Chapter 90 Denial
>>Nico
Asher kept himself calm, but I could see his gaze get intense.
"And why do you get to decide that for me?" I could see the anger rise in his eyes.
"I know so," I replied, "You can't love me," I spoke confidently.
"You're saying this even though we have the mate bond between us?"
I looked away, "It's just a bond of attraction, nothing more." I shook my head, "It doesn't make one fall head over heels in love."
"It's a bond that indicates we're destined together." He replied, "And why would I not love someone I'm fated to be with?"
"Because this whole thing is ridiculous." I retaliated, "Our ancestors didn't pay any heed to it, why should we?" I grabbed his hands that were holding my waist, "And let me go."
"Our ancestors made a mistake." He replied, "And I will not let you go," He tightened his grip on me, "I want to make this work."
"Let me go," I clawed at his hands with my human nails, "I'm not going to discuss stupid things with you." I could feel my heart acting weird and I knew this couldn't continue.
"This isn't stupid, you're just running away."
"I'm not running away." I took out my wolf claws, I was scratching his hands with my nails before but if he doesn't let me go I'll have to use these! "Why would I run away?"
"You know the answer to that better than anyone." His grip had no intention of loosening.
"I have no idea." I raised my hands up, ready to claw my way out, then attacked.
"Because you're afraid," He said, catching me off guard
!!!
I froze in my stance with my eyes slightly wider. His words resonated in my mind and I felt weak.
"I'm," I was going to say I'm not afraid but I then stopped. If I said that, wouldn't I just be giving myself away, "Why would I be afraid?" I raised my eyes to look at him again, "Of what?"
He looked into my eyes, "You know what you're afraid of." His expression softened when he looked at my face.
"There's nothing to be afraid of-" I paused, "Why are you looking at me like that?"
He was looking at me with a pitiful expression, "You really can't tell?" He kept his eyes on me, "Your eyes are wide, pupils dilated, your claws are out and in case you still haven't noticed, your eyebrows are furrowed and you look like a wild cat who's getting ready to attack a person it's scared of."
....
My heart trembled at his words.
I was at a loss. How do I respond to those words? I retracted my claws and looked away, "It-" I gulped, "I want you to let me go, that's why I'm like this."
"Liar," He put such a blatant label on me that it pissed me off, "You're afraid to get close to me because you like me too."
"I don't," I replied confidently.
"Impossible," He replied
"It's possible."
"If it was, you would not be constantly running away from me."
!!!!
I gritted my teeth.
Why does he always hit the mark? Why? How?!?!
"Let me go, Asher,"
"No,"
I slammed my hand on his face, trying to push him away, "Let me go,"
"I said no!" He didn't move his hands from my waist and I took my claws out again. This time I scratched the back of his hands.
"Let me go!!" I raised my fists to stab his hands and have him release me.
"It's got something to do with your family, doesn't it?"
I froze with my hands in mid-air, and my eyes automatically traveled to him.
"How?" The word just left my mouth without me realizing and only after it did come out did I realize how I made a huge mistake, "Wait, no, I mean-" I got frantic but he cut me off
"Stop lying Nico," His stern voice made me pause, "If you simply hated me so much you wouldn't have run away from me, you would have forced me to reject you."
!!!
My heart sank at his words.
"What is it?" He asked, "What did they say to you that you can't even follow your heart?"
As I continued to look at him, I found my emotions a mess and my heart throbbing. The tears wanted to well up in my eyes but I didn't even let them form.
His words hung in the air like a heavy cloud, and a whirlwind of emotions churned within me. Somehow he had managed to expose my deepest secret, a fear that I had tightly held within me, believing it would forever remain hidden.
First and foremost, I felt vulnerable. It was as if my very soul had been laid bare before him. I had never intended for him to discover the extent of my fear, especially not the fear I held towards my own family. The realization that my well-guarded secret was now out in the open sent a shiver down my spine.
Surprise coursed through me.
How?! We've all been careful with public image, so how does he know?!?
I hadn't expected him to uncover this hidden truth. In my mind, my fear of my family was a solitary struggle, something I had carried for years without ever uttering it aloud.
Yet I couldn't bring myself to acknowledge that he was right. I couldn't give it to him.
Mixed with the surprise came a pang of shame. I felt exposed, as though a glaring spotlight had been cast upon my flaws and insecurities.
But the curiosity was killing me, about how he managed to unveil this.
A hint of anxiety crept in as I grappled with the consequences of this revelation. If I affirm this, how would he react? Would he view me differently? But if I affirm it, I would get further in trouble because he would want the answer as to why I fear them and what made them instill fear in me and I don't think I can tell him what I am.
The fear of judgment and the unknown danced in my mind and the words just got caught up in my throat.
"Nico?"
Asher's hand bled a little, I did scratch it after all but I didn't know what to say to him, so I just said whatever came to mind.
"I'm hungry," I said, "I want to eat."