”
He sat on the floor. Right in front of me.
“I didn’t know,” he said again.
And this time—
It sounded like a plea.
But I couldn’t take it, because it didn’t fix anything.
“Did Vance bind you to himself?” he asked suddenly.
I blinked. “What?”
“He marked you,” Kael said, his voice still soft, but tighter now. “Did he complete the bond? He— he took my mate away from me. That bastard, he's always loved taking what belongs to me.”
I stared at him.
Out of everything I said, that was what he focused on?
“So that’s what matters?” I asked slowly. “In everything I just said,” I continued, my voice rising again, “all you care about is whether Vance took me from you?”
“That’s not—”
“You don’t hear me,” I cut in.
My chest hurts.
“You don’t see me.”
His expression faltered.
“I’m not just something that belongs to you,” I said.
The words came out sharper than I intended. But I didn’t take them back.
“I’m not a property.”
His eyes widened slightly. “I never—”
“But that’s what it feels like,I have a life,” I said, standing up. “Or at least… I should.”
He didn’t move.
“I need to find it,” I continued. “I need to know who I am.”
I ran a hand through my hair.
“I can’t just stay here and pretend everything is fine.”
I turned toward the door.
“You know what,” I muttered, “I don’t even care if Star Moon is dangerous and evil. That’s where I came from. That’s where my answers are.”
My heart was pounding.
“I’m going back.”
I took a step… then another.
“I’m going to find my father’s house,” I said. “I’m going to find my memory. I need to—”
“Please.”
His voice stopped me. Soft and shaking. “Please… don’t leave me.”
I turned.
He was on his feet now, standing too close to me.
“I’m begging you,” he said.
His hands grabbed mine. He's trembling.
“Don’t go.”
My chest tightened.
“Kael…”
“I love you,” he said quickly. “I love you so much it hurts, I can't lose you. I don’t care who you were before, I don’t care where you came from, I just—”
“I do,” I said.
The words came out quiet but firm.
“I care.”
His grip tightened.
“Then stay,” he whispered. “We’ll figure it out together.”
I shook my head. “I can’t. Let go of me,” I said softly.
He didn’t.
“Please,” he said again.
“I have a life,” I said, pulling my hands back. “And this… this isn’t it.”
I stepped away from him, turned, and walked toward the door.
My heart was pounding so hard I could hear it in my ears.
I just needed air… space. Something that made sense.
Just before I reached the door, something slammed into me. Hard. Like I ran into a wall I couldn’t see.
Pain exploded across my face as my body was thrown backward.
I hit the ground.
The force knocked the air out of me.
For a second, I couldn’t breathe.
Then, I felt wet warmth… I lifted my hand to my nose.
Blood.
“Oh…” I whispered weakly.
Kael was there instantly.
“Adam—”
“I hate that thing,” I muttered, my voice slurring slightly. “Your stupid invisible barrier…”
My vision blurred.
His hands were on me.
“I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “I didn’t know it would react like that to you, I just created it without thinking because I don't want you to leave. I didn’t know—”
His voice faded.
Everything did.
The last thing I saw was his face. Close, terrified, calling my name.
Then…
Darkness.