Chapter 83 Going Back Home
Nova’s Perspective
I pace just outside Jax’s office, shaking out my hands like that might calm me down. It doesn’t. My heart is still racing.
I need to do this.
Every instinct in me says this could go badly, really badly but I can’t keep pretending everything is fine.
Facing Jax about anything has always been a gamble. Sometimes he listens. Sometimes he doesn’t. And sometimes… he turns into someone I barely recognise.
Still, I can’t avoid this anymore. I lift my hand and knock twice on his office door.
“Come in,” he calls, distracted.
I push the door open slowly.
The room is a mess, papers everywhere, files stacked unevenly across his desk. He’s bent over his work, flipping through pages like I’m not even there.
For a moment, I just stand there. Waiting. Nothing.
He doesn’t look up. Doesn’t greet me. Doesn’t even acknowledge I’ve entered.
My chest tightens, but I force the words out anyway.
“I’m going to see Cassain.”
That gets his attention. His head lifts slowly, eyes narrowing slightly. “Why?”
I shrug, trying to sound casual, even though my heart is already beating faster. “Because it’s been long enough. He’s my best friend.”
“Was,” he corrects under his breath, rubbing his temples. “Did you forget how he treated you at the wedding? He’s moved on.”
The words land exactly where he intends them to.
Right on my doubts.
There’s a small, ugly part of me that wonders if he’s right. There’s a chance Cassain might turn me away. That he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore.
But then I remember the ashes. His handwriting. “He might not have—”
“He hasn’t reached out to you once, Nova,” Jax cuts in sharply. “Take the hint.”
My hands curl into fists at my sides. Liar.
“I know he’s been writing to me,” I say quietly.
The tapping of his pen stops. His eyes lock onto mine, dark and sharp. A chill runs through me.
“Oh? And how would you know that?”
I lift my chin, forcing myself to hold his gaze. “I found part of a letter. Burnt. In the fireplace. I didn’t see much, but I know his handwriting.”
For a second, he just watches me.
Then he leans back, waving a hand like it means nothing. “I probably tossed it out with the rest of the junk mail.”
“How many?” I ask.
He sighs, long and annoyed. “None. That was the only one.”
I stare at him.
No. That doesn’t make sense.
Cassain wouldn’t just suddenly write once. Not after everything. Not after what we were to each other.
I won’t doubt him again.
“Stop lying,” I say, my voice firmer now. “Tell me the truth.”
For a moment, he just looks at me. Then he rubs his forehead, like this is all too much trouble.
“Cassain’s been writing to me, hasn’t he?” I press.
For a second, he says nothing. Then finally…..
“He’s been sending a few,” he admits at last. “Maybe three a month. I figured it was better if he stayed in your past.”
My breath catches. Three a month?
How many times did Cassain try to reach me… and think I ignored him?
Anger surges up, fast and sharp. “He’s my friend, Jax. How could you do that?” My voice rises.
His expression darkens immediately. “I read about that little thing you had with him before you left with me,” he snaps. “You’re lucky I even let that go.”
I inhale slowly, trying to keep myself steady.
What happened with Cassain… it wasn’t right. Even if things between Jax and me weren’t clearly defined then, I still crossed a line. I know that.
But that doesn’t excuse this.
“That was a mistake,” I say firmly. “We both moved past it. We chose to stay friends. You don’t get to take that away from me.”
I step closer and slam my hands down on his desk.
Jax moves so fast his chair scrapes loudly across the floor.
“Who do you think you are, raising your voice at me in my own house?” he growls.
I don’t back down. “I’m leaving,” I fire back. “And I’m not marrying you.”
The words feel solid the moment they leave my mouth. Final. I made this decision weeks ago, but now, there’s no doubt left. I won’t stay here. Not with him.
His expression twists, something cold settling in his eyes.
“Oh, you will,” he says quietly, stepping around the desk toward me. “Even if I have to lock you here myself.”
I take a step back, my pulse hammering hard in my chest. I try not to show it, try not to let him see the fear creeping in, but it’s there.
Lately, he’s been different. Harsher. Like he’s always one step away from losing control. And maybe… from hitting me.
Still, I lift my chin. I'm seeing this through.
“You’re the problem, Jax,” I snap. “Your own mother knows it. She knows you can’t handle her business. That’s why—”
I don’t get to finish.
His hands slam into my shoulders, shoving me back hard. My body hits the wall with a painful crack, the air rushing out of my lungs in a sharp gasp.
Panic spikes as he steps in front of me, his arms come up on either side, trapping me in place.
“You’re pathetic,” he spits, his voice low and full of anger. “You’re just a spoiled little brat who hates seeing anyone else succeed!”
His eyes are wild, red at the edges. This isn’t the man I thought I knew. This is something else, something ugly and dangerous.
“Jax… you’re scaring me,” I whisper, my voice barely steady.
His lip curls wickedly. “You don’t even know what I’m capable of.” He growls.
I glance down, calculating. I could try to duck under his arms and bolt, but his reflexes are sharp. He’d catch me before I even cleared a step.
“Then let me go,” I say, my voice shaking now. “Let me leave. I’m done. I’m not coming back.”
Something shifts in his face.
For a split second, it’s like reality hits him, like he finally understands what I’m saying.
I’m leaving. For real.
And just like that, everything snaps.
His arm pulls back, and then.....
Pain explodes across my face.
His fist connects hard with my cheek, the force so strong it sends my head slamming into the wall behind me. A sharp ringing fills my ears, my vision bursting into dark spots.
I barely feel my legs give out. The last thing I see is his face, shock, maybe regret before everything goes black.
When I wake, the room is cold and dark. The window is wide open, banging softly in the wind.
“Damn…” I mumble, my voice rough.
Pain pulses through the side of my face and I lift a hand, brushing it gently over my cheek trying to assess the damage.
Big mistake.
The pain is sharp, burning with every touch. My cheekbone is swollen, my eye nearly shut.
“Fuck—” I hiss, pulling my hand away.
My jaw aches. My head throbs. Everything hurts.
Anger rises, pushing past the pain, hot and steady. That bastard. I should kill him.
But the anger slips away the moment I remember his face, right before he hit me.
That look… it wasn’t just rage. It was desperation. Like something inside him had finally snapped. Like he had nothing left to hold onto.
A man like that is dangerous.
And I am not staying here to face him again. Not like this.
I move quietly down the hallway toward my room, my heart pounding with every creak of the floorboards.
The house is silent. He’s gone. Relief washes through me so hard it almost makes me weak.
Good. That gives me time.
I don’t waste it.
I grab a bag and start packing, quick, messy, desperate. Just the basics. Clothes, a few personal things. Nothing I can’t carry. I’m not thinking long-term. I’m thinking escape.
I even slip into Jax’s room, heading straight for the bedside table. My fingers don’t hesitate as I pull it open and grab the money I know he keeps hidden there.
Moments later, my bag is stuffed to the point it barely closes. I shrug into my coat, shove my feet into my boots, and sling the pack over my shoulders.
This journey won’t be easy. I’ll have to rely on luck, on strangers, on timing, on anything that gets me closer.
If everything goes right… I might make it by tomorrow night.
I pull my hood up, keeping it low to hide the worst of the bruising on my face, and head downstairs.
I step out into the cold night air, breathing it in like freedom.
I’m going home.
To Cassain.