Chapter 87 It doesn’t matter
Serena hadn’t been expecting Logan to kiss her. When he did, she couldn’t pull away. Something in her snapped! She didn’t know if it was because they were mates or because she had been thinking about the night they spent together earlier. She didn’t know if it was because she had longed to feel his lips on hers again, even if she tried to deny it to herself, or if it was because he was the father of her twins!
Sighing, Serena parted her lips, opening herself up as he kissed her more intensely. He gripped her arms tighter, muscle against bone, but the pain was nothing to her, not against the sensation of his hot, angry lips as they moved furiously in time with hers. She kissed back, grabbing at his sides. Logan pushed her up against the wall of the treehouse, and her mind flooded with more memories from the night they’d spent together.
She was angry, Logan was angry, but he kissed her like he wanted to devour her completely! Passion overtook her and her whole body quivered with heat. Logan grunted, kissing her more aggressively and pushing her harder into the wall. Serena moaned, tightening her hands on his sides. She pulled him closer, his body pressing against hers, pinning her to the wall. “Logan,” she whispered after a moment, quickly coming to her senses. Logan sighed, pulling his lips from hers. He didn’t step away from her right away. Serena didn’t release her hold on him. Her whole body hummed being so close to him, and when his lips weren’t on hers anymore, she felt like pulling him back. She looked into his eyes, seeing the same neediness there that she felt down to her core! “What was that?” she asked him. Logan scoffed and released her, stepping away. “Nothing,” he said. “It didn’t feel like nothing,” Serena argued, still panting slightly to catch her breath after the intensity of that kiss. “I want to be there for my kids,” Logan said. “If you gave me the chance, I would have been there.” “I know,” she said. “I’m not like you, Serena,” Logan said. “I’m not going to leave my child without a parent. Holly is having my baby, and I am going to be there every moment of their life.” “I’d expect nothing less,“ Serena said with a nod. “What did you feel, when I kissed you?” Logan asked. Serena sighed, shaking her head.
“Does it matter?” she asked. She didn’t want to admit that she had wanted him to consumer her entirely. She had wanted him to tear her clothes off and do all the
things he’d done to her the night that they’d been there years ago! Thinking about it made her stomach flutter and her knees go a little weak. She looked away from Logan, completely unable to look at him without feeling like she wanted to kiss him again. “It matters,” Logan said. “I want you to know what you felt when I kissed you.” Serena kept her eyes averted. She debated telling him the truth, but it wouldn’t change anything. He’d already told her that he was going to stay with Holly and raise their kid, which meant she had no future with him and neither did her kids. “It won’t change anything,” she pointed out. “You already made your decision to be with Holly and your baby. So, there’s no point in me telling you what I felt.” Logan growled a little, finally coming down from his anger now that he had so boldly redirected the feeling into lust.
“No, it wouldn’t change anything,” Logan admitted. He sighed, crossing his arms and taking another step back from Serena. “Then why even ask?” she asked. “Are you just looking for more things to argue with me about? Because, I can’t do that anymore. I can’t be your emotional punching bag.”
Logan’s eyes softened, and Serena realized the fight was over. He was calm again, and she didn’t have to be so on edge. “You’re not my emotional punching bag,” he said firmly. “I know I‘ve lost my temper at you several times recently…as long as you can promise me there isn’t anything else you’ve kept hidden…or if there is, come clean now…” Serena sighed heavily.
She’d finally come clean about it all. She’d told Logan her greatest secrets about the kids, her family, and about all the things she’d been finding out and feeling since she’d gone to Night Sky and discovered who Logan was.
Serena carefully thought back so see if there was anything else she hadn’t told him. She didn’t want to have him get mad at her again for something that she forgot about. They’d gone over it all. Other than her own thoughts and feelings about Logan. In one day, he’d found out that she was his mate, and
found out the twins were his. There wasn’t anything else she could think of that she hadn’t told him. “I can’t think of anything,” she said. Logan sighed, nodding. “I don’t want you to think I’m like this all the time,” he said, suddenly looking concerned that she would think differently of them. Serena nodded. “You’ve got a lot going on,” she said. “I get it, I’ve seen the pressure an Alpha can be under. Moonshine, getting ready to go to war, a difficult girlfriend, a baby you aren’t sure you want…I know this all just adds to that. Maybe now you can understand the confusion I’ve been dealing with too.” She didn’t want to make him mad again, but she was hoping that he had calmed down enough to be rational, now. “You’re right,” he admitted finally. “It has been a lot. I guess I took it out on you
because it was convenient.” Serena sighed. It wasn’t exactly whal bile Wallilu but at least he was being honest with himself. “Look, we don’t have to make a big deal out of this,” Serena ventured. “I mean, you know what you have to do, and I know that my involvement will just make things more complicated for you.” “It is a big deal, though, isn’t it?” Logan asked. “Yea, it is,” Serena admitted. She couldn’t deny the fact that the knowledge changed things immensely. She had no idea what to do with it though. “Logan, despite everything, I am glad that you know,” she said. “I don’t like keeping secrets. I don’t like pretending not to know things when I do. None of this was easy and none of this was done with the intention of hurting you. I know that doesn’t make it better.” “I know that,” Logan said with a nod. “I mean, I understand.” With a heavy sigh, the Alpha turned away from Serena. A little more distance between the two of them felt better. Serena took a deep breath of the air around them. Logan’s scent wasn’t as strong since he moved away, and she felt the heat on her skin start to fade. Keeping their distance. That was what best way Serena knew how to handle this. Logan would mark Holly and vice versa. When that happened, he wouldn’t feel the same about her anymore. Not in terms of their mate connection. That was what was best for the pack and for Logan’s unborn child. Serena would never want to deprive a child of their father. She hadn’t intentionally done that with her children either, it had just made more sense at the time and with the circumstances not to pursue it. Now, she didn’t have a choice but to keep Logan from them. At least, she had to keep the truth of who Logan was from them. She wondered if she should start to limit the time that they spent with Logan. He’d have
a new baby soon, and he would be occupied with the child. He still had the pack to look after and they would be going to war with Moonshine soon. He had enough to deal with. Trying to field a confusing relationship with kids he knew were his but couldn’t be a father too…
She also didn’t want the twins to be hurt. If she started to limit their contact with him now, then once he was less available because of everything else, they wouldn’t take it so hard.
Sighing, Serena knew that this was a decision she would have to make with Logan. She couldn’t pretend that Logan didn’t have a say anymore. He was Olivia and Oliver’s father, and now he knew it. She could only start making up for what she kept from him by acknowledging his role as their father, by giving him some say in what happened from here. It was hard for her to relinquish control. The kids had always been her responsibility
and hers alone. She had to show Logan that she wasn’t doing this to hurt him. “Logan, we have to talk about what we are going to tell everyone else,” Serena said.