No Other Way

No Other Way
Ian

Fraser paces along a stretch of tile in a room I can only describe as some kind of landing area. It’s mostly open to the elements, but it's a clear, blue day, not a single cloud in the sky as far as the eye can see. 

The last hints of summer warmth pick up dust as a breeze skitters through the room at large, which is domed and wide, large enough to fit six or more creatures like Fraser in their dragon forms, which I’m still trying to wrap my head around. 

I’ll have time to convince myself that what I saw last night when he shifted was real because the decision has been made. 

I am staying here. 

With him. 

Fennec and Wren are talking in low tones in the corner of the room. My cousin is dressed for a long journey. New supplies and gear hang from his shoulders, and his weapon belt is full of freshly sharpened blades. The women are upstairs preparing to leave. Even Oakley–and that hurts more than I can describe. 

Fraser has been more than generous with everyone, my wife included. 

But I’m struggling. I wanted more than anything to mark her this morning and to spend the rest of midday locked in her arms, unsure if I was willing to let go. 

Selfishly, I wondered if there was a possibility she could stay here with me. I’m still wondering that when Fraser approaches, coming to stand at my side on the balcony overlooking nothing but miles upon miles of mountains with pearly, snow-capped peaks. 

My mouth moves before my mind has a chance to catch up. “Were you mated? Before everything?”

Fraser exhales deeply, his eyes on the same horizon. “No.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.” He tucks his hands into his pockets. Dark circles line his eyes. He looks exhausted. I wonder if exhaustion is a thing for dragons, however, because his eyes are darkened by another emotion I can’t place. “Many a dragon lost their mates during the war that led to our near extinction. I’m the only fire dragon left. If I had a mate, which was rare for dragons to begin with, we never crossed paths. Not during that time, at least.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s… she’s taking a moment,” Naomi says by way of announcing her arrival. 

Fraser whips around to look at her, following her progress into the center of the room. She’s dressed in her usual cloak but is just as decked out as Fennec with new weapons and supplies on each shoulder. Her dark, thick hair is expertly braided away from her face, and her eyes shine with a sad kind of determination that cuts me to the core. 

“Is she all right?” I ask. Panic and dread settle in my stomach, turning me inside out. 

“No, she’s not,” Naomi replies, and she blinks several times before looking at Fraser and bobbing her head in a quick bow. “Thank you for your hospitality, Lord Fraser. It was most instructive.”

Fraser bites his lower lip, holding Naomi’s gaze for several seconds before he finally gives her a rather dramatic bow in return. “The pleasure was mine.” He rises, his brow arched. “Fireheart.”

She narrows her eyes into a cat-like glare and huffs, whirling toward Fennec. 

I turn back to the view, on edge. Fraser stares at Naomi a while longer before settling back on the horizon. 

“I… I don’t think I need to reject her,” I say under my breath. 

Fraser chews on my words and shakes his head. “They all said that.”

“I don’t understand.”

“She has a very narrow window, Ian. That’s what you’re not getting. You might be breaking through and reclaiming your other forms, but this affects her, too. She had a fever last night while you were shifting. That fever will reoccur until other effects take place, like broken bones, internal bleeding, anything else you can think of. Her body is going to try to shift into forms it cannot support, and she will feel everything you feel. She’ll go insane before the real brutality starts. Is that what you want?” He stares at me so intently, I feel it in my bones. “She’ll die, Ian. They all did. Figuring out that rejecting the mate stopped the progression of this–this affliction–came far too late in the war for many to survive.”

I blink back furious tears and look at the mountains again. “I’m not sure I can do it. Knowing I’m hurting her–”

“You have to choose between breaking her heart and your bond or watching your mate die the worst kind of death you can imagine.” He slowly looks at Naomi. “I know what I would choose.”

“You never found your mate, so you can’t even imagine what this feels like.” Rage I can’t hold back simmers to the surface, riling my beast form. Awakening it. 

“Remind that beast who’s in charge. You’re only making this worse for yourself.” He clasps my shoulder. For a moment, everything goes black. I sway, but I fight against the rolling wave of the incoming shift until it stops, and I feel like my feet are on solid ground again. “Who knows, in a few months, or years, you might reunite with the girl. Until then, you have to let her go, for her own sake.”

“Years is–I cannot make her wait years.”

“A year or two means nothing.”

“Maybe to you. Not to me, and not to her.” I shrug him off and stalk into the center of the room. Naomi and Fennec look up from their conversation, following my progress to their sides. 

“Oakley should be down any minute if she wants to say goodbye. She’s very upset.” Naomi folds her arms under her chest. “I’m sure this pain will lessen when we arrive back in the Deadlands in a few days. She’s being tough and brave, even for someone who was just rejected.”

“I haven’t rejected her yet,” I cut in, and Naomi’s eyes widen. 

“What? You haven’t? What have you been doing all day, then?” Fennec bites his lip and looks down at his boots. Naomi finally understands, and scoffs, her face twisting in rage.  “How could you do that to her? You’re rejecting her, Ian. For fuck’s sake.”

“It’s none of your business. She is none of your business.”

“Please,” Fennec breathes. “That’s enough.”

Naomi ignores him and steps into my space. “You need to get a grip, Ian. We traveled across Eastonia to find you. I will have hell to pay when I return without you with no way of telling our family where you are. I’m going to have to lie to everyone. We all will. And I will be lying through my teeth to keep you and our new acquaintances safe. Have you made her promises, Ian? Have you told her you’ll return? Because if you have, you’re a fucking disgrace!”

She glances toward Fraser, who’s watching the argument with muted interest. 

“You can think of me however you want. You’re not the one having to make an impossible choice.” I close the distance between us, towering over her. “You’re not the one rejecting your mate. You’re not the one shattering the heart of a mate you love, and until you’re standing where I am, watching what you thought your future held in store burn to the ground, you don’t get to say anything on the matter. I pray to the Goddess and whatever gods are listening that you’re never in my position, Naomi, because I’m not confident you could handle it.”

She snarls. I bare my teeth. Fennec shoves us apart. 

“Enough,” he shouts. The word echoes into a sudden, suffocating silence. 

Footsteps sound, shattering the stillness. Juliette appears dressed to leave, her gray cloak floating over the tiles like an apparition, and behind her, Oakley, wearing a cloak and white gown, follows. 

Her reddish-brown hair falls in loose waves over her shoulders. Her big, brown eyes are heavy with grief and uncertainty. 

I meet her before she can step into the center of the room. The rest of the group falls away, retreating to give me space. To give us space for what has to come next. 

Her exhausted eyes meet mine, rimmed red from crying. 

I smooth her hair out of her face and kiss her. I don’t care that everyone is watching. I don’t give a fuck that we have an audience, especially one that doesn’t understand how this feels. 

My entire body rejects this down to the marrow of my bones. I hate it. I wish for death over this moment. 

“I love you,” I say against her forehead, squeezing my eyes shut. “I am so sorry.”

She trembles in my arms, silent sobs wetting my shirt. 

“Goddess, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve any of this.” I press a rough kiss to the top of her head and fold myself around her, holding on for dear life for just a few seconds more. “I love you. I need you to remember that. Whatever this looks like, whatever comes next, please remember that. I will try to come home to you, I promise.”

Pain like I’ve never known creeps through my chest. I suppose my body already knows what I’m about to do and is preparing for the broken bond to shatter everything good and right in my heart. 

“But if I can’t return,” I say with so much effort the words come out as a rasp, “I want you to be happy. Be happy with someone else. Someone who can give you a warm home and children. Someone who can be there when I am not.” It takes every fiber of my being not to shift right now and lay claim to her in front of everyone. The urge to mark her is unreal, but I fight, ripping my heart apart in the process. “Do not wait long for me, Oakley. Please.”

She buries her face in my shirt, her fingers woven at the base of my spine. 

I lick my lips, sensing a presence approaching me from behind. Naomi moves into view behind Oakley, pale and uncertain. Even her eyes are wet. 

“I love you. I have to do this because I love you. There is no other way.” I glance at Fraser, who’s now standing at my side, facing me, nodding along in a silent command to do it. Rip off the bandage. 

I clutch her tight, struggling to take a much-needed breath. Fraser glances at Naomi, who returns his gaze before settling back on mine. 

I close my eyes. Maybe this makes me weak, not wanting to see Oakley’s face when I shatter our bond. 

I’ll regret not being strong enough. I already know it. 

“With the Goddess as my witness,” I rasp. “I reject you, Oakley of Silverhide, and forfeit–forfeit any claim to you–or our fated bond.” My shout of pain rings to the rooftops. Oakley screams,, and her agony tears through me, gutting me, turning me inside out. 

Suddenly, she’s gone, ripped out of my arms by a force I can’t fight, and I open my eyes to Naomi clutching her to her chest, the only thing keeping Oakley from crumpling to the floor. 

I jerk forward, reaching for her, but Fraser grabs me around the middle and hauls me away, putting several yards of distance between us. 

“No!” I shout, my legs giving way. “No. I don’t! I take it back!”

“You cannot. It’s over,” Fraser hisses, forcibly dragging me further away. Naomi struggles with Oakley’s dead weight as she falls to her knees, her hands pressed to her chest like her heart is being torn to shreds. 

“Listen to me, man,” Fraser says forcefully, jostling me. “It’s over. The worst of it is over now.”

“Fuck you! You fucking monster!” I thrash, but Fraser pins me to the floor, putting the full brunt of his weight on my body. He presses his forearm over my throat and breathlessly looks over his shoulder to where Naomi is passing Oakley to Fennec and Juliette. I strain to get a glimpse of Oakley’s face, but Fennec lifts her up, cradling her like an infant, and presses her face against his chest. 

“Go,” Naomi says. “Now. I’ll meet you at the Ridgeway Inn in the Roguelands, in Alpha Seamus’s territory. Blake and my father will be there waiting for you. That was the original plan. We’re only a day late. They’ll still be there. I know it. Go!” She shoves Juliette toward her brother. Juliette places her hand on Fennec’s shoulder. 

“DON’T!” I snarl. I’m completely out of my mind. My body acts on its own accord. I manage to rip an arm free while Fraser is distracted by Fennec’s Shadowsynger powers erupting and swirling around the trio in a vortex of shadow. My arm isn’t my own, though. A beastly paw whips toward Fraser’s head, and my talons tear across his face. 

He shouts. Fennec’s shadows fade, leaving behind empty space. 

She’s gone. She’s gone. 

She’s gone. 

Naomi suddenly takes up my entire plane of vision, her fist drawn back, teeth bared in a vicious grunt. 

Her fist meets my face directly between my eyes, and in an instant, the entire world goes still.