138

138
CAMILLE
The sky was still dark when I woke up the next morning. The conversation with Drew was still running through my mind on repeat.
When he said that he wanted to be a couple, I didn’t know what to think. Of course, I had thought about what it would be like to date. I was already coming home to him every night and having his baby. Dating was the only step that seemed like it was missing.
Then there was the way that he made butterflies erupt in my stomach every time he gave me that warm smile or trailed his hands along my body.
I wanted him and I didn’t know what I was supposed to do with that information.
I had worked hard for my career. Too hard to let my boss completely derail
it.
When I thought about Drew as just another man I was interested in, dating
him seemed like the obvious choice. He intrigued me. I wanted to spend more time getting to know him. I wanted to share more of my life with him because it seemed like he was the only person in the world who understood me.
Drew was still snoring in his bedroom as I climbed out of my own bed and got dressed. There was a cold wind blowing as I left the villa and descended the stairs, heading for the path we had walked on yesterday.
I grabbed a blanket that was hanging over the rail at the bottom of the stairs and wrapped it around my shoulders. The morning air was still chilly, even as the first rays of sunlight started to crest over the horizon. The bright pinks and oranges glowed on the ocean, moving with the waves as I took a seat in the sand.
My mind was racing about the future as I waited for the horses. A relationship with Drew would be too complicated right now. I didn’t think that we were in the right place to attempt any sort of public relationship.
When the first horse appeared on the beach, its mane blowing in the wind, everything else faded away. I kept the blanket wrapped tight around my shoulders; my knees hugged close to my chest. My head was on top of my knees as I watched the horses run, stopping long enough to play in the water before heading over a sand dune further down the beach.
I waited until the last horse was gone before I got up and dusted the sand off my body. The sun was creeping higher in the sky as I walked back to the villa.
Drew was standing on the back deck when I got back, a steaming mug of coffee in his hands as he leaned against the railing. I took a deep breath and hung the blanket over the railing. I still didn’t know what I was going to say to him.
My heart was hammering in my chest as I climbed the steps. Drew smiled as I joined him on the back deck, but the smile was quick to fall. He took a long sip of his coffee, watching the waves.
“Have a good walk?” he asked.
“Yeah. I went to watch the horses run. I would’ve woken you up, but you were still snoring when I got up.”
He grinned and bumped his hip against mine. “I thought a lot about what you want.”
“And what do I want?” I asked as I kept my gaze trained on the waves. “You want me as much as I want you,” he said, his tone low. “But you’re
scared of what could happen. I understand the position that it would put you in but I’m not ready to give up on us.”
“I don’t know what you want to do.”
“We can keep this a secret,” Drew said, holding my chin lightly and turning my face to his. “You and me. We date. We keep this a secret. At least for a little while. We improve my image and then once I’m the kind of man who is worthy of you, we go public.”
In that moment, I was sure that my heart was going to leap out of my chest and throw itself into the ocean.
“You really mean that?” I asked, trying not to feel too hopeful.
“Keeping us a secret isn’t going to be easy, but the last thing I want is to risk ruining your career and reputation. I’m going to get my act together and then you and I will tell the HR department and our friends.”
I nodded, taking a deep breath. Even though this wasn’t the ideal situation, it was what would be best for both of us right now.
“Alright,” I said, taking his hand and lacing my fingers through his. “We’ll keep it a secret for now while we work on refining your public image.”
“We’re going to have to sit down and talk about what that really looks like. I don’t know how you think we’re going to be able to make me into an upstanding citizen, especially when my past is splattered all over the internet.”
I squeezed his hand. “It’s going to be a lot of work. You’re not going to be able to be seen out in public with women draping all over you anymore.”
“Is that jealousy?” he asked, his tone teasing as he dropped a kiss to the side of my neck. “Because you should know by now that you are the only woman I’m interested in.”
“I’m not jealous. Although should I worry about how many other women are having your baby?”
He laughed and kissed my temple. “I can promise you that no other woman has my baby. You’re the only one that I’ve ever taken risks with.”
“I don’t know if that’s supposed to make me feel better or not.”
“Camille, you’re the only woman in a very long time who has mattered to me. I know I haven’t done the best job of showing that, and I’ve been an immature ass, but that’s over now.”
I nodded, focusing on the waves rocking against the shore. “Neither of us have been the best person to each other but we’re doing better now.”
Drew was quiet for a few minutes, but it was a peaceful silence. As we stood and watched the waves, I wondered if there would ever be a point when our lives looked like this every day. My hand drifted down to my stomach as I watched the gulls flying low over the waves.
“We’re going to have a baby. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to hide the bump. There’s only so much that loose blouses, sweaters, and dresses can hide.”
“What do you want to tell people?”
I shrugged. There were dozens of stories that I could tell people. Telling friends the truth wasn’t going to happen. Leigh and Haley were my two closest friends but if I told them, then Leigh would likely tell Clarke. Haley
would probably tell Tyson and then I wouldn’t be able to hide the relationship at work.
There would be headlines that made the media and people would question if I deserved what I had earned.
It wasn’t fair that there would be questions about what I had gained in my career and how I had gained it. Every promotion that I had ever had would be under scrutiny.
Life wasn’t fair, but I wasn’t ready to be put under a microscope just yet. “I’m going to tell Leigh and Haley that it was just something that happened
one night. I was out with a guy I had been seeing but it was still new. Maybe things didn’t work out. Leigh already knows that I’m pregnant which means Haley probably knows too.”
Drew nodded, his lips pressing into a thin line. “I guess that’s as good a story as we could use.”
I nodded, though my stomach was tossing and turning. What else was there to tell anyone who asked?
I couldn’t go around and tell people that my boss had knocked me up. That was the exact thing that we were trying to avoid by keeping the relationship a secret.
“It’s the best we can do right now.” I leaned into his side as he draped an arm over my shoulder.
I didn’t know when life had gotten this complicated. In a perfect world, this would be easy. There wouldn’t be heartache when I thought about lying about the father of my child.
Instead, the world was an imperfect place and there was no easy way out. “We’re going to have to be as discreet as possible,” I said as he set his
coffee down on the little table on his other side. “There’s no more fooling
around in the office or where people might see us. And no driving fancy cars to the house. You need to be inconspicuous.”
“This is pretty discreet,” Drew said with a grin as he scooped me up. “Whisk you away to a beachside villa. Spend as much time with you in bed as possible before I have to keep my hands to myself. I would think that’s very discreet.”
“It is,” I said, laughing as I wrapped an arm around his neck to keep myself steady.
As he carried me inside and straight to the bedroom, all my worries started to disappear. There were no cameras waiting to catch him sneaking around with another woman. I didn’t have to worry about the other partners of Crestwood Capital finding out that I was in a relationship with one of my bosses.
Nothing else mattered in that moment.
It was easy to forget the outside world when I was wrapped in his arms.