Chapter 148: The promise of dawn

I awoke at dawn, before the world rose to life, the earth still shrouded in a profound, indigo stillness. My heart was unfettered with an odd feeling of promise. that today, in some way, was going to be different. I lay there slowly, the bite of the early morning air on my flesh as I pulled my legs over the edge of the bed. The talisman around my neck pulsed slowly, its beat harmonizing with my heartbeats, a trifle faster than the wind whipping through the branches. I dressed in loose, weightless garments that did not encircle the bottom of the body and braided my hair, determined to seek comfort in the external world.

This morning I had resolved to take a stroll down to the lakeshore. It was to me a blank and effortless hunger, a morning greeting, a leaving to the good world to give to me. The corridors in the pack house stood vacant, the only interruption to stillness the quiet creak of fatigued stone and distant murmur of an awakening world. I stepped out into dewy dawn, and chill breathed its vinegarous freshness over me.

Along the bend of path which had led me to the lake, I marveled at the subtle beauty of nature. Each grass blade was beaded with dew, and wildflowers danced gently in the soft wind. A beam of sunlight poured through a break in the clouds and cast golden rays on the face of the lake. I stayed often, to gaze at a single petal that rested upon a worn stone, to give room for the soft caress of morning breeze, and to allow the soft beauty of birdsong to quiet yesterday's hurt.

The lake, where the water did not appear to ripple as if a colossal mirror. The gentle lapping of waves against the beach, the gentle ripple of light over its face, all served to make it a tranquil haven. I sat on the grassy bank with my feet in icy water and shut my eyes to drink in the tranquility. For an eternity of quiet, I surrendered myself, along with the magnificence of dawn and nature's ancient ritual of waking up life to the still rooms of my heart.

I breathed gently over the water, "Today, I encounter the light." At that moment, the final remaining sense of heaviness dissolved, disappeared on the horizon, to a gentle hope and a serene resolve that whatever else there was, I would encounter it with the gentle power of a new dawn.

Having gotten an hour of quiet solitude, I was once more drawn in towards home. My heart, already calmed by the quiet of the morning, insisted that I see to the dawn's promise to Grayson, the only constant presence in my life who had ever been my anchor. I tuned my senses and retraced by the path by which I had come, into the pack house, full of golden growing light.

The interior was teeming with the still movement of a new morning. I went into Grayson's room in a stunned thrill. Having thrust the door wide, I discovered that I was greeted by the reassuring normalcy of his countenance. Grayson was on the window seat, his brow unwrinkled with welcome as he regarded me.

"Althea," he breathed in a low, soothing hum, curving around to envelop me. I pushed into him, my senses drinking in the sure, soothing thrum of his heartbeat. "I was looking for you ," he whispered. "Where were you?"

I rested against him, smiling and nuzzling my cheek against his chest. "I woke with the sun and went down close to the lake to watch the dawn break and to listen as the world awakened all around me. It was like the world was in collusion with me, sharing a secret of hope and quiet."

He ran his hand through my hair. "That is beautiful. I enjoy hearing you speak of these moments of light."

We simply stood there for a moment, soaking in the warmth of coming back. In that short moment, the final serration of loneliness fell away. We spoke quietly and went on with caution, gentle laughter and that gentle silence which required no great display, only presence with unspoken understanding based on mutual love. Even when we stood against the wall in front of us, there in that very room, in each other's arms, I was full of thanks for the simple, bright pieces of nearness.

Upon meeting, I managed to slip out innocently, aware that the day itself also presented possibilities and obligations. A brief, hurried kiss, I bid Grayson goodbye, leaving the warmth of his touch in my heart to proceed with the rest of the day.

My second point of call was Leah's bedroom, a room which somehow always breathed a little quiet mystery and the merest hint of wistful sorrow. I pushed in, and the door was open a little, a golden dawn-light stealing in across the creaked-up floorboards. I pushed it softly shut and into the warm quiet of the room and saw Leah at the window. She was wearing plain white pants and a pale tunic, her legs crossed over a stool.

“Hi, Leah, how did your outing with Calista go?” I asked gently. 

Her face lit up in a smile, “it was great, Althea. She was all lovey dovey and caring and sweet the entire time…” She talked on and on about Calista then she stopped and looked at me. 

“I’m sorry for boring you with my rambling.” She said softly. 

I shook my head and smiled at her. “You’re not boring me, Leah. I’m just glad that you're happy.” 

We shared a moment of peace, the peace destroyed by memory and unspoken vows. A few minutes later, however, a spark of wanton mirth flared to life within me. "You know," I suddenly announced with renewed vigor, "I don’t think we should train today, we should just have to take a day off for ourselves, a day out, a girls' day out. Let us lay our cares aside for the nonce and enjoy ourselves!”