Chapter 16

Chapter 16
I shook a lacy sleeve at Jamie and pushed my hair out of my face. “This hair? I used to dye it blue okay? I’ve never fit in anywhere. And then in college, I wasn’t enough of a lunatic to fit in with the whackos. Right? I went from being the crazy girl in high school to being a bore.”

“Jesus,” Jamie said softly.

“And all the while, this asshole,” I pointed at the picture of my uncle, “told me how all the music I listened to, and the, I dunno, the shit I put in my hair, and the nail polish I wore... he told me how it was all just wasting time. He had me convinced that I was just a big, giant waste of time.” When tears came, they came in a flood.

Jamie sat there without talking, more patient than I ever imagined her being, though I guess I never gave her much of a chance.

“I don’t...  sorry,” I said, sniffing.

“No, no, no apologizing. I’m the one who asked.” Slowly, she rubbed her hand on my shoulder.

“Then,” I continued, “I came here, you know? I met Erik and then... it just all fell into place. As stupid as it might sound, Jamesburg is the first place I’ve ever felt like home. And now, because of some zombie reminding everyone that they hate humans, then that’s it? I’m just supposed to suck it up and either say goodbye to this place, or be fine living as a second class citizen?”

My shoulders trembled, and my breath came in short, hard bursts.

For a moment, Jamie just stroked my back and let me shake.

“You know, Isabel,” she said, slowly easing us back into conversation.

“You told me things that I didn’t know, but I knew, if that makes any sense.”

I nodded. “I guess so, but what does it matter? It can’t ever work between us, can it? If the whole town thinks I’m some kind of thief waiting to happen, how can we ever be together?”

“Well if you put it that way,” Jamie said softly, “it sounds a lot worse than it is. Look. Erik is who he is. Right? He’s big, and strong and rough and has those muscles and...”

“Uh, right, yeah, that’s all true,” I said, grinning slightly, despite myself.

“He certainly does have that going for him.” “And he told you he loves you. Right?” “Wait, how did you know that?” I asked.

“I might’ve taken an accidental peak into your noodle. But I swear that was all I saw.”

I nodded, closing my eyes. “Yeah, he... he did, right before I left.”

“One thing I know about Erik,” Jamie said, “and remember, I’ve known him a lot longer than you – is that he doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean.

He isn’t the type to give you compliments he doesn’t think are real. I’m sure you’ve noticed that, too.” “Ugh, yeah,” I said.

“I dated him for a few years,” Jamie said. “I know all about that one.”

She laughed, which loosened me up some. “Listen,” she said, continuing, “I know this is hard. I know it is. I know what it’s like to be in love with someone and have to keep from full on for whatever reason. It’s terrible.”

“Well I’m just stuck,” I said. “If I stay here, I’ll cause problems – Erik says that the whole town will riot in the streets it comes out that he marks a pureblood human to be his mate. The playing around, I guess, is just fine. But if it’s official, that’s apparently the end of the world.” I took a long breath. “Or I leave, and I don’t want to leave but I guess I have to.” “You give up too quickly,” Jamie said. “How bad do you want this?” “What? What do you mean?” I asked. “I want him worse than anything. This place is my home now. I don’t want any part of going back to all those bad memories.”

That was the first time I said it out loud. I mean, I’d thought the same thing plenty of times before, but saying it made it feel more real, somehow. I didn’t want Ohio, I didn’t want my creepy uncle, or my nasty sister in law, or any of them. My place was Jamesburg, among all these completely improbable creatures that no one else on earth knew to exist. In a backward, funny way, it all made sense.

The weird, curvy girl with the blue hair and the slightly wonky outlook on the world moves halfway across the country to the only place even more cartoonish than she is, and she falls right into place.

“What do I need to do?” I asked. I sat up straight, steel in my nerves. “I’ll do anything to make these people trust me, if that’s what it takes. I’ll do anything to stay here, to be with him. But,” I stopped for a second, considering my words. “That’s not it. That’s not all. I want to be with him,

but there’s more. I want to do it for me, you know?” A smile crept across Jamie’s face.

I kept on before she could interrupt. “I’ve never had a home, not really. I had my shitty Uncle Ted and Ohio, and I guess some friends in college, but I’ve never had a place before. It might sound really weird, but I feel like this is home to me now.”

Without noticing what I was doing, I had taken all the folders out of my little box and put them back in my desk. Jamie watched with great interest as I pulled one of the photos out and showed it to her. “He was awful, Jamie,” I said.

“What did he do to you? This is Ted, right? The uncle?”

I nodded. “He raised me, yeah. Raised me, made me feel like hell every second of every day. I was never good enough for him. Wasn’t religious enough, wasn’t fit enough, wasn’t smart enough. It wore me down.”

“That kind of thing would wear anyone down, even a vampire bat,” Jamie said. “But you know who doesn’t think any of those things about you?”

“Erik?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Erik,” Jamie said.