Chapter Thirty-Nine

He keeps true to his promise. He truly doesn't touch me. Our relationship improved after his promise, after our relations stopped. We share the same bed, but he doesn't invade my space like he normally did and I can sleep well during the night. The nightmares have stopped, too. I have breakfast downstairs with the pack every day, but we share lunch in his office. We don't talk about much except the pack. He insists on not telling me where he gets the money for all the expenses.

"Do they rob houses?"

"No."

"Banks?"

"No."

"Supermarkets?"

"Quit it, Bea. I'm not going to tell you."

"Don't you trust me? Do you think I'll hand you over to the police?"

"This has nothing to do with trust. Some things should simply be kept a secret."

I lean back in my chair. "It's that bad, huh?"

He doesn't respond and kicks me out of his office. I'll drop the subject for now, but I still want to know. But it's a touchy subject for him, so maybe he has a pact with the devil.

I run the house errands a little better now, since he's started explaining some things to me. He also handed me a book with recipes and dishes, so I keep them in mind when Danny asks me what he's supposed to cook for the day.

My attitude towards all this has changed drastically. I'm kinder, not what I used to be, but I'm treating everyone better. I'm the one who has to interact with them, so it's better if we keep it friendly. Being unfriendly and unsympathetic harbors resentments, and if there's one thing I've learned from this werewolf world, it's that resentment causes disagreements, and disagreements lead to wars and revolts. That's not what I want, or any of us for that matter.

The female who did my hair, Stella, normally helps me keep myself presentable during the day. She does my hair in the morning and touches up my makeup after meals. I've learned to embrace her talkative nature and I've learned much from her regarding style and my sense of fashion is much better. Even Reed notices and compliments me occasionally.

We have lunch together, and he tells me he's planning on joining the pack for meals. The news pleases me. I take his hand in mine. "The pack will thank you for it."

And they do when he finally takes us seat at the head of the table. They're more excited and content and he looks better, too. He looks at them, then at me. He grabs my hand and I don't pull away.

Once we're in bed, he turns to me." I don't get a reward for good behavior."

"Your pack should be your reward. Didn't you see how excited they were to see you? You did them a favor, not me."

"What happened to leniency?"

I look at him and sigh in an exasperated way. I lean towards him and kiss him lightly on the cheek.

He hasn't tried to initiate anything, and I haven't either. I think we should keep this up for a while. He doesn't invite any other female to his bed, so I guess we're making progress. I keep my thoughts of Raphas to a minimum, and I usually walk into the woods, just to distance myself from Reed when I think about him.

"You go into the woods to think about Raphas, don't you?"

"I go to think in general."

He shakes his head.

I stop by Sylvia's daily for her tea. She prepares it for me and I take slow sips. Sometimes, I pour my heart out. I tell her that I miss Raphas terribly, but I know that it hurts Reed. And hurting him isn't a priority for me anymore. I'm trying to ameliorate our relationship, not pick it apart with my own hands. This takes effort from both sides. He's trying by not touching me, and I should try by keeping Raphas on the back of my mind.

Sylvia walks towards me and takes my hand in hers. I drain the tea and hand her the empty cup. I thank her and leave. Reed will be wondering where I am and I don't want him to know I spend time with Sylvia. He'll overreact like he usually does and accuse me of thinking about him and discussing him with Sylvia. I don't want to deal with irrational Reed. I still have irrational Bea to suppress and work on.

I go to my—our—bedroom for some time alone. I left Reed in the training grounds. He's been there all morning, taking his frustrations out on his Beta. I would say it's a fair fight, but Reed is clearly the strongest of the two. When I left, they were completely naked. They have a method of shifting between combat and alternating between wolf form and human form. They shift so fast it gives me a whiplash.

I sit on the bed and close my eyes. I need this time alone most days. Everything gets so overwhelming and dealing with Reed is exhausting. He's like a child. He needs constant reassurance and I need to push him most days. It's a strain, but I'm not complaining. I just need time for myself. Our relationship is much improved and I couldn't ask for better. I don't know how long we'll stay this way, but he needs to be patient with me. I'm still not over his brother and he needs to understand that. It isn't as simple as he thought it would be. Bonding with him prevents me from physically needing him, and emotionally, but I can't erase our memories. Now that I have learnt to fight against it, it's becoming easier to think of Raphas, and I'm getting better at disguising it.

I stand by the window. I can see the training grounds from this bedroom. Reed isn't among them anymore. He must be in his office. I watch them train for a little bit. Even the females are excellent warriors. Should I take some self-defense classes? I think every Luna should. A catastrophe could hit us at any moment, and everyone needs to be ready. Especially the Luna.

I see a person I have not yet seen emerging from the woods and handing Jared a white envelope. They exchange some words and then the man leaves. Jared hands it to someone who then runs into the house. What's happening? Who was that person, and what's in that envelope.

I leave my room to find out.