If you Could
ALANA
“William…” I whispered in disbelief.
He is willing to take all the blame for me? My heart bled at the thought. He is willing to embrace being hated by his parents and the whole of the state just for me?
The thought brought me dread even more.
“No…” I shook my head wildly and stood up away from him. “I can never allow that to happen! You will be branded a traitor by your own father and will likely be banished to live as a rogue wolf! William, I can never allow that to happen!”
He smiled at me and shrugged off his shoulders. “It’s okay. I could live as a rogue wolf for my entire life. I think I would love being one.”
I gasped at him. Why is he lying to himself and me? Why is he doing this just to make me feel okay?
“William, are you hearing yourself? How can I allow that to happen when I am the one who ruined you? If you did not find me in the basement, then you will still live your life by now. You will not be embroiled in this mess. Have you thought that ever since I came into your life, I only brought you nothing but problems over problems? Maybe if you just let me…”
I wasn’t able to finish my sentence when I caught him staring coldly at me.
“How can you say that?” he muttered miserably. “How can you wish that you haven’t met me when knowing you is the greatest joy I have experienced in my whole life, Alana?”
“William…” I spoke but bit my tongue out when I saw the pain in his eyes. t
“If I did not find you in the basement, then I will still live my life emptily. I would languid around without a purpose. Alana, meeting you and knowing you as my mate is the only purpose I have in this whole life. If being a rogue wolf is the little price I will have to pay to protect you, then by all means I would be one. So, be it! I can be the happiest rogue wolf this world has ever seen!”
He pulled me into his arms and pressed our foreheads together. “I think I will love being one if I am with you. We get to travel together forever. No responsibilities. No curfews. No expectations from everyone.”
“No, that is not true.”
I pushed him aside and turned back around to gasp for breath as my mind went back to the dried wolfsbane in his pockets. The possibilities that could happen if William would claim that he was the one who poisoned his own mother would be limitless. I can’t ever allow it to happen.
“Before me, you are the alpha prince, William. You have a role to play. You are the next alpha king. You have the entire pack to govern.”
“That would mean nothing to me Alana if you are not by my side so, please, just trust me again this time, okay?” He touched my face and smiled at me. “Trust me again, okay?”
“No,” I said while shaking my head. “If trusting you again means you are sacrificing yourself for me, then I would never trust you again, William.”
My tears fell while saying that because I mean every word that I said.
I don’t want him to sacrifice his whole life for me. That would be selfish and uncalled for. William has already faced harsh criticisms because of me. I cannot just stay still and watch him receive more blows.
“You should not have told them that I am your mate,” I forced the words out of my mouth. “You should have kept it all a secret like you always did. I promise that it won’t hurt me at all, William. You can even reject me and I would still be fine.”
I saw how he clenched his hands together as he clutched both of my shoulders and pinned me to the wall, his eyes throwing me a dangerous warning.
“Alana, you can tell me anything wicked, insulting, and any garbage thing that you can think of but don’t let me hear that word, okay? I hate that word so much. And just to be clear with you, I would never reject you and I will never allow you to reject me even if it’s the end of the world. That word should be banned in this whole state. I will ban that word because just the thought of it makes my blood boil.”
I felt his trembling body against mine when he molded my body in his. “You are only mine and I am only yours, do you understand me?”
I looked into his eyes and nodded, my heart was both weary and happy.
“Then how about me? How about my feelings when I saw you suffering in pain? How about your welfare? William, I cannot bear to see you in constant pain just because of me!”
He caressed my face and wiped my tears away.
“Tell me, Alana. Can you really hurt my mother? Can you really do that to her? Do you really believe that you can attempt to kill the queen luna?”
I closed my eyes and tried to shove him away but could not because his grip around me is iron-like. “I could, William. Remember how I shot you back in the village? That could happen. Maybe, I just forgot about it.”
He caught my eyes and asked me again. “I am asking if you can do it truly using your own free will. Tell me, Alana, can you really hurt my mother or anyone freely? Can you poison people freely? Can you kill anyone freely?”
“No,” I answered from my heart. “No, I can never do that, William. I will not dare to hurt anyone.”
He sighed in relief and kissed my lips. “Yes, no. That is what I am talking about. You cannot afford to hurt anyone, Alana.”