Chapter 99 — Peace at last

We cuddled in bed, our naked bodies intertwined. Holding her waist, I buried my face into the curve of her neck, inhaling her essence into my lungs. I felt safe, at peace, and relaxed this way. I knew it was because of her, and I had no intention of ever letting her go.

I kissed her as I smoothed her hair, “Suddenly, I don’t feel like leaving here.”

She then turned to face me, her beautiful amber eyes sparkling.

“Now you’re getting it. Maybe we could come back sometime, though the woods creep me out.”

I placed a kiss on her lips, “We’ll go someplace similar but better. You look so beautiful when you’re happy. I want you to always be happy, with me.”

She smiled and I felt warmth flood my heart. Her expression suddenly changed to a concerned one.

“What’s wrong?”

“I had that dream again.”

Propping myself up with my elbow, she sat upright, pulling her knees to her chest and staring forward.

“I saw that monster. What if it’s a sign? What if it’s coming?”

I moved behind her and wrapped my arms around her, with her back pressing into my chest. She was small, and our bodies fit together like a puzzle piece. Nestling my face into her neck, I kissed the spot I marked.

“I’ll protect you. I won’t let anything harm you.”

She turned to me, a serious expression on her face, “What if you’re the one who gets hurt? How would I protect you?”

I never thought of that. I was confident in my strength, but If I got hurt, or worse, died, Gina would be alone, exposed to the enemy. Though she could protect herself, without her full powers and me, something terrible could happen to her.

The thought made my wolf whimper within me, and I shook away the thoughts. I would never let that happen.

“I’m never going to leave you. I’ll protect you, even if it's with my last breath,” I kissed her forehead, “So don’t worry about that.”

“Alright,” she mumbled.

She looked at me with those hypnotizing eyes of hers, and I wondered who she got them from.

“Everyone says you killed your parents, but I want to hear your story.”

I felt my body freeze. I didn’t expect her to speak on that. I expected the anger to creep in, but it never came. I felt a strange calmness.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready,” she added.

Was I ready? She deserved to know the truth about what happened, she didn’t know the real reason why I killed my parents. I wasn’t trying to justify what I did, but whatever explanation I gave her, or whatever my reasons were, it wouldn’t erase the guilt that clung to me.

I was a bad person, with a tainted heart and soul, and she deserved to know the kind of man she was with. She deserved to know the monster she was in love with.

“I’m ready.”

She sat upright, paying close attention to me.

“Whatever you heard about me is true. I killed both my parents with my bare hands, and I’m not going to sugarcoat it to make myself look good. I’m nothing close to good, I’m a bad person.”

She shook her head, cutting me off mid-sentence, “I don’t think you’re a bad person.”

“I killed my parents, Gina.”

“You must've had your reasons.”

“What if I told you I killed my father because I hated him because I was tired of having him breathe the same air as me because I didn’t want my life to be controlled by him?” I could feel my anger rising as I thought about the devil.

There was a defiant look in her eyes, “Your reasons are justified. I didn’t know your father personally, but I knew he was an evil man,” she said, taking in a sharp breath, “If he could scar his own child like this.”

“He was the devil himself, and I don’t regret what I did,” I clenched my fists, “I’d do it over and over again just to get that satisfaction, to feel his blood on my skin, and to see the light fade from his soulless eyes.”

Gina never once looked uncomfortable as I poured out my thoughts.

“And my mother loved him. Despite everything he did to us, she loved him,” I continued, feeling the painful memories start to resurface. A myriad of emotions surged through me, “And that was her downfall.”

“She wasn’t even his mate, but she had this unbreakable attachment to him. When you’ve known pain all your life, you get so used to it that you start to think it’s normal.”

“My father courted her only because of her bloodline. Her father was a powerful man, and he needed her strong genes, and his, to produce a strong child. I was just his experiment, and she was nothing but a vessel for him.”

“I hated him since the day I developed a conscience. He tortured me all my life. He would inflict harm to me with tools made of silver, to make me stronger. My mother had tried countless times to stop him, but that only made him punish her. He believed he was teaching me the ways of a true man,” I let out a bitter laugh.

“He would rape my mother in front of me, making me watch as she’d cry, begging him to stop. As much as I try to forget these things, they’re already engraved in my mind, just like the scars on my skin.”

“All my life, I plotted his murder, and when I got older, I finally did it.”

I glanced at Gina who had a pained, but soft look in her eyes, “I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through, for all these years,” she leaned in and placed her hand on mine, offering comfort.

Talking about how I killed my father didn’t hurt; it never did. Talking about my mother was hard. I could feel a knot form in my throat as I contemplated.

Gina didn’t push, so I wasn’t under pressure, but she needed to know.

“My mother,” my voice came out strained. I had never spoken about it, and speaking about it now was harder than I thought it would be. My wolf whined, clawing at my heart, wanting to break out and run, escape from these emotions. But I was done running.

“I killed her. I had no other choice; I had to kill her,” Gina suddenly grabbed both of my hands in hers, giving me a reassuring squeeze. As my heart started to feel lighter, I realized what she was doing, and I let her.

I could speak a bit easier now, “When I killed my father, I killed her mind. Years of bottling up her emotions of love, suffering, torture, pain; I never thought of the emotional damage it must have caused her.”

The words felt like burning lava as I let them out, and to my surprise, I felt better.

“She lost her sanity and went wild in her wolf form. She couldn’t shift back to her human form. A mad wolf is the most deadly thing. I had no choice but to end her, to put her out of her misery, to release her torment. I can still remember the haunting look in her eyes as I—”

“That’s enough,” Gina cut me off, and I snapped out of it, “You don’t have to say anything anymore.”

When I looked at her, she was crying. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to my chest.

“You did what you had to do. She would’ve wanted you to do it,” she cupped my face tenderly, “All this pain, Devyn, how could you live with it? It’s unbearable. I’m so sorry you had to go through this. You didn’t deserve any of this. I wish I was there for you, I wish I could’ve done anything to help.”

I held her hand and kissed her palm, “You’re here now, that’s all that matters. Please, don’t ever leave me,” I felt vulnerable and I didn’t mind showing it, “The day you do is the day I’ll die.”

“I’ll never leave you. I promise.”

For the first time in days, I slept, with Gina pressed to my chest, closest to my heart.

I dreamt that night, but it was a memory.

There was blood everywhere. My father’s lifeless body lay behind me, his eyes vacant and his gaze fixed on the sky. He wouldn’t be seeing the sky anymore. Shifting back to human form, my body was drenched in blood, a result of my battle with the devil.

Liam and Gina managed to bind my mother, just before she unleashed her rage on pack grounds. They shifted back to human form, holding her head down as she snapped her teeth, struggling to free herself.

Every step I took felt like a battle. I wanted to retreat, but I had to do this. I had to be the one to give her the peace she had been denied all her life. As I approached her, and lunged forward, teeth bared, aiming for my head, but Liam and Gina restrained her.

I couldn’t even cry; the tears couldn’t come out.

Trembling, my hand held the silver blade poised above her head. She growled at me, not sane enough to realize what I was about to do. My hand shook and my heart crumbled. I couldn’t do it, but I thought of the peace waiting for her ahead.

When I struck the blade into her head, I struck a part of my soul. Whimpers escaped her as she thrashed about, the blood of my mother splattering on her face.

She clung to life, fighting desperately.

Raising my hand, I swiftly delivered the final blow, so she wouldn’t have to suffer the pain anymore. Her whines stopped, and her body collapsed to the ground as they released her. Her once bright blue eyes met mine one more time, tears filling them as the light gradually faded.

She finally passed, and I envied her as she left this cruel world behind her.