Chapter 19 Asking Her Out
“The thing is,” I said cautiously, tugging at the edge of my coat, “I’m not planning to stay here forever. Especially not until I find my mate.”
I hoped the words would act like a gentle boundary, something to cool the heat of Jax’s advances without offending him.
Jax didn’t stop walking, but his hand slid into mine, brushing his fingers lightly against the skin of my knuckles.
The sensation was… nothing. Nothing. No sparks. No sudden electricity. Just skin meeting skin, simple and neutral.
“Damn,” he muttered, almost to himself.
“Damn?” I repeated, curiosity laced with a hint of amusement.
He didn’t look at me. “We’re not mates.”
I froze mid-step, staring at the back of his head, completely bewildered. Then, almost instinctively, I fell back into step beside him.
“You were hoping we were?” I asked, unable to hide the teasing edge in my voice.
Jax shrugged, easy and casual, as though admitting the truth was the most ordinary thing in the world. “It wouldn’t be so bad if you were. You’re… beautiful.” His brows lifted, silently challenging me to argue with him.
I kicked at a patch of grass, scuffing the damp earth beneath my boots. “Oh… that’s… nice of you to say,” I murmured, my voice slightly higher than usual. My stomach fluttered, an anxious excitement bubbling beneath the surface.
He looked at me suddenly, like he was shifting gears. “So… as the Alpha’s… companion, are you ever allowed to… do your own thing?”
“My own thing?” I echoed, unsure if I’d understood correctly.
“Like… spend time with someone you choose. Be with who you want. Sleep with who you want.” He shrugged, but there was a sharpness beneath his casual tone. “I mean… Cassain, he can, right? Especially if marriage is on the table.”
I nearly trip over a root hidden beneath the grass. “You don’t waste time, do you?”
He grins. “Life’s short. Wolves live longer, but still.”
I exhaled slowly, feeling that familiar twinge of discomfort. I didn’t know what Cassain had planned, but I trusted him.
Cassain had told me himself he hadn’t slept with anyone for a while. I believed him, more than that, I felt it. Something inside him had shifted, though I couldn’t put my finger on what it was exactly.
“We haven’t… really talked about it,” I admitted. “But I don’t think he’d stop me if I wanted to. He… he’s not controlling that.” I hesitated, my hands fidgeting. “He told me the title isn’t forever.”
Jax tilted his head, that lopsided mischievous smiletugging at his lips. “So… does that mean you’ll let me take you out to a restaurant sometime? Somewhere in town?”
I glanced down at my hands, nerves twisting in my stomach. A simple, casual dinner might actually be nice. But I wasn’t sure I could handle all of his… attention.
Flattery was flattering, sure, but Jac had this way of making attention feel like a spotlight, and the idea both thrilled and unnerved me.
“It… probably isn’t a good idea to be out in public with another man,” I said slowly, scratching the back of my neck.
“Right.” He shrugged, but there was a flash of irritation that he quickly masked. “I’ll talk to the chefs instead. Find out your favorite food. I can have it brought up to your room one evening.”
I laughed quietly under my breath, imagining Diane’s reaction. The chefs were practically family to me, and Diane—the head of the kitchen, would be overjoyed at the thought of Jax attempting a date.
Knowing her sense of humor, she’d probably make a meal composed entirely of things I disliked, just to mess with me.
“Okay… sure,” I said finally, shaking my head with a smile. “That could be… fun.”
Jax’s smirk returned, the kind that suggested mischief but nothing dangerous. “Just… make sure the Alpha doesn’t see me in all this,” he said lightly, glancing toward the manor like Cassain might pop out any second.
“I’ve seen how he acts when people get a little too close to you.”
The difference between Jax and the other people I knew who had angered Cassain, or worse, those he had killed, threatened, or harmed, is that Jax didn’t feel like a danger. He isn’t someone I needed to be afraid of.
I shook my head, amused despite myself. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll handle Cassain.”
He gave a small laugh, shaking his head. “Shall we go back inside, then? I’m guessing my sister’s been driving him insane all afternoon.” He chuckled, the sound low and easy, like he was imagining the chaos she might have caused.
“Good idea,” I agreed. We turned toward the manor, our footsteps sinking softly into the damp earth.
“Do you think she could ever… love him?” I asked quietly as we walked.
I swallowed hard. Leaving Cassain alone, without someone who truly cared for him, would break him in ways I couldn’t fix.
“Lexa?” Jax said, rubbing the back of his neck as if the action would help him measure his words. “No chance. She’s far too selfish, too arrogant for… true love. If love exists for her, it’s reserved entirely for herself.”
“That’s mean,” I said, unable to hold back a small frown. “She’s your sister.”
“In my defense,” he said lightly, a shrug accompanying the words, “she would say exactly the same thing about herself.”
I thought about Lexa for a moment, her confidence, her certainty, the way she always seemed sure of herself, of the world, of the people around her. Maybe Jax was right.
Maybe someone like her could never truly love another, at least not the way Cassain deserved.
But I couldn’t shake the worry. Cassain could do well with someone like that, I thought, especially when he himself seemed so indecisive about his private life.
“I just want him to be happy,” I murmured. “He says he can’t… fall in love with his wife, but I don’t believe that. He’s full of love. The way he looks at people, the way he… cares. It’s impossible not to see it.”
Jax's eyes softened, a trace of something indecipherable passing over his face. “You speak about him with… a lot of fondness.”
“He’s my best friend,” I said simply.
He nodded slowly, looking down at the ground as he did. “I get it. You feel guilty… about leaving him with something that isn’t… real. Something loveless.”
“That’s part of it,” I admitted, my voice barely above a whisper.
“He’s a grown man, Nova. He can look after himself,” Jax said, the edge in his voice settling into something almost protective. “But I… I’m going to make sure you know how to look out for yourself while I’m here. No one else will.”
I bit down on my tongue, wondering if he was right. Could I really rely on myself for once, instead of worrying endlessly about everyone else?
“Let’s just get inside,” I said finally, gesturing toward the manor as we quickened our pace.