Chapter 24 CHAPTER NINETEEN
ALORA
The full moon rises tonight, and I'm losing control.
I stare at my reflection in the bathroom mirror, trying to steady my breathing. After Victoria's banishment at dinner, the entire pack house feels tense. And I feel worse—my skin too hot, my wolf clawing beneath the surface.
My hands grip the sink as another wave of heat crashes through me. For just a moment, my eyes flash with something darker. I blink hard, forcing them back to amber.
"Not tonight," I whisper to myself. "Hold it together. Just one more night."
But the moon's pull is stronger than it's ever been. My first full moon in Silver Creek territory, surrounded by a powerful pack, living next door to an Alpha whose very presence makes my wolf want to emerge and submit.
I change into my nightgown, planning to stay in my room. Away from windows. Away from him.
A knock on the connecting door ruins that plan.
"I know you're awake." Alpha Stone's voice carries through the wood.
I freeze, my heart hammering. "I was just preparing for bed, my Lord."
"Good. Then you won't mind bringing me the files from my desk. I left them in the dining hall."
It's a simple task. An easy order. But going back downstairs means walking past windows, being exposed to moonlight.
"Of course, my Lord. Right away."
I wrap a robe over my nightgown and slip into the hallway. The pack house is quieter now, most wolves already retired for the night. I make my way downstairs, keeping my eyes down, my breathing controlled.
The dining hall is empty, the files right where he said they'd be. I gather them quickly, turning to leave—
And freeze.
The far wall is nothing but floor-to-ceiling windows. And through them, the full moon hangs enormous and silver, impossible to avoid.
Don't look at it. Just walk past. Don't look—
But my eyes betray me, lifting to that silver disk. Power slams into me like a physical blow. My knees buckle, and I drop the files. Papers scatter across the marble floor as I gasp, fighting the shift that wants to tear through me.
No. No, no, no—
My hands press against the cool marble, and I see them starting to change. Claws trying to push through my fingernails. I squeeze my eyes shut, building my mental walls as high as they'll go.
"Breathe," I whisper desperately. "Breathe through it. You've done this before."
But I've never done it while living in an Alpha's house. Never done it while my heat builds and my mate bond pulls and the moon demands I show my true form.
I force myself to move, crawling away from the windows toward the darker corner of the room. My breath comes in short gasps, my whole body trembling with the effort of holding my human form.
The claws retract slowly. Painfully. I press my forehead against the cool wall, focusing on the sensation, using it to anchor myself.
Minutes pass. Maybe hours. Finally, the worst of it eases enough for me to stand on shaking legs.
The files are scattered everywhere. I gather them with trembling hands, careful to keep my back to the windows. To the moon that's trying to expose all my secrets.
When I finally make it back upstairs, I'm exhausted. I knock on his connecting door, barely able to stay upright.
"Enter."
I step inside, keeping my eyes down. He's at his desk, and I can feel his gaze on me as I approach.
"The files, my Lord." I set them on his desk, careful not to get too close. My hands are still shaking slightly.
"Thank you." He doesn't take them. Instead, he studies me. "You're trembling."
"I'm cold, my Lord."
"Liar." But his voice is soft, almost curious. "You're never cold. Your skin is always warm, like you're running a fever."
I don't respond, keeping my eyes fixed on the floor.
"Look at me."
I force my gaze up to his face, praying my eyes stay amber. His silver eyes search mine, and I see the moment he notices something.
"Your pupils are dilated." He stands, moving around the desk. "And your pulse is racing. I can see it here." His finger touches my throat, right over my racing heartbeat.
The contact sends heat spiraling through me. My wolf surges forward, and for one terrifying second, I feel my eyes start to change.
I step back quickly, breaking contact. "May I be excused, my Lord? I'm not feeling well."
He studies me for a long moment. "The full moon affects you."
It's not a question, but I answer anyway. "All wolves feel the moon, my Lord."
"Not like this." He tilts his head. "Wolfless ones especially shouldn't feel it at all. Yet here you are, trembling and flushed, your scent sweetening with every passing moment."
My heart hammers. He's too perceptive, too observant.
"I'm tired, my Lord. That's all."
"Go then." He waves toward the connecting door. "But Alora?"
I pause at the threshold.
"One day very soon, you're going to tell me what you're really hiding. And when you do, I promise you—whatever it is, I can handle it."
I flee to my room, locking both doors. Then I retreat to my bathroom—the only room without windows. I sit on the cool tile floor, hugging my knees, fighting wave after wave of the change trying to overwhelm me.
My claws extend and retract. My eyes flash between amber and crimson. My bones ache with the need to shift.
But I hold it. Hour after hour, I hold my human form through sheer willpower.
Somewhere around midnight, I hear movement in his room. Footsteps approaching the connecting door. The handle turns, finding it locked.
"Alora." His voice is gentle. "Open the door."
"I can't, my Lord."
"Why not?"
Because if you see me right now, you'll know. You'll see my eyes glowing crimson, see my claws extended, see everything I've worked so hard to hide.
"I'm not decent, my Lord."
A pause. Then, "Are you in pain?"
The question surprises me. "No, my Lord."
"Don't lie to me. I can hear your breathing. You're in distress."
"It will pass. By morning, I'll be fine."
Another long pause. "If you need me, I'm right here. You understand that?"
I close my eyes against the burn of tears. Why is he being kind? Why doesn't he just command me to open the door, force the truth from me?
"Yes, my Lord."
His footsteps retreat, and I'm alone again with my battle.
The hours crawl by. Every minute feels like an eternity. My body screams for release, for the shift, for the freedom of my wolf form.
But I can't. I won't.
By the time dawn breaks, I'm exhausted. My human form is intact, but barely. I'm covered in sweat, my nightgown clinging to my skin. My hands shake as I splash water on my face.
My reflection shows a girl with dark circles under her eyes, pale skin, amber eyes that look too bright.
But human. Still human.
I survived another full moon.
But I know, with sickening certainty, that next month will be worse. That my control is slipping, bit by bit.
And eventually, no amount of willpower will be enough to hide what I am.
Not from him.
Not from anyone.
A soft knock on the connecting door makes me flinch.
"Alora." Alpha Stone's voice carries concern. "The worst has passed. You can come out now."
How does he know? How does he always know?
I open the door slowly. He's standing there, already dressed for the day, looking far too alert for someone who must have heard me struggling all night.
His eyes sweep over me, taking in my exhausted state. "You need rest."
"I have duties, my Lord."
"Not today." It's not a suggestion. "Today, you rest. Recover. Master Kane's training can wait."
"But—"
"That's an order, little wolf." His hand reaches out, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. The gesture is gentle, almost tender. "Whatever battle you fought last night, you won. That's enough for now."
He leaves before I can respond, closing the door softly behind him.
I sink onto my bed, his words echoing in my mind.
Whatever battle you fought last night, you won.
But it doesn't feel like winning.
It feels like I'm slowly losing a war I was never meant to survive.