Chapter 37 The Step Forward
Alyssa's POV
I haven't stopped smiling and thinking about how Zayne's mark would look on my neck. My face turns red anytime I think about the kiss and how smooth his words were.
“I heard what happened with…” Aria started, but paused, “what's her name again?" She asked and I shrugged.
“I don't know, and sincerely, I don't care right now."
The girls looked at me like I was out of my mind…if not completely, then I was close. Even I was certain at this point that I have terrible mood swings. One moment I was crying because his mom still hasn't accepted me and the next, I was thinking about how I was ready to take things to the next level with Zayne and it had nothing to do with some crazy girl.
“I know that look," Aileen said, squinting her eyes to look at me. "Did you finally have sex with my brother? Am i going to be an aunt?”
I felt my face turn red as both of them waited for my response. I first looked around to be sure no one else heard her. "What the fuck are you talking about? We just talked and he assured me that he wasn't looking for another mate so there was nothing to worry about.”
"But you're thinking about it, right?” Nira, who had been quiet for a while finally spoke up.
"Seeing how she's not wearing his mark yet, nothing happened.” Aria said. "I don't know how you manage to survive this long, but I trust myself, I'd be tying my man to the bed…a girl's got need you know.”
"If you like, we could give you some lessons and trust me, you're going to like it.” Aileen said, and Aria nodded.
“I'm scared." I finally admitted, letting out the one secret I was certain wasn't going to see the light of the day…a secret that I would rather take with me to the moon goddess but with the girls, I was an open book and I knew they wouldn't judge me or anything.
They stared at me, waiting for me to continue. “The only person I've been with is…my ex mate.” I told them, not wanting to call his name. "And he also complains about everything…I want my first time with Zayne to be different but I…”
I trailed off, avoiding meeting their gaze. "I want to be able to satisfy him properly.” I finished, biting my lips softly.
Nobody said anything for a few minutes, as if processing what I just said. "That's where you're wrong.” Aileen said.
“I know…that's the last thing you need to worry about.” Aria continued. "Alpha Zayne is obsessed with you and anyone with working eyes can see that.”
Aileen nodded, "and I know that he's definitely having a hard time keeping his hands off you.”
I ignored the fact that it was her brother we were talking about. But it did make me happy that they both think the same thing and that I was over thinking things.
"And I had a boyfriend before I finally met Xavier…he didn't mind that. As long as he's the last and best, he's definitely okay.”
"I'm with Tristan and he's not my mate.” Aileen added, not hiding the fact that she desperately wanted him to be.
"Talk about me, whose ex-boyfriend is her mate's brother.” Mel's familiar voice said, and the three of us paused to look at her and only then did she realise she said it out loud. “I'm so sorry, Luna." She quickly apologized. “I-I didn't mean to inte…”
But before she could finish, Aria spoke up. "Girl, spill the tea.” She said, motioning to the empty space beside her. "This gotta be good.” And I couldn't agree more.
And just like that, Mel became a part of the conversation and together, three of them assured me that I had nothing to worry about and with a body like mine, any guy would be crazy to not want me.
By the time we were done talking, my confidence level was on a whole different level, one that made me feel like I could do anything.
When I told the girls goodnight about an hour later, I didn't go to Zayne's office. Instead, I went to our room and sat on the edge of the bed, the quiet pressing in around me. The moonlight stretched across the floor like a silver path I wasn’t brave enough to step onto.
And the talk with the girls played over and over again in my head, combined with Zayne's voice when he spoke to me.
“When you’re ready, Red.”
Ready.
“What should I do, Nira?" I asked my wolf and her response was immediate. “I'm not going to tell you what to do, it's up to you to decide."
My fingers drifted to my neck, imagining the warmth of his mark there. The thought alone made my stomach twist. I wanted it. I wanted him. I wanted everything.
And for once… I didn’t want to hide it.
I stood abruptly, pacing to my vanity. The drawer felt heavier than it should as I pulled it open, taking a very much needed deep breath.
The lingerie I bought with the girls but never got to use
I had stuffed it in the drawer the moment I got home…besides, it was the day I ran into Iris and ended up sleeping in Zayne's arms. But now… now it felt like a challenge. A push. A step forward I needed more than I realized.
“Okay,” I whispered to myself. “No backing out.”
I took a shower in record time, changed quickly, before I chickened out. When I looked in the mirror, my breath hitched. It wasn’t the lingerie that shocked me.
It was that I didn’t look like someone unsure anymore. I looked like someone who knew exactly what she wanted but at the same time, a bit unsure.
I turned to grab my robe, but the door clicked open before I could take a single step.
I froze.
Zayne stood there.
His breath left his body in a slow, deliberate exhale. The tension that rolled off him was so thick it pressed heat into my skin.
“Red,” he said, but it wasn’t a greeting…it sounded more like a warning.
His eyes moved over me like he couldn’t stop them, like he was memorizing every inch without permission.
I crossed my arms on instinct. “I wasn’t expecting you back yet.” I said, and I heard my wolf groan but she didn't say anything.
His jaw flexed. “Clearly.”
I swallowed, suddenly aware of how the dim light hit my skin, how exposed I was. “I… I just wanted— I don’t know what I was thinking.”
Zayne stepped inside and shut the door behind him. The sound rang louder than it should.
“You knew exactly what you were thinking,” he said, voice low, calm, too calm. “That’s why you’re shaking.”
My breath caught. He wasn’t wrong. He came closer, slow enough for me to step away if I wanted to. I didn’t.
“Red,” he murmured, stopping just in front of me, “you shouldn’t play with fire when you know I’m barely keeping myself together.”
Aria's voice of how he was obsessed with me and how it was killing him not being able to touch me the way he wanted, played in my head and it was all I needed as I let my hand drop to my side.
A shiver ran through me. “I’m not playing.”
His eyes snapped back to mine. Something dangerous flickered there. Something raw.
“Alyssa,” he said, voice rough, “I am one wrong breath away from taking you right now.”
My heart jumped so hard it hurt.
“Then do it,” I whispered. His nostrils flared like I’d struck him. “Don’t test me.”
I lifted my chin. “Maybe I am.”
That was it.
His restraint shattered.
His hand slid to the back of my neck, pulling me to him, and his forehead pressed against mine like he needed the contact to control himself.
“You drive me insane,” he breathed.
“Good,” I whispered, “I wouldn't want it another way."
A growl rumbled through him, deep and before I could take another breath, his mouth was on mine.
And the world tilted.