CHAPTER 40

Maya's POV

I don't know how long I stood there. As I gazed at the empty space where Darius had been just a moment before, time seemed to float by. I felt suffocated by the quiet between us, like a weight on my chest. It seemed like a piece of me was being torn away with each harsh word he shouted and each step he took away from me.

I had told myself to be strong, to make a self-promise not to let this break me. However, I was unable to contain myself as I stood there in the silent aftermath of his rejection.

The tears came uncontrollably and relentlessly, like a river. They rolled freely down my cheeks, and I didn’t bother to wipe them away. I didn’t care anymore.

Why did he have to push me away? Why couldn’t he see that I was trying? Why did everything have to be so hard between us?

With a trembling breath, I collapsed onto the plush moss beneath my feet, the world’s weight descending upon me. How could I fight for something that seemed destined to crumble? How could I keep going when the one person I wanted to lean on was the one who shut me out?

I knew why he did it. He thought it was the best thing for me. He thought he was protecting me. But what about me, Darius? What about my heart?

I felt utterly alone as my cries reverberated around the deserted clearing. Deep in my chest, I could feel the agony of his absence and the void he had left. But then...

“Maya?”

The soft voice that broke the oppressive silence startled me as I looked up. Evelyn.

She looked at my tear-streaked face, and her expression softened. “Oh, sweetheart..”

Evelyn was kneeling next to me and putting her arms around me in a reassuring embrace before I could speak. The only thing keeping me grounded at the time was the warmth of her touch, so I allowed myself to sink into her, my sobbing ceasing in her comforting embrace.

“Don’t worry, Maya. Let it out. Her words soothed my hurting spirit as she whispered, “Let it all out.”

I gripped her tightly, my fingers burrowing into her clothes as if she were the only thing preventing me from utterly collapsing.

I didn’t expect it to be this hard.” My voice trembled as I blurted. “I thought I could handle it, but I can’t. I can’t lose him, Evelyn. Not when he’s everything to me.”

Evelyn’s voice was forceful but gentle as she stroked my hair. “You don’t have to lose yourself in him, Maya.”

“But he… he doesn’t need me,” I muttered, my heart breaking at the thought. “He said it himself. I’m a weakness to him.”

Evelyn took a small step back and met my eyes directly.“No, sweetheart. He’s lost, just like you. But this is your journey, not his.”

Confusion filled my eyes as I gazed at her. “What do you mean?”

Evelyn wiped a tear from my face and smiled softly. “Maya, it’s time for you to discover who you are. You’ve been trying to live on the edge for far too long. It’s time to thrive. There is strength and power within you. All you have to do is learn to control it. And I’m here to help you. I’ll guide you, every step of the way.”

Still having trouble understanding what she was saying, I shook my head. “But Darius—”

“Darius will be fine.” Her voice was calm yet forceful as she interjected,“He’s not the only one who matters in this. You have a life to live, Maya. You have your own path to walk, and you can’t let him take that from you.”

Her words weighed heavily on me, and I swallowed hard. Is it possible? Could I really move forward without him? Could I become the person I was meant to be without him by my side?

“But I need him, Evelyn. I can’t do this without him,” I whispered, my voice breaking again.

Although Evelyn’s face softened, I noticed a firmness in her eyes that I had never seen before. “You don’t need anyone, Maya. Not like this. You are enough. You always have been.”

I tried to make sense of everything whirling inside me while I closed my eyes. Even while I knew she was right at least partly it didn’t make the suffering less intense.

“I don’t want to be alone, Evelyn. I don’t know how to do this without him.”

My cheek was softly caressed by Evelyn’s palm, which grounded me. “You’re not alone, Maya. Not now, not ever. I’m here. And when the time comes, you’ll find your way back to him. But only when you’re whole. Only when you’re strong enough to stand on your own.”

Though I wasn’t sure I believed it, I nodded slowly. But, Evelyn was right. I had to find my strength, and I couldn’t do that while clinging to the one person who was also struggling.

I had to do this for myself, for the woman I could become.

I allowed myself to lean into Evelyn as she pulled me into another embrace, finding strength in her steadfast support. “Maya, I’ll support you through this. We will go step by step.”

I nodded once more as the first glimmer of optimism appeared within me. Maybe, just maybe, there was a future for me beyond the chaos.

But, I couldn’t get rid of the impression that Darius was still there, keeping watch over me, despite my best efforts to persuade myself that I could accomplish this. He seemed to be keeping his distance from me but couldn’t let me go entirely because I could practically feel his gaze on my back.

I took a shaky breath, trying to steady myself. “But what about Darius? What if he needs me?”

Evelyn drew back a little, her eyes solid but gentle. “Darius has his own part to follow Maya. He must fight his own battles. But you, sweetheart, you have yours too. And you can’t keep sacrificing yourself for him.”

I nodded, but the words didn’t quite settle in my heart.

Nevertheless, a tiny part of me knew Evelyn was right. I can't continue to run on empty in the hopes that Darius would come to my rescue. I need to save myself.

We sat there for a while, the forest silent all around us. But, even in the silence, I sensed a change within me. There was a silent resolve taking shape. I had a place to start but didn’t have all the answers.

And for the first time in what felt like forever, I allowed myself to believe that maybe—just maybe—I could find the strength to stand on my own.

Evelyn stood and extended her hand to me as the twilight grew darker. “Come on, let’s go inside. We’ll make a plan.”

Even though I felt like I was carrying the world alone, I felt lighter after taking her hand.

But as I stepped back into the warmth of the cabin, I couldn’t shake the feeling that Darius was watching me. It wasn’t just in the way the wind seemed to whisper his name, or how the hairs on the back of my neck prickled when I was alone in the clearing. No, it was something deeper, something I couldn’t explain.

He was still with me. Even if he wasn’t physically here, I could feel him.

But the question lingered: was it enough to keep me from losing myself in this war, or would I have to find a way to let him go before it destroyed me?