Chapter 70 70

Chapter 70 70
Hannah

The day had left me in the most foul of moods. Firstly Jake, picking apart every change I make, from where I want to position the warriors, to what colour I paint my walls. Then he dares to try to dictate to me that I can’t go out tonight. It’s like he expects me to just sit at home and pine over him forever.

Next was Emma’s complete overreaction to my borrowing her dress. I was going to return it to her but she’s acting as if I’ve stolen from her and claimed it as my own. Isn’t this what sisters do? Borrow each other's clothes?

Tom then capped off the bad day by yelling at me and withdrawing Chisholm’s support. They’re a teeny, tiny pack anyway so I say good luck to them when Quinton tears through the pack and they don’t have the alliance with Tingira to save them.

I was determined not to let them ruin my night. I planned to go to Iceburgs early, have a dance, one drink and be back by 9, when it gets dark, to join the warriors guarding the border.

Jake and Tom had tried to scare me into believing my heat would be horrendous but Serena had told me that her own first heat was nothing more than cramps and sweating so I know I’ll be able to handle it. As for attracting would-be attackers who sniff out my heat, well I believe I can easily fight them off.

“You said it was going to be jam-packed in here,” I comment to Serena as we step inside the almost empty bar. “There are 12 people, including us.”

I was beginning to wonder if she had lied just to get me to come out tonight as I know she’d been lacking her former party pal, Louisa and Daniel was on guard back at the pack.

“It’s only just on 7, the sun is still shinning.” She scoffs, dragging me over to the bar. “Just you wait, this place will be popping by 9.”

“And that’s when I’m leaving.” I remind her, once again. She’s already tried to negotiate with me to stay longer but I have responsibilities. I just want to have a little bit of fun first.

“Let’s get drinks.” She suggests, changing the subject to keep me distracted, no doubt. She waves over the bartender, the same one who was working on Wednesday night and orders us a cocktail called a fluffy duck.

The bartender places the orangey yellow beverage down in front of me and I take a sip, getting blown away by how potent the drink is.

“What is in this?” I demand to know, my eyes bulging out of my head as the alcohol lightly burns down my oesophagus. I could use this as a weapon against the vampires, it would set them on fire from within.

“Gin, rum, vodka, a dash of advocaat and fresh orange juice.” The bartender replies, looking miffed by my reaction to his creation. “If you can’t handle it I can get you something weaker.”

Another man who is trying to convince me that I can’t handle what they can. I’ll show him and the rest of them.

“I was actually going to say that you haven’t made it strong enough.” I lie, taking another sip and bracing for the burn, this time I hold back my reaction.

“Look, there’s a table over there that nobody has claimed yet.” Serena squeals and grabs my arm to drag me across the room to the table. There’s almost nobody in here, so I really don’t get her rush to the table, but I’m happy to sit.

The DJ is setting up her equipment, which takes up a lot of space on the dance floor. The huge booth is surrounded by giant coloured lights that flash red, blue and green and I swear that when she switched them on the entire bar got 10 degrees hotter.

I take a big sip of my drink, thinking that the icy cold liquid might help to cool me down but the alcohol leaves me feeling more flushed.

“Jake wasn’t too happy that I was coming here tonight,” I tell Serena, and watch her face twist in surprise at the mention of Jake.

“You talked to Jake?” She squeals, excitedly.

“I wouldn’t call it talking as such.” I huff, rolling my eyes when I think about how he acted today. “He tried to control me and I put him firmly in his place.”

“Oh, not good.” She remarks, shaking her head.

“He’s convinced that I’ll go into my heat tonight and could potentially attract unmarked wolves,” I explain dryly because he’s pissed me off too much to take him seriously.

“Do you think he’s concerned or jealous?” She asks me, swirling her straw around her almost empty glass.

“Well, he got pretty jealous on Wednesday night when I made him believe that I’d slept with that dart-playing douchebag,” I inform her and her eyes go wide.

“You didn’t!” She exclaims, leaning in closer. “Why would you lie about something like that?”

“Because I wanted him to feel as hurt as he had made me,” I tell her, ashamed to admit it to her.

“And did it make you feel better?” She questions me, sternly, like a parent who is chastising a child.

“Not exactly, no,” I admit, my cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “It’s made everything worse actually.”

“Hannah, I’m going to say this to you, not only as your friend but also as someone who is watching this unfold from the outside. You and Jake have a huge communication problem and that won’t get any better when you’re both playing these childish games.” She says, surprising me that this is coming from fun-loving Serena.

“Maybe I don’t want to fix what he broke.” I huff, angry that she is calling me a child when it was Jake who started this whole thing.

“Then you need to reject him.” She tells me, firmly. “It may be the only way you can heal Hannah and we both know that you have a lot to heal from.”

“We’re not just talking about Jake anymore are we?” I ask her as the tears prick my eyes.

“You went through years and years of a hellish nightmare, I shudder to imagine what it was like for you.” She says, reaching her hand across the table and placing it on mine. “You’re allowed to talk about it.”

It was the first time anyone had actually talked to me about what I experienced and I could sense that she was genuinely concerned. I’d held it all in for so long, not wanting to burden the others with my trauma but it was hurting me.

“I didn’t understand it at first, why I couldn’t make my body cooperate the way I wanted. I was petrified and I couldn’t even scream, I couldn’t run away, I was just trapped.” Saying this out loud, to Serena, is helping me give a voice to my younger self. “I keep thinking that if I fought harder against it then I would have freed myself sooner.”