Chapter 180

Chapter 180
Renée's POV 

He died.
He actually died. 
His heart stopped beating and he stopped breathing. 
Our bond broke.

I stared at my reflection in the bathroom mirror as water dropped down my face. I had a nose bleed. Again. 

I sighed as I ran a tired hand through my hair. I wasn't even surprised when I pulled a few too many strands of hair out of my head. 
I just stared at it for a moment before washing it down the drain. 

My body was getting worse. It was so obvious. Asides the side effect, the bags under my eyes, my tired face, the darkness in my eyes. 
Anyone could tell. 

But that wasn't going to stop me. Even if it killed me, I was going to keep on using my powers to heal him. 

It was working. Slowly, yes, but it was working. 

The past two weeks have been a special kind of hell for me. 

Ever since Bryan escaped the dungeons and shot Alex with a wolfsbane laced arrow, I've been working non stop trying to heal him.

After somehow jumpstarting his heart again with my powers, in front of the guests, he had been hanging between life and death.
I felt so lost without him. Our bond had weakened drastically. 

Just thinking about how the light left his eyes as he gasped for air made my knees feel like it was going to give out. The memory alone caused a sharp ache in my chest every time.
He died. I still couldn't believe it. 

He was so happy. And his happiness was ruined in the blink of an eye. 

Bryan. 
That fucking bastard. 
I saw him coming too late. 
If I had just been a second faster…

He didn't go unscathed though. 
The shock made me scream so loudly and it was directed at him, releasing too much power. It slammed him straight into the wall before the guards could even get to him. 
Safe to say, he's crippled from the waist down. 
And that's putting it nicely. 
Yes, everyone kind of had an inkling that I wasn't just a regular wolf. 
I didn't really care. 

All my life, I had never felt the urge to kill someone before. Never. Even when I thought I had murdered someone in the past, with the whole blood on my fur thing. 

But that day, I had to be physically held back to avoid ripping his head off his body. And even now, all I wanted to do was bring him suffering like he brought me. 

It's been a rough two weeks. 

Sasha has used her power to bring all the best doctors but no matter what they do, he just wouldn't wake up. 

Dylan, with the help of Emma, has been doing his best too, searching for every possible solution he could lay his hands on. 

Lily was back, and I could tell she was stuck between giving me space and staying next to me but I really didn't have the will power to deal with our strained relationship. I was glad I had someone by my side though. 

Valerie and Vivienne have visited as often as they could. They knew everything about my powers now. 
The cat was out of the bag. 

And me? 
I've been putting all my power into healing him, but despite all that, he's still healing very slowly and he just won't wake up. 
Sometimes, the healing reverses when I rest for too long. I needed to be consistent till he was fully healed.

Most of them were against it, but I didn't listen. 
Was I supposed to just watch him die? 
My powers were the only thing keeping him alive and I was supposed to stop? 
Impossible. 

I knew they were just worried about me but I didn't really care. 

I finally snapped out of my train of thoughts, dried my face with a towel and made my way out of the bathroom. 
His once vibrant room seemed so dull without him.
I stared at him on the bed. So still, unmoving. My eyes glanced at the heart monitor beside the bed, the steady beeping keeping me hopeful yet scaring me at the same time. 

I sighed. I hated how weak my body was. My powers started flickering again, so I had to rest, eat and power up again. 
I had been trying to summon the power of my spirit guides, Evelyn and Freya, but I couldn't no matter what I tried. 
And Evelyn said it would be easy. 

I wasn't going to give up though.

I packed my hair into a bun and was about to lay down beside him when I heard a knock on the door. 

I reluctantly responded, telling them to come in. 

Dylan.

“Hey” he whispered and I forced a smile as he made his way to me, wrapping me into a hug. 
I couldn't feel the usual warmth. 
Or maybe I was the numb one. Maybe I just couldn't bring myself to feel anything. 

He sat me down on the couch opposite the bed and settled beside me. 

He studied me for a moment. I could feel his gaze on me but I just stared at my hands, thinking about how else to channel the power of living things around me to summon Evelyn and Freya's powers. 
That was all I could think about. 

“You look so tired, Ren,” he said.
Yeah, no shit. 
Okay, that was mean. 

“I'm okay” I said and he sighed. 

“You really need to take it easy. If something were to happen to you, Alex wouldn't be able to live with himself” he said and I frowned. 

“Yeah, well, if I don't do this, he won't be able to live at all” I said, a little too harshly, and he sighed again, looking at me knowingly. 
I could tell he was also trying his best to pull himself together. That was his best friend, his brother. 

My shoulders sagged. 

“I'm sorry” I whispered. 

“No, don't apologize. I understand” he said and I shook my head before leaning over and burying it in my hands. 

“No, you're right. I am tired. Exhausted even. But Dylan, I cannot live with myself if I don't keep trying. So, please, no matter what, just support me? This is the only thing I can do to keep from going insane” I explained, before turning to him. 
He searched my face, worry written all over his. 

“Hey, hey” he whispered, before reaching for my face as swiping something off. 
Tears. 
I didn't even know I was crying. 

“Hey, it's okay. I'm here for you no matter what.”he said as he pulled me in for another hug. 
And somehow, just knowing that I was crying made me feel like I was being pricked by a hundred needles at once. 

I burst into tears. No. Sobs. 
And he just let me, holding me tightly through it. 

“What am I supposed to do without him?” I murmured through sobs.  

I had completely soaked his shirt by the time I finally calmed down. 

A few minutes passed in silence, save for my sniffing. 
“He's going to be fine” Dylan said, almost like he was mostly trying to reassure himself. 

I nodded. 
“Yeah, he will” 

“Emma wanted to come but she couldn't because of work” he randomly said, a failed attempt to change the subject. 

“Oh. Please thank her for me” I said and he hummed in response. 

“So, erm…” he trailed off and I cocked my head to the side.

“What?” I asked and he sighed. 

“Okay, I know this is probably the worst timing but your father has been asking to see you” Dylan said and I froze.

“Again? Didn't you tell him I didn't want to see him?” I asked. 
He had been trying nonstop to see me since the incident and I had declined every time. I glanced at my dead phone at the corner of the room, that has been off for the past two weeks. 

“I did but Ren, I really think you should see him at least once. He looked like he hadn't slept in days. He looked very worried” he explained and I sighed, before running a tired hand over my face. 

I was avoiding talking about my powers more than anything. 
I just wasn’t ready to hear his opinion. 
But it was getting annoying. 

“Fine. I'll see him. But not today. I'm so tired. Maybe in two days?” I reluctantly agreed and Dylan cracked a smile. 

“Okay, I'll tell him,” he said and I sighed. 

“Thank you Dylan. For everything” I said, hoping he knew I meant it. 

He shook his head as he watched me. 

“I should be thanking you. For keeping my best friend alive” he said and I blinked back the tears that threatened to spill again. 

“Okay” he suddenly said, jumping to his feet. 

“You should get some sleep” he said as he grabbed my shoulders and helped me up, before leading me to the bed. 

After making sure I was settled, he left. 

My eyes were trained on Alex, my arms slightly wrapped around his torso, and I just watched him till I eventually fell asleep. 

It didn't take too long anyway. I was drained.