Explain

The sadness I felt as I missed Levi was doused with what felt like a bucket of ice-cold water as Andrius’ words registered. My mental walls shot up from the ground so fast that there were no words to complete that sentence, anything that could possibly make anything about this situation. All the possibilities raced through my mind, and I glared at him as I wondered if he’d courted me, chased me, had me while he had someone waiting at home for him. My first thought was to curse at him. I’m not a violent person, but my hand twitched with the need to slap him.

“You can’t be serious,” I hissed.

Not only was I officially irritated, but I was pissed. My eyes fluttered shut, and I took a deep breath, battling the word vomit that wanted to spill from my lips. I pushed back the tinge of hurt I felt, biting my lip as I berated myself for giving someone that much power over me. Levi would never hurt me, and I’ve known him my entire life. I opened my eyes and stared forward. All of this was new, and Andrius was something I hadn’t considered seriously, not until now. He was quiet as he drove, and I prayed it was because he was giving me a moment.

“I need you to choose your words wisely, Andrius. Finish that sentence with the truth and nothing but the Goddess-damned truth. I don’t know what the Goddess has planned for me, or if you’re even in the stars she’s spread across the sky, but don’t think I’ll take being someone’s side piece. Even if you are written in the stars, if you’ve got someone you are in a committed relationship with, I will drop you so fast. I’ll cancel our plans and get out of this car. You aren’t the only man in my life. This may be selfish of me, but you don’t get that option. It’s me and Levi, or it’s no one,” I growled.

Despite my anger, I felt I’d chosen the right words. There would be no begging or pleading for a man who didn’t choose me. It wasn’t in my kind’s blood to make demands of an alpha, but I didn’t care in this moment. If Andrius wanted to be in my life, then he needed to know that I wasn’t going to take this kind of shit. And because this is new, I needed to set the precedent now for what I would allow in the future, and this wasn’t one of those things.

“Are you going to explain, or would you like for me to assume?” I bit. My shackles were up, and I failed to ignore the way my body was poised, as if ready to attack.

“No, Amia,” Andrius said abruptly. He reached over and grabbed my hand. “You’re not some side piece.” I stared at him expectantly. “We both know an Alpha is expected to find his mate or take one soon after taking over. I’ve been in charge for years and never found her. I never found the woman the Goddess made for me and if we’re being honest, I wasn’t searching for y-her.”

“So you don’t want to settle down? I know I’m young but I most likely won’t be able to graduate this year because of what’s going on with my ex, but I’m not just playing around,” I said.

“Now, yes, I do but I only just found you. I wish I could have met you earlier but any younger and it would be criminal,” he joked. I arched my brow at him and he cleared his throat and looked forward. “What I mean is I’m no virgin.”

“Yeah… I didn’t peg you for one,” I deadpanned.

“Am I digging my own grave right now?” Andrius asked.

“Yes, yes you are,” I said. If I wasn’t so pissed I might have laughed, but I was and I didn’t. He laughed and I wanted to pinch him. “Yes, I get it. You aren’t a virgin what does that have to do with the present?” I asked, not bothering to hide my irritation.

“Meaning I have women I’ve been seeing,” he said.

“Women? As in more than one?” I asked. I pulled my hand away but he gripped it tightly.

“I have needs, had needs and it all happened before you,” he explained.

“And you’re still seeing them?” I asked.

“I did, yes, before you which wasn’t that long ago,” he said. I wanted to be mad but I could see how he wasn’t completely at fault. If anything this meant I was the other woman and I didn’t like that either.

“And you didn’t break things off with them after the Lake?” I asked.

“If I remember correctly, that night ended with me handing you over to another man,” he said.

“So are you saying you don’t like Levi?” I asked.

“No, that’s not… that’s not what I’m saying. I don’t mind being a thing with the two of you, but after handing you over, I didn’t think to break things off with them. But I wanted you. I knew I wanted you, and those women are just that - women,” Andrius said.

“You’re not dating them?” I asked cautiously.

“No, I’m not,” he started. “But—”

“I swear to the Goddess, Andrius,” I groaned.

“I sort of have someone I’m in the process of taking as my chosen mate,” he said. Silence. My jaw dropped and I said nothing. Looking at him, my eyes were wide in disbelief.

“What the.. who? No, don’t answer that. That doesn’t matter. Are you going to go through with it?” I asked.

“No! Goddess, no. I’ve got you now. I haven’t taken anyone seriously. I chose this person because I knew she would be a great Luna,” Andrius said.

“And you didn’t think about breaking it off with her before you came to pick me up to bring me home with you?” I asked.