Chapter 170 170
Damien stepped under the cold spray of the shower, hoping the icy water would quiet the storm raging inside him. It didn’t. Not even a little. He stayed there far longer than necessary, jaw clenched, trying to wrestle his thoughts under control, but the effort was useless. Every attempt to calm himself only dragged him deeper into the same dangerous fantasy.
In the end, he gave in to it.
His mind painted a vivid picture of Jacqueline beneath him, her soft body arching as he drove into her, the sound of her breathless moans filling the air. In his imagination she whispered his name again and again in that sweet, melodic voice of hers, the same voice that haunted him even when she wasn’t near.
The image pushed him over the edge.
A shudder tore through him as he finished, his release splattering against the cold tiles of the shower wall. His chest rose and fell heavily as he leaned forward, breathing hard.
After a moment he grabbed the showerhead and rinsed the evidence away, watching the water carry it down the drain as if it could wash away the thoughts that had driven him to it.
It couldn’t.
He turned the water off and stepped out, drying himself with a towel. Pulling on a pair of boxers and sweatpants, he walked back into his room.
The silence felt heavy.
He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and a glass before dropping onto the couch with a tired sigh. Pouring himself a drink, he didn’t bother savoring it. He tossed the entire glass back in a single swallow, the burn sliding down his throat.
Jacqueline’s words echoed in his mind like a relentless chant.
She had said them so easily.
As if the intense, dangerous pull between them meant nothing. As if it were simply some reckless game to her nothing more than a bit of wild entertainment.
For reasons he couldn’t explain, those words dug deep into something inside him.
Yet part of him supposed he should be relieved.
If she truly meant what she said, then none of this would hurt her when it inevitably ended. For her, it was all fun. No expectations. No consequences.
“No strings attached.”
He exhaled slowly and poured himself another drink before taking another long swallow.
He wasn’t forcing her.
She wanted him.
And she had made that perfectly clear. They were just two adults enjoying themselves that was all. If he gave in once, maybe the obsession would burn itself out. Maybe he could take what he wanted and finally rid himself of this maddening attraction.
But the moment the thought formed, both his heart and his wolf rejected it.
His wolf had practically whimpered when Jacqueline spoke those words.
Something about hearing her dismiss their intimacy as nothing but a game unsettled him deeply. Yet at the same time, it made things easier for him. At least he could convince himself he wasn’t hurting her.
Still… something about it didn’t sit right.
In simple terms, she had handed him permission clear and uncomplicated. She was willing. She wouldn’t blame him. She wouldn’t be wounded.
And yet it felt wrong.
Why did it feel like she had lied?
The hunger inside him was becoming harder to contain with every passing day. Every glance, every brush of her skin, every sound of her voice only fueled it further.
But no matter how much he wanted her, he refused to give in.
He had to get a grip on himself.
He needed to stop acting like some pathetic, lovesick fool.
From now on, he would keep his distance. He wouldn’t touch her again.
Determined, he poured another glass and downed it in one harsh swallow. The whiskey scorched his throat, but it would take far more than that to make him drunk.
—
Jacqueline barely managed to sleep for more than an hour or two.
A nightmare had been creeping toward her, the familiar darkness closing in, but she woke just before it could reach the worst part.
She sat up abruptly, her skin damp with sweat.
After taking a moment to steady herself, she went to the shower and changed into fresh clothes. Soon afterward she hurried into the kitchen. Aunt Sofía would arrive any minute with Charlotte and Eugénie, and breakfast needed to be ready.
But her mind kept drifting back to last night.
She hadn’t meant a single word she’d said.
Still, saying it had felt necessary.
Damien kept such a tight hold on himself, always distant, always controlled. Yet she could feel how badly he wanted her. His conscience was the only thing holding him back.
She had seen it clearly.
That was why she’d said those things.
Damien would never truly belong to her, she knew that much. But at the very least she could gather these moments with him and hold them close, storing them away like precious memories.
She didn’t want to be the one who crossed the line first.
No.
She wanted him to do it.
That was the entire reason she had spoken the way she did.
And the truth was… she didn’t fully understand her own feelings anymore. The simple crush she once had on him had faded long ago.
What she felt now ran far deeper.
Beyond the overwhelming attraction between them, beyond the electric chemistry that sparked every time they were near each other she wanted something more from him.
Something he could never give.
Fate could be cruelly ironic.
Of all the men in the world, she had developed feelings for one who was already deeply in love with someone else.
Eventually he would satisfy his curiosity, indulge in the temptation she offered and when he was done, he would cast her aside.
Strangely enough, a small part of her almost wanted that.
She wanted him to take her completely, to leave his mark on her heart. Perhaps the pain would teach her a lesson for daring to feel anything for a man like him.
Loving him.
Her thoughts halted abruptly.
No.
She didn’t love him.
She simply liked him.
That was all.
That was why she had given him permission the night before. Why she had practically handed him the chance to ruin her.
Now all she could do was wait and see if he would take the bait.
Jacqueline had endured so much in her life already pain, betrayal, cruelty. Each time she had stood tall, like a shield refusing to crack. Her soul carried scars, but none of them had broken her.
Now, strangely, she wanted to test the limits of that strength.
If Damien shattered her, she would rebuild herself again.
Stronger. Colder. Untouchable.
The same distant, unbreakable Jacqueline she had always been.
Perhaps it sounded twisted.
But it wasn’t as if she planned to give him everything without gaining something in return.
She would have her moment too.
Even if it lasted only a single night, she would feel what it was like to be desired… to be cherished… to be wanted completely.
And afterward she would lock those memories away deep inside her heart.
The thought almost made her laugh.
She sounded like a tragic poet nursing a broken heart.
But it wasn’t love.
It couldn’t be.
She didn’t even know what love truly felt like.
No one had ever loved her before.
And she had never loved anyone either.
So how could she possibly recognize it?
Whatever she felt for Damien was stronger than simple lust but it wasn’t love.
If it were, it would be disastrous. Falling for a man incapable of returning that feeling would destroy her.
She shook her head sharply.
Enough.
She needed to stop thinking about him.
Instead, she should focus on the future on what she would do when she eventually returned to her old life.
She finished setting the breakfast table just as Mathieu and Damien entered the kitchen.
The meal passed quietly.
Eventually Mathieu excused himself and left the table, leaving the two of them alone.
Every now and then she could feel Damien’s heated gaze settling on her, but she ignored it completely.
She was gathering the utensils when Damien cleared his throat and placed something on the table.
Her eyes dropped to it.
His gold card.
“Use it to buy whatever you need,” he said in his deep, steady voice. “Not just a dress for the party. Get whatever you need for everyday things too.”
Jacqueline simply nodded.
She picked up the card and murmured a quiet thank-you without once looking at him. Then she turned and walked out of the room.
Privately, she had already begun keeping careful notes of every expense he covered for them.
One day, when she left this place behind
She would repay every single cent.